Sheilalou008 Posted April 5, 2013 Share Posted April 5, 2013 I am a true advocate for no contact. It has done wonders for me. I have taken my power back and am actually happy being single. Not buying into breadcrumbs. They hold no weight and end up leaving you feeling worse. That is why no contact works. No more broken promises or back and forth. Getting out and doing things for yourself. Working, hobbies, friends or whatever you want. It is a great feeling to be able to be free. Enjoy it! Having self respect. No one wants someone who doesn't care or love themselves. So, your lover left you, your heart is broken. Pick yourself up and see that this person wasn't the best for you. Do not chase someone who will not give you what you deserve. We all want love and to give it. It has to start with yourself. I know it all sounds so cliche but these things will work if you allow them to. Sitting in your bed and crying about lost love isn't going to bring it back. It just leaves you feeling worse. FFS, stop worrying about how they are doing, what they are thinking and who they are with. Again, driving yourself crazy doesn't change anything. It is self defeating. Worry about yourself and mending your broken heart. IT WILL GET BETTER! 6 Link to post Share on other sites
ThatJustHappened Posted April 5, 2013 Share Posted April 5, 2013 Excellent post Sheila!! You're a strong lady and I hope you're doing well. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sheilalou008 Posted April 5, 2013 Author Share Posted April 5, 2013 None of this came easy for me. I really struggled in the beginning. At one point about a week after he kicked me out, I was sobbing on the floor, my heart hurt, I was sick and couldn't eat. It was not one of my finer moments. I remember it clearly. It was a friday about 4:30pm and I picked up my phone and started looking for someone, anyone I could talk to. I got a hold of a local mental health organization. I explained that I was in crisis. I felt so stupid, I mean people go through so much worse and here I was looking for help for a broken heart. I had to though, I could not do it any longer. I got in by the following wed afternoon and started my journey for myself. It had nothing to do with him and everything to do with me. I found that doing things for me instead of him was very satisfying and slowly I started to feel better. I was not going to feel like that for one minute longer than I needed to. I am a 37 year old woman who has some great qualities and some day my time will come. I have spent so many years with the wrong men hoping that they will change or altering myself to their unrealistic expectations. Never again. I have a lot of love to give someone who wants it. I am loyal, faithful, caring, giving, grumpy, an @sshole, blunt, forgiving, sarcastic and many other good and bad things. I am a realist through and through, no candy coating, I see things for what they are. I am wrong sometimes and will always admit it. Most men cannot handle being called out, I take it is stride. I may not always like it but it always makes me think on how to improve myself. If someone cannot love me for me, that bye bye. But thank you for the kind words, they mean a lot. As you can tell I tend to ramble... Link to post Share on other sites
mtnbiker3000 Posted April 5, 2013 Share Posted April 5, 2013 FFS, stop worrying about how they are doing, what they are thinking and who they are with. Again, driving yourself crazy doesn't change anything. It is self defeating. Worry about yourself and mending your broken heart. This... This can be tough. I struggle with this one quite a bit. I have had to, on more than one occasion, pull my thoughts out of a crazy spiral of fabrication and delusion. NC is great because you won't know what's going on, but it's terrible because you imagine what's going on... Never again. I have a lot of love to give someone who wants it. I am loyal, faithful, caring, giving, grumpy, an @sshole, blunt, forgiving, sarcastic and many other good and bad things. I am a realist through and through, no candy coating, I see things for what they are. I am wrong sometimes and will always admit it. Most men cannot handle being called out, I take it is stride. I may not always like it but it always makes me think on how to improve myself. I believe this is very important. Take a look at ouselves and really dig deep. Easier said than done. BTW - Some men can handle being called out... Just do it constructively and not in a mean tone... A little candy is OK, but still get your point across Link to post Share on other sites
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