my story, kinda sad and a little depressing, but i'd appreciate a comment

[effee]

So, here goes, I caught my ex 2 timing me about 3 weeks ago, she was holding hands with her ex bf in the bus, (so she told me, but i doubt they even broke up). and i coincidentally took the same bus..The next 24 hours were a blur of shouting on the phone, text messages being sent and such. ( plus me getting so drunk that i couldn't walk straight the next afternoon)

 

I still remember, what I said 14 days ago, "how could you do this to me", "Everything you told me was a lie" and stuff along that lines.. She explained herself, but I found out that her explanation were so full of lies that it made me sick hearing it..After finding out she lied to me even after the breakup, we cut off communication completely. (we were still talking and agreed to be friends after the break) So it wasn't a very clean break and there were certain things left unsaid.

 

I kept her messages, all 40 of them containing her explanations for a week, till I decided it was time to move on, and so I deleted them. However I still kept her picture in my phone.

 

I could feel myself getting over her, I started to think less of her, and was getting by okay.. Then, I saw her again at work, my heart jumped ( she works in the same place) I felt all the old feelings coming back to me, and I wanted it again so bad, it was like a drug.

 

The stories then came in, her colleagues are telling me that her bf sends her to work everyday, and that they see him, sitting down with her in a corner close to each other..I don't know what I should do, part of me just wants to beat the sucker up, but my brain is telling me, what good will it do? She's not going to come back to me. It hurts, ALOT, to hear that she's with another guy right in our workplace(airport) and with such close proximity to myself.. but hopefully, even if I see him, I won't make any rash decisions, unless he intiaties it..I hope my rational side will prevail. But its so painful to hear that she's at our workplace with her boyfriend,even though i haven't met him personally since the day i found out she's been 2 timing....

 

I just want out of this pain.

 

Its really hard, 3 weeks and there hasnt been a day where I don't torture myself with thoughts of her, like a scab i suppose, hurts but you can't stop picking at it, thats what I'd liken it to. She doesn't even KNOW what I'm going through, if she only knew.. that I tear myself apart every night when I'm alone, and I'm thinking about the happy times we were together, pondering what I did wrong, Why she had to 2 time me, and somehow, I feel that its MY fault, that I didn't love her enough. Every night, I pick up my phone, meaning to text or call her, but I don't, I just cant bear to get hurt again by her lies, but something inside of me just wants to hear her voice again..

 

 

Today, I saw her again in our office, she walked in, and I straightaway got up to leave, man..I was dying inside, I guess some of you know the feeling, It took EVERYTHING inside of me to resist starting a conversation with her again, It could have been so easy, she was right beside me.. But I didn't, and now I'm glad I did, everytime I see her, I just want to speak to her, but something inside me holds me back, just barely enough..and in someway I'm thankful..What she said that day I would never forget (f off, i never loved you)

 

The people here have been very supportive, I really take comfort in your words and comments, this is a place where i can find solace from the tears that come and the feelings that build up inside of me..thank you people really thank you so much.

 

 

Well, hopefully this feeling will pass..as it should pass..Time heals all wounds, no matter how deep (hopefully) So, the next time, you see your ex bf/gf, your ex-fiance, your ex-spouse, and you're dying inside to hold them, to get back to old times, think again, my ex never loved me, but she faked it all the while, I have enough dignity and self-respect not to go back to that kind of lying, deceiving, sly character and get hurt again. Hold your head high, look forward, and keep walking. Put a smile on your face, even though its hard, and keep holding your head up high, because in the end, no matter how badly you've been hurt, its never the end, love will find you again and another person will come along eventually, and you'll be happy. Really happy.

[midori]

It's going to take time, that's all there is to it I'm afraid. Bear in mind that this girl lied to you, to suit her own purposes. She lied to you about what was going on when you were together, and she continued to lie after the fact. Some people find all kinds of ways to justify their deceitful actions, but just because she may seem calm about everything, and happy with her boyfriend, doesn't mean that it was right, or that it won't come back to haunt her.

 

Don't be angry with the boyfriend. He may well be just as duped as you were. Be angry with her, and continue to have nothing to do with her. Make new friends at work (but don't date them!). If you can get another job elsewhere you might consider trying to do that.

 

I know how hard it is to have to be civil to someone whom you know has deliberately lied to you. But your goal shouldn't be to have any effect on her -- her problems are her problems and her chickens will come home to roost soon enough. Your goal should be to move on. She is far beneath you. She uses people. You're lucky she went off with the other guy, she did you a favor by sparing you and stopping you from wasting your time on a liar.

[TZ]

effee,

 

You said "What she said that day I would never forget (f off, i never loved you)".

 

I think it's pretty insensitive of her to have said that. That alone, in my books, would make me not want to call/write/see the other party. NO MATTER WHAT. Unless she comes back and regrets what she said (because she realizes it was a bad thing to say to the person you're with--something a normal, caring, sensitive person would know/feel), then she's no good for you. If she cared about your feelings, she wouldn't have said that, or at least should have apologized for it. Truly crass, totally uncouth, totally uncalled for. You're too god for her! Grieve and move on...