5 Days NC - EX Just Contacted Me Ugh

[Compromize]

5 Days NC and ex-gf just contacted me to tell me that she was sorry she couldn't provide me the future and little things I wanted and that they are not trivial, that they are who I am and what I want but that ended the text by saying I always provided her with those things and she was sorry it wasn't the same with her. All I really wanted was a real future together that included living together and involving our kids but she wouldn't/couldn't give that to me.

 

Thought I would get the "I love you" as well but nope. I think she is just pushing the blame of the BU my direction with this text as I gave her what she wanted but she didn't give me what I wanted so it is really all my fault. Like wanting a future together is something to compromise on?

 

So not responding. Delete!

[Sososad]

Me and my friend were both dumped recently

He got the I love you .. I got the I don't love you anymore

And to be honest I think mine is better ..

If they tell you they love u you can sometimes cling to that.

Especially when thinking clearly ain't easy.

It looks like she's shifting the blame your doing

Right not responding I know how these texts can ruin your progress

Delete straight away I find helps ..

But hey what would I know

Hope ur ok!

[Compromize]

Thanks Sososad. Just got more texts and this was the "I love you, you are the man of my dreams, kills me and hurts me that I was not providing you enough and I just want you to be happy like you made me happy, sorry I wasn't able to provide you those things and I do not want to hold you back or make you compromise more than you already have, kills me inside that I have, want you to experience the amazing feeling of someone providing you what you have provided me".

 

This is killing me. I want to respond but have not idea if I should or what I would say or should I say anything at all? Does anyone see this as a positive sign in any way? Need some guidance from the real people here and not let my heart guide my actions but I want to tell her that she did provide me the little things, it was the lack of a future living together with our kids that was the biggest compromise for me. Help!!

[Thunderchild]

Thanks Sososad. Just got more texts and this was the "I love you, you are the man of my dreams, kills me and hurts me that I was not providing you enough and I just want you to be happy like you made me happy, sorry I wasn't able to provide you those things and I do not want to hold you back or make you compromise more than you already have, kills me inside that I have, want you to experience the amazing feeling of someone providing you what you have provided me".

 

This is killing me. I want to respond but have not idea if I should or what I would say or should I say anything at all? Does anyone see this as a positive sign in any way? Need some guidance from the real people here and not let my heart guide my actions but I want to tell her that she did provide me the little things, it was the lack of a future living together with our kids that was the biggest compromise for me. Help!!

 

Here's the acid test - is she at your door begging for another chance??

 

If 'Yes' - decide for yourself how to proceed.

 

If 'No' - treat it as breadcrumbs until the 'Yes' situation arrives.

 

Simples!!

[Compromize]

Thunderchild - Point taken. She is probably just trying to justify to herself through me why she left me. Damn this sucks. Here is the true test of NC. Thanks man for your insight. Not responding.

[Minneloa]

I agree with Thunderchild. Plus, I went back and read your other thread for context, and there has been a lot of previous back-and-forth in the relationship. Given your tumultuous history, I would ignore these texts and stay the NC course.

[Lost Fish]

Here's the acid test - is she at your door begging for another chance??

 

If 'Yes' - decide for yourself how to proceed.

 

If 'No' - treat it as breadcrumbs until the 'Yes' situation arrives.

 

Simples!!

 

Thanks Sososad. Just got more texts and this was the "I love you, you are the man of my dreams, kills me and hurts me that I was not providing you enough and I just want you to be happy like you made me happy, sorry I wasn't able to provide you those things and I do not want to hold you back or make you compromise more than you already have, kills me inside that I have, want you to experience the amazing feeling of someone providing you what you have provided me".

 

This is killing me. I want to respond but have not idea if I should or what I would say or should I say anything at all? Does anyone see this as a positive sign in any way? Need some guidance from the real people here and not let my heart guide my actions but I want to tell her that she did provide me the little things, it was the lack of a future living together with our kids that was the biggest compromise for me. Help!!

 

Dude. I would be extremely pissed off to get a text like that. She is literally stomping on your heart and your healing and showing ZERO care about you by sending this text.

 

She is literally both giving you hope and taking it away at the same time. Do you realize how selfish this is? I know she doesn't. But honestly, I would be tempted to bite her head off - which also is unhealthy and is an emotional response - which is ALL she is looking for. She is literally testing the line to see if her hooks are still in you to validate some selfish BS to herself (probably that she's finally starting to feel lonely and instead of dealing with it in a healthy way she is doing this to you).

 

It's completely selfish and you have already shown you are the better man here.

 

If you reply you will lose all the power you have found in yourself.

 

If you can make it through today without answering her at all, then you have truly done something great for yourself. Hell, I'd even reward myself. Go out to dinner with a buddy or two or something.

 

Be strong Compromize. You got this brother.

[Compromize]

Thank you Gentlemen for the kind words of encouragement and the slap of reality that I need to keep my head on straight.

 

Dude. I would be extremely pissed off to get a text like that. She is literally stomping on your heart and your healing and showing ZERO care about you by sending this text.

 

 

 

She is literally both giving you hope and taking it away at the same time. Do you realize how selfish this is? I know she doesn't. But honestly, I would be tempted to bite her head off - which also is unhealthy and is an emotional response - which is ALL she is looking for. She is literally testing the line to see if her hooks are still in you to validate some selfish BS to herself (probably that she's finally starting to feel lonely and instead of dealing with it in a healthy way she is doing this to you).

 

It's completely selfish and you have already shown you are the better man here.

 

If you reply you will lose all the power you have found in yourself.

 

If you can make it through today without answering her at all, then you have truly done something great for yourself. Hell, I'd even reward myself. Go out to dinner with a buddy or two or something.

 

Be strong Compromize. You got this brother.

 

Thanks brother for helping me see this sh%& for what it is. More petty breadcrumbs and a hook and line bit.

 

I really had/have the strong urge to tell her "thank you for looking out for me, for what I really want and deserve and that's why you are doing this, for me so you won't hold me back and so I can experience the same fulfillment that you said I gave you. So I won't have to compromise or wait anymore. To find someone better for me that can make me happy. If you felt about me half of what I feel for you those words would turn to acid in your mouth and you would realize how false and painful and bitter this sh%$ is to hear. After all that I have done, said, gave you, loved you. Action. Not more words"

 

I haven't said anything though and delete, delete, delete. Damn some women enjoy sticking the knife in and twisting it ever so slowly so you actually get used to it being there and then, damn there it goes again another quarter turn.

 

Did an intense arms push/pull workout with 40 min cardio following and feel pumped and better. Can't do much tonight as I have to work early and pack up my kids and I for a weekend out of town but I am having a drink and kick back