long term ex dumped me - still love him

[Rachel195]

I was with my ex for five years. We were eachothers best friends. He was with me through everything.. I've cried in front of him hes cried in front me. We had this connection for so long its nothing like I can explain. We got our own apartment together a year ago.. 75% of the time everything was great. Then we started arguing about bills. I made the most money so I didnt make him pay his half of the rent or phone just handle what he can and we were both trying to go to school and handle rent also we had one car at the time and we ended up getting into a wreck so we had a rough patch but we made it through stronger. However, at the beginning of Feb.. things started changing.. He started partying alot more staying out til 4 am.. and I wouldnt go with him because I work full time and go to school full time. Plus I am not a party girl, I'm a good girl. But I would nag because I never got to spend time with him. We continuously bumped heads and at the end of Feb he broke up with.. He said he no longer has feelings for me and he hasnt been happy for awhile. He said I was suffocating him and I don't even give him a chance to miss me. I did everything in the book cried begged tried to convince.. Finally he yelled "I dont love you anymore!" Thats when i took a shower put some make up and left our home. It was all just too abrupt.. We been broken up for 2 months now. I have only called him once and that was about a month and a half after the BU because hes still on my phone line and we needed to meet up to pick up some money. I asked him where I stood with him and he said "there you go again i dont have to answer anything!" I said "im just trying to get some closure" and he said "i miss you, i still think about you, but i dont have feelings for you. That's why I left - because I dont love you anymore" it hurt but i quickly said okay and hung up. I havent talked since.. he posts on facebook about all his partying and how hes doing great! He parties thurs thru sunday.. hes always with all his friends drinking constantly.. he barely has talked to me and hes telling everyone how hes much happier now. Who is he trying to convince? Everyone or himself? He even wrote on his facebook "even with all that stuff that is not how it should be or how i want it i can honestly say im at my happiest right now"... I dont know what to do ... I love him unconditionally, and deep down, I feel he still loves me but could handle the stresses of our relationship..I debated what to do. I havent called him or texted him - I figured my best bet is to leave him alone. But how can he turn off all of our memories that haunt me at night. Please help.. Im trying to be strong and Im not letting him see how upset I am.. but I wish hed fight for us.. I have given all that I could. I took way more than I should have and always stood to support him.. advice please! Should I tell him how I feel..? I don't want to lose my best friend.

[SalientPoint]

God, that's the worst. I'm really sorry. I mean, it seems like you got together when you guys were pretty young, so it really sounds to me like you're more mature and are ready to grow up and be an adult and he's not yet. The timing might be off. I think from 18-25ish, all bets are off regarding relationships just because it's such a huge transition time for most. Hell, my ex did this and she's a 34 year old woman with her ish together, so it can happen at any age unfortunately.

 

I think the only thing you can do is take him at his word for it, and stay NC. Also, don't check his facebook, block him if you have to. I know how painful it all is, but it's really the only solution. I have to remind myself of this as well.