venuss Posted March 30, 2013 Posted March 30, 2013 Here is the summary from my various posts here (because I am seriously considering contacting him tonight) .. I (29 yr old) was dating him (34 yr old) for 5 months, during this time I met him not more than 10 times and each time for not more than 2 hours, mostly for an hour. We used to speak a lot, for hours and hours and a lot of texts. I had no serious commitment from his side. In 5 months we had xmas, new year, VDay and I didn't get any presents, not even a flower! Even after asking.. Just a text message...on VDay ..cause he had meetings, I asked him to call me in-between, he didn't and sent a text next day wishing and asking how did it go for me...well guess how, waiting by the phone!! (I did not say that, just said I was busy with work too). It's not a deal breaker for me but if I have told him that it matters then shouldn't he be a lil more considerate? These are all the sour moments that I mentioned that kept me from giving more to this relationship we had, but he used to say the sweetest things in the world, and of all the men that I have dated he has been the best when it came to 'chemistry'. 2 weeks back he asked me 'again' to make out at his place, to which I refused, saying that 'only when I'm the one!' (commitment) he replied then 'there is no point in seeing each other then since relationship is not progressing', I replied , 'don't text me again, your intentions are not good' ..he replied..that 'you misunderstood and I m more than happy to disconnect from someone who can be so stupid and its my last text'..I replied..'that's just non-sense'. So my questions are ... 1. Did I insult him? 2. Am I the dumper?? because in another thread I have asked about how best can I contact him or give some sign and have been told that nobody here is going to give me tips for baiting him since I am the dumper.
Apolodor Posted March 30, 2013 Posted March 30, 2013 Your post is not very clear. Did you have sex with him 10 times in 5 months, is that what you are telling us? Anyway, it seems to me that you are right in expecting him to define more clearly his position in relation to you. It seems to me that you are friends with benefits with this guy, despite how you might be feeling. It is also hard to comprehend how he did not make any effort to send you a bunch of flower on Vday. I can only assume that he basically does not care much about you. You'd be much better off moving on if you want to avoid a lot of pain and hurting in the future.
Author venuss Posted March 30, 2013 Author Posted March 30, 2013 Your post is not very clear. Did you have sex with him 10 times in 5 months, is that what you are telling us? Anyway, it seems to me that you are right in expecting him to define more clearly his position in relation to you. It seems to me that you are friends with benefits with this guy, despite how you might be feeling. It is also hard to comprehend how he did not make any effort to send you a bunch of flower on Vday. I can only assume that he basically does not care much about you. You'd be much better off moving on if you want to avoid a lot of pain and hurting in the future. Thanks. I did not have sex with him. I met him = coffee/lunch...he wanted to have sex but I always thought that if we did do that and he leaves I will be in so much more pain and feel betrayed than I will be if we part ways now. Relationship for him was going nowhere because there was no sex and for me it was going nowhere because there was no commitment. Before all this we were friends for 4 years and used to meet/speak once in a month or so.
lissa90 Posted March 30, 2013 Posted March 30, 2013 (edited) What is the point in contacting him? He wants sex and you want commitment. You'll only get hurt as he doesn't seem (from what I gather) to want a relationship. You saw each other 10 times in 5 months...that just doesn't sound right, that's barely a relationship and averages out to twice a month. Were you long distance? The guy sounds like he is out for what he can get....sex. And since you aren't offering it up, he find it somewhere else. Sounds harsh, but lady, you deserve someone who is going to treat you like you deserve. He doesn't sound like that guy. Edited March 30, 2013 by lissa90 2
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