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Should I cut her off forever?

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Old 11th April 2013, 3:50 PM   #1
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Should I cut her off forever?

Okay, well here's my story real quick. Ex-gf and I were together for 2 years almost to the day, and it was an incredible, intense relationship right until the last week. We spoke of getting married, moving in together this summer, etc... she seemed even more excited about it than me. She's 21 and I'm 26 (25 at the time). We had a mutual friend who I used to play in a band with, which is how I met her. He went through a really bad divorce in November, and began messing around with my ex's older sister. Who is married. After a month, things fell through because her family forced her to stop talking to him. Seemed like they were okay, then about a week later my girlfriend suddenly begins texting/hanging out with him almost daily. Begins blowing off our plans for him at times. Then the bomb drops, says we should take a break... I disagreed, but we didn't see each other for a week. A week later, she breaks it off with me and in a few days I find out she's messing around with my friend. So I cut off contact with both of them. This was around the end of February (relationship ended in January).

I had been NC for six weeks, and began seeing a girl (kind of a rebound, but we were both aware of this going into it) and of course, things fizzled out within a month or so. Ex had been sending me random breadcrumbs every two weeks or so, a text here and there about family drama I had no involvement in or random sales she'd seen in stores that she thought I'd care about. I never responded. I knew she was still in a relationship with the friend and probably looking for an ego boost.

Finally, a couple weeks ago, I get a text. We had a joint bank account that I had taken my name off of and she got a charge from my Netflix account. I figured I'd respond to that since it seemed legit, and cancelled the transaction. No problem. She began asking how I was, and since I had been NC for so long I was pretty strong... I engaged in conversation. Ended up with me telling her we should go for coffee sometime, just as friends. In retrospect I feel this was foolish, but it seemed harmless to me at the time. We didn't speak for a week or so, and then one day she said okay... let's meet up at 2 for coffee. I agreed.

We met up, and she seemed incredibly happy to see me... it looked like she was holding back tears when she came up to me and gave me probably the biggest hug she had ever given me, saying "oh my god... it's so great to see you." Honestly it felt like she was a stranger at first, but we warmed up quickly and with the exception of physical contact it felt exactly the way it used to. We ended up hanging out for 2 hours, talking about what we had been up to for the last 3 months. I went into this with zero hopes, but naturally after that, I began getting those thoughts again of "what if". We parted ways, and then suddenly she began getting cold again. Hardly responding to messages and waiting hours to do so. Then I find out she's plastered a ton of photos of her and my ex-friend on Facebook and bought him this really expensive motorcycle jacket. I haven't talked to her for 3 days, because I feel almost as if I were used for an ego/emotional boost. I feel like I did a few days after the first time I went into NC... I can't believe simple breadcrumbs led to this.

My question is... obviously my ex has a textbook case of G.I.G.S. Left me for a guy twelve years older than her that she wasn't very compatible with, for no reason, totally changed her appearance and friend base to people who love to party all weekend, drinks constantly when she used to HATE it... am I making the right decision in making a SERIOUS effort to do NC this time? I'm afraid if I exit her life forever, she'll end up marrying this dumbass. However, if I continue basically being her doormat... obviously that's unhealthy for me. Do you think she'll ever come back? The part that hurts the most is how excited she was to see me and the way her eyes lit up when she talked to me that day. Talk about mixed signals...
sgibson1967 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11th April 2013, 3:52 PM   #2
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"Should I cut her off forever?"

Yes and I didn't even read the thread..
Mack05 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11th April 2013, 5:36 PM   #3
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I have the almost the EXACT same situation as you. My answer is No. After she did what she did to me "leaving me for a friend" and making me out to be in the wrong I don't think she deserves the satisfaction of talking to me. She will see what she has done day. If not I guess that just shows what kind of person she really is.
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Old 11th April 2013, 5:45 PM   #4
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Originally Posted by Mack05 View Post
"Should I cut her off forever?"

Yes and I didn't even read the thread..
I did read it, and found I could've made the same call.

Who the hell needs people like this in their lives?
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