Stroking her ego ?

[philthebill]

I broke up with my girl friend about 6 months ago. I broke up for these reason, and doing it was not something I took lightly! She was getting friendly with a guy in work, and I was a little suspicous.

 

1. girlfriend was going to work early

2. girlfriend went out to a staff party, no contact for the night.

3. Girl friend goes to beach with male co worker, a day later.

4. For the rest of the week she was meeting up with friends and staying over with them, going for dinner etc once again no contact for most of the week.

5. Working late, when she never had done before

6. She was geting lifts home of a "friend" from work for a while before all this also.

7. Very little contact for the whole week, which lead me to think somthing was up!

 

(Any time we both went out we would always kept contact)

 

Was i justified in breaking up ???? She blames me for the break up!

 

She got with the guy I was worried about stright after. The thing is she kept putting up pictures of him on facebook and instagram! Blocked her on facebook but I keep finding my self check her instagram. Am sure this guy is a nice chap and all, but he's is worlds away from me, and it really seems that my ex has gone for some one who does in my eye not suit her one bit.

 

After months of arguments, bitterness, and harsh words been said. She contacts me the other day. After 7 months I have started seeing some one again. So I put a little picture up of her on instagram. That night my ex contacts me, slagging her, telling me shes very skinny etc.. then telling me her mother is sick, and its not looking good. I empathised with her, and reassured her everything will be ok.

 

We then talk a little, and she explains that, she is only with this fella because he was there for her when the break up happend and was really supportive! She is know in a relationship with him and goes on to explain that there is no chemistry between them and he is just an all around nice guy, she tells me all he talks about is cars, and he is just not me. I said if you dont love him, or hes more a friend would it not be better to move on, she told me it would not be fair to break up with him because it was not his fault he got caught up in this! She went on to saying " I 'm losing more control in my abilities to pretend your not there in a bid to fool my mind" and thats how she has been handling the break up.

 

Is she contacting me to see if i still have feeling for her, she keeps talking about the past and how amazing we where together, or is she just confused ! Every time i seem to get back on my feet she contacts me. She even wants to meet up even though both of us are in a relationship, and shes very intrested in knowing if my current lady friend knows about her. I really do still lover her and finding it very hard moving on even with all the drama

 

What do you make of all this muddled drama ?

[siankat]

If you value your mental health...stay away from her. Her way of handling men in relationships sounds toxic :/ I know u love her...sometimes we love people who aren't all that great though. You sound better off now than to be involved in her games. Sorry.

[BrokenHeartedSavior]

Could not agree more with siankat!

 

Furthermore, you were more than justified to break up wih her! A blind man could see what she was doing prior to your BU.

 

cut off ALL communication with her before you lose your current lady.

[philthebill]

Hey Broken heart, she told me that she was not cheating on me, but it was very hard for me to believe her with everything that went on. I was in conflict weather I made the right choice or not. But I am sure I did, for she even wanted to meet up with me while she is with her current boyfriend!! Thanks for your your reply

[Chi townD]

Dude, the writing is on the wall. She was cheating on you. She may or may not have been having sex with this guy, but she was cheating none the less.

 

There are two types of cheating. A Physical Affair (PA) and an Emotional Affair (EA). She was emotionaly invested into this dude. So much so that as SOON as you were no longer together, she IMMEDIATELY jumped into a relationship with this guy. Girls don't do that kind of stuff unless they're comfortable with the guy that they're going to be with. Hence, she gave herself emotionally (if not physically) with this guy already.

 

One thing about a lot of dumpers, THEY want to move on but have a hard time with you moving on without them.

[blindhope]

You know her best. And I'd go with your gut on this one. Most of that sounds liek my ex, a month after the breakup I found out she was with someone else and had at the very least been seeing him at the end. I'm better off without her as she now is in a messy situation and so are you.

 

Cheaters never change and karmas a b***h.

[ambidextrous]

I broke up with my girl friend about 6 months ago. I broke up for these reason, and doing it was not something I took lightly! She was getting friendly with a guy in work, and I was a little suspicous.

 

1. girlfriend was going to work early

2. girlfriend went out to a staff party, no contact for the night.

3. Girl friend goes to beach with male co worker, a day later.

4. For the rest of the week she was meeting up with friends and staying over with them, going for dinner etc once again no contact for most of the week.

5. Working late, when she never had done before

6. She was geting lifts home of a "friend" from work for a while before all this also.

7. Very little contact for the whole week, which lead me to think somthing was up!

 

(Any time we both went out we would always kept contact)

 

Was i justified in breaking up ???? She blames me for the break up!

