chimom Posted April 12, 2013 Share Posted April 12, 2013 My lover broke up with me because of personal/psychological issues that they felt they could not deal with in the context of a relationship. I asked if I could stay by their side and perhaps even be a support while they worked on them, but they feel sure they need to go it alone. How to grieve? How to deal? There were some times that were confusing because of their issues, but our time together was wonderful. They are an amazing (yes, and troubled) person. We are both terribly sad. They want to be friends but I told them I cannot dial back my feelings and be a platonic friend when I want to hold them, love them, grow with them. I told them I needed to stay out of contact. I wish I could find some anger, but I cannot. It was the sweetest most loving relationship I was ever in. Does the no contact rule apply when there is still love and grief and missing each other? (I'm thinking it does, but convince me because it is going to be supremely hard.) I would appreciate advice from anyone who has been through anything similar. Link to post Share on other sites
uniqwa Posted April 12, 2013 Share Posted April 12, 2013 Dude if you guys are feeling this TOWARDS each other????? The feeling of longing and missing one another is literally reciprocated !?!?!?! Then you should tell that person that you love them, if they've told you they need to do it alone.. Don't listen to them! If you're missing him/her and she/he is missing you then you both LOVE EACH OTHER and should give it another try.. There's literally no reason as to why you both should not be able to be there for one another whilst you both work on yourselves. Honestly even if he/she said they wanted to work on themselves and not have you there, STILL be there ! literally it makes "working on yourself" a billion times harder when you're dealing with heartbreak and loss of someone you love.. SO stick around. Don't give up. Link to post Share on other sites
Author chimom Posted April 12, 2013 Author Share Posted April 12, 2013 I've done that, promised to be there and patient with the process. They say they must do it alone. Link to post Share on other sites
Infnitysign Posted April 12, 2013 Share Posted April 12, 2013 I've done that, promised to be there and patient with the process. They say they must do it alone. Use no contact until they miss you so much they just have to lean towards you and it might hurt you a lot while you do this. Link to post Share on other sites
maiden555 Posted April 12, 2013 Share Posted April 12, 2013 Going through something similar. My old love has mental health problems but I'm not sure how much he's trying to improve himself, he's stuck. I love him so much and it's so frustrating not being able to be together for what feels like no good reason. Link to post Share on other sites
lissa90 Posted April 12, 2013 Share Posted April 12, 2013 I am in the exact same situation (have a look at my posts). You have to accept that this relationship isn't going to work no matter how much you love them, miss them, long for them. We and my ex both love each other but because of his issues we can't be together and can't make it work. Get into NC. You can not be friends and you cannot support them no matter how much you want to and no matter how much you believe you can. You have to accept its over. And you have to start the healing process. I implore no contact. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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