BLB93 Posted April 17, 2013 Share Posted April 17, 2013 My ex and I have been broken up for almost a year now and we were together for a year and 6 months. I ended the relationship, I thought that by now things would be better but I'm still not over him though in the least bit. I have dated since but haven't had much luck, it's mostly been guys that just want casual relationships or sex. After we broke up I slept with quite a few guys and I told him about it. He's still very bitter and angry with me about it but has moved on for the most part. I really feel like I won't be able to find someone as attractive or smart, or that I have so much in common with. I know I should have considered all that stuff before but the relationship was very dysfunctional and it had to end. I'm probably not looking in the right places and i'm not in any rush to find someone, I need to focus on myself, but so far everything's very discouraging. Maybe it's the type of people I attract? or my standards are too high? Has anyone else had this problem? Link to post Share on other sites
Nyla Posted April 17, 2013 Share Posted April 17, 2013 My ex and I have been broken up for almost a year now and we were together for a year and 6 months. I ended the relationship, I thought that by now things would be better but I'm still not over him though in the least bit. I have dated since but haven't had much luck, it's mostly been guys that just want casual relationships or sex. After we broke up I slept with quite a few guys and I told him about it. He's still very bitter and angry with me about it but has moved on for the most part. I really feel like I won't be able to find someone as attractive or smart, or that I have so much in common with. I know I should have considered all that stuff before but the relationship was very dysfunctional and it had to end. I'm probably not looking in the right places and i'm not in any rush to find someone, I need to focus on myself, but so far everything's very discouraging. Maybe it's the type of people I attract? or my standards are too high? Has anyone else had this problem? If your ex was so attractive and smart, what made you want to break up with him? Not sure why you felt the need to tell your ex about the men you slept with after you and he broke up. That is like rubbing salt in the wound and rather cruel. Your standards are not too high. Just be honest about what you are looking for, stop looking and the right man will come along. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
OwlSoul Posted April 17, 2013 Share Posted April 17, 2013 Probably you should take a break off relationships. When you jusp to new ones straightaway people can feel you're in a desperate search of new love and etc. So they try to use it or avoid you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author BLB93 Posted April 17, 2013 Author Share Posted April 17, 2013 We had a lot of problems that couldn't be worked out, we fought all the time and I just think we weren't compatible. And I know, I should've kept all that to myself but I felt like I had to be honest with him, I regret it so much Link to post Share on other sites
ThatJustHappened Posted April 17, 2013 Share Posted April 17, 2013 Damn..now I have Sinead O'Connor in my head... No one compares with him until someone does. Was it easy to meet him? No, probably not, right? Well it won't be easy to meet the next person you fall in love with either, but when it happens, he'll be better than the ex and this whole thing won't even matter anymore. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
SalientPoint Posted April 17, 2013 Share Posted April 17, 2013 (edited) Hmm, well this might not be a popular opinion but I will say that sometimes I feel a bit more that I've been around the block since I'm older than a lot of posters I see, but I do believe in loves of your life, but not necessarily that there is a " one". My ex gf whom I dated the last 2 years of college was I guess what I consider up till now the " love of my life". I started dating when I was in my early teens, dated her from 20-22, and basically though I know no one is perfect and sometimes she made me so mad I just wanted to smack her in the face (of course I never did) she was perfect to me. Well she dumped me in a spectacularly brutal manner and I never really got over her despite the passage of time and a lot of therapy. The pain did dull though, to where I could date again and be in other relationships, I just never felt the way I did about those girls that I did with her. Then last year I met my most recent ex, whom I finally felt on the same level as college sweetheart ex. It wasn't quite as intense because I'm older now and a bit more jaded, but she was the only women in 13 years and with about 6 years in between that I've felt that intensely about on the same level. I actually thought she'd be the one I ended up marrying, but basically we broke up as well (she pretty much dumped me by ignoring me and refusing to commit/compromise yet I guess technically she might argue I dumped her). Anyhow, point being, I've only experienced that kind of love twice in my life over many years, but the only thing that keeps me going is thinking that hopefully I will find it again. So I have that same hope for you Edited April 17, 2013 by SalientPoint Link to post Share on other sites
uniqwa Posted April 17, 2013 Share Posted April 17, 2013 well I've been separated for two months, this will be month number 3.. I can say that you won't find anyone who compares to your ex.. He was one person, no two people are alike... You can try.. I plan on trying to find someone who measures up to mine, he was intelligent, funny and sweet on top of all that he was extremely handsome.. There are not a handful of guys with those qualities.. I haven't gone on a "date" as of yet, one picnic with a guy, talked about my ex cried my ass off.. He told me " you're way too good for me, you are still innocent" he gave me advice, told me that my ex didn't really love me.. so yea.. YOU are just going to have to keep trying.. it sucks ass. Link to post Share on other sites
crederer Posted April 17, 2013 Share Posted April 17, 2013 Well if you really feel this way after this long maybe talk to him. Let him know how you feel and where the problems were in the relationship and see if there is any chance of working on those problems. I know this isn't the popular opinion on these boards, but I know so many people that were in a similar situation and got back together and are very happy now. It does happen. Link to post Share on other sites
Pisces13 Posted April 17, 2013 Share Posted April 17, 2013 We had a lot of problems that couldn't be worked out, we fought all the time and I just think we weren't compatible. And I know, I should've kept all that to myself but I felt like I had to be honest with him, I regret it so much So why do you want him back then? Link to post Share on other sites
CptSaveAho Posted April 17, 2013 Share Posted April 17, 2013 (edited) She doesn't she's having a bad single day...looking for love CPR from the ex so she can continue to go back to dating more losers Why people mistake contact after so long as the ex actually wants them back Edited April 17, 2013 by CptSaveAho Link to post Share on other sites
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