 

She got with the guy I was worried about stright after. The thing is she kept putting up pictures of him on facebook and instagram! Blocked her on facebook but I keep finding my self check her instagram. Am sure this guy is a nice chap and all, but he's is worlds away from me, and it really seems that my ex has gone for some one who does in my eye not suit her one bit.

 

After months of arguments, bitterness, and harsh words been said. She contacts me the other day. After 7 months I have started seeing some one again. So I put a little picture up of her on instagram. That night my ex contacts me, slagging her, telling me shes very skinny etc.. then telling me her mother is sick, and its not looking good. I empathised with her, and reassured her everything will be ok.

 

We then talk a little, and she explains that, she is only with this fella because he was there for her when the break up happend and was really supportive! She is know in a relationship with him and goes on to explain that there is no chemistry between them and he is just an all around nice guy, she tells me all he talks about is cars, and he is just not me. I said if you dont love him, or hes more a friend would it not be better to move on, she told me it would not be fair to break up with him because it was not his fault he got caught up in this! She went on to saying " I 'm losing more control in my abilities to pretend your not there in a bid to fool my mind" and thats how she has been handling the break up.

 

Is she contacting me to see if i still have feeling for her, she keeps talking about the past and how amazing we where together, or is she just confused ! Every time i seem to get back on my feet she contacts me. She even wants to meet up even though both of us are in a relationship, and shes very intrested in knowing if my current lady friend knows about her. I really do still lover her and finding it very hard moving on even with all the drama

 

What do you make of all this muddled drama ?

 

This girl did those 7 things you described purposely to find out if you still love her and care about her coz probably your relationship hit plateau, as we all know women loves attention. If this girl really wants to cheat behind your back she would have done it meticulously and undetected remember "girls are better liers?" You should have talked to her about those things before breaking her heart and let her know how you felt about them that's why she did thme in the first place. I'm possitive that she will tell you every details of it.

 

She blames me for the break up! ^^^These should answer your question.

 

The thing about her and her mom getting skinny and sick was a pity routine to see you in person so you can both talk. The guy she was talking about was just A RENT A CAR this girl love/loved you man bro. If you still love this girl TALK TO HER BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE!

 

 

"Ego and pride only exist when you think it's there."

Edited April 14, 2013 by ambidextrous

[atarisboy86]

It's an ego stroke. Don't fall for it. My ex recently did the same thing, even though she too is now dating another guy.

 

She told me the other guy would be pissed if he knew she was getting in contact with me. Your ex sounds very similar.

 

She's using you as a safety net, to be her "friend", while the other guy gets the benefits of the relationship. Walk away with some dignity.

[CompleteFailure]

That night my ex contacts me, slagging her, telling me shes very skinny etc..

 

She went on to saying " I 'm losing more control in my abilities to pretend your not there in a bid to fool my mind" and thats how she has been handling the break up.

 

Is she contacting me to see if i still have feeling for her, she keeps talking about the past and how amazing we where together, or is she just confused ! Every time i seem to get back on my feet she contacts me. She even wants to meet up even though both of us are in a relationship, and shes very intrested in knowing if my current lady friend knows about her. I really do still lover her and finding it very hard moving on even with all the drama

 

What do you make of all this muddled drama ?

 

Seriously that night? She is either crazy stalker or still crazy in love.

 

She said that? She is either crazy stalker or still crazy in love.

 

Every time you get back on your feet? She is either crazy stalker or still crazy in love.

 

I would say talk is talk but her wanting to meet up... I don't know, but I fear for your safety.

 

Why does she care if your lady friend knows about her? That sounds like she's hunting for some ego and/or a way to sabotage your new relationship.

 

Let's say you meet up with her and f*ck, than she tells your new girl about it and at the same time she leaves you. Sounds like some revenge to repair her ego of you leaving her when you did.

 

Don't fall for that kind of sh.t unless she shows up at your house naked wanting to do a threesome!

[CompleteFailure]

This girl did those 7 things you described purposely to find out if you still love her and care about her coz probably your relationship hit plateau, as we all know women loves attention. If this girl really wants to cheat behind your back she would have done it meticulously and undetected remember "girls are better liers?" You should have talked to her about those things before breaking her heart and let her know how you felt about them that's why she did thme in the first place. I'm possitive that she will tell you every details of it.

 

She blames me for the break up! ^^^These should answer your question.

 

The thing about her and her mom getting skinny and sick was a pity routine to see you in person so you can both talk. The guy she was talking about was just A RENT A CAR this girl love/loved you man bro. If you still love this girl TALK TO HER BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE!

 

 

"Ego and pride only exist when you think it's there."

 

NO! FALSE!! If she loved you she would have immediately fought for you once you broke up with her. Did she fight for you?

 

Yea maybe she did those 7 things out of love, or maybe she did them so blatantly because she thought you were a total fool. Girls try to make their fellas jealous, sure I get it. Who stays overnight at friends places multiple times a week without contact out of love?

[uniqwa]

first off.. I feel sorry for your ex.. She made the same mistake I did.. I talked, I just talked to this guy, he was my homie. I knew him since I was 14, when I met him he was dating my swim team captain, all around nice sweet guy. Only he started telling me more things.. Like he liked me.. I told him I wasn't over my ex and he said he would wait for me to get over him.... Nice guys when they are "there" and we just want to vent just seem to pop up like popcorn literally, its when you get lonely and you want someone to just talk to that u make the mistake.. I should tell him I don't like him O_- but I completely feel for your ex.. going through the same prob.

[Thunderchild]

I broke up with my girl friend about 6 months ago. I broke up for these reason, and doing it was not something I took lightly! She was getting friendly with a guy in work, and I was a little suspicous.

 

1. girlfriend was going to work early

2. girlfriend went out to a staff party, no contact for the night.

3. Girl friend goes to beach with male co worker, a day later.

4. For the rest of the week she was meeting up with friends and staying over with them, going for dinner etc once again no contact for most of the week.

5. Working late, when she never had done before

6. She was geting lifts home of a "friend" from work for a while before all this also.

7. Very little contact for the whole week, which lead me to think somthing was up!

 

(Any time we both went out we would always kept contact)

 

Was i justified in breaking up ???? She blames me for the break up!

 

She got with the guy I was worried about stright after. The thing is she kept putting up pictures of him on facebook and instagram! Blocked her on facebook but I keep finding my self check her instagram. Am sure this guy is a nice chap and all, but he's is worlds away from me, and it really seems that my ex has gone for some one who does in my eye not suit her one bit.

 

After months of arguments, bitterness, and harsh words been said. She contacts me the other day. After 7 months I have started seeing some one again. So I put a little picture up of her on instagram. That night my ex contacts me, slagging her, telling me shes very skinny etc.. then telling me her mother is sick, and its not looking good. I empathised with her, and reassured her everything will be ok.

 

We then talk a little, and she explains that, she is only with this fella because he was there for her when the break up happend and was really supportive! She is know in a relationship with him and goes on to explain that there is no chemistry between them and he is just an all around nice guy, she tells me all he talks about is cars, and he is just not me. I said if you dont love him, or hes more a friend would it not be better to move on, she told me it would not be fair to break up with him because it was not his fault he got caught up in this! She went on to saying " I 'm losing more control in my abilities to pretend your not there in a bid to fool my mind" and thats how she has been handling the break up.

 

Is she contacting me to see if i still have feeling for her, she keeps talking about the past and how amazing we where together, or is she just confused ! Every time i seem to get back on my feet she contacts me. She even wants to meet up even though both of us are in a relationship, and shes very intrested in knowing if my current lady friend knows about her. I really do still lover her and finding it very hard moving on even with all the drama

 

What do you make of all this muddled drama ?

 

If she was playing games for attention, then you don't need that kind of Princess with that colossal level of entitlement. Effectively, she was lying to you and being cruelly dishonest - how do you trust that kind of individual in the future?? Alternatively, she was cheating on you - either way, get rid!

Edited April 14, 2013 by Thunderchild

[MYCluciferase]

I'm surprised to find myself almost siding with CompleteFailure, even though I do believe that:

 

a) she was planning to cheat, if not actually cheating on you before your broke up, and

b) is now trying some weak manipulative things to seee if she can get you back.

 

It could be that she really crazy loves you, or it could be that you're a bit better than car guy, and she'd prefer to swap back for now.

 

The main thing that strikes me though is that you don't appear to have had any conversations about all this suspicious stuff she was pulling. It reads as though she did these 1-7 actions that made you very suspicious while you kept quiet, your jealousy building, until you finished things with her. Although unlikely, it is just possible that she was telling the truth about all of those things. What you two seem to lack is dialogue. If you were ever going to get back together with her, you need to establish a dialogue, for you to be able to say "All this recent behavior makes me think you have someone else that you're interested in..." or something along those lines, and for her to be able to reassure, you, or include you in her plans.

 

As for getting back together; to some degree it depends on how much you feel for your current girlfriend Vs your ex- and whether you truly believe that she has strong feelings for you.

 

If I was in your situation and I truly liked her, I'd finish with the current girlfriend without saying anything, and suggest that she finish with her current bf and both have some time single, collecting yourselves. You don't wan't to be both swinging from relationship to relationship like Tarzan going through the jungle.... It's so much better to decide someone is likely a good partner and put a big effort into making it work than to just casually date the best currently available partner even though not that great, always looking to upgrade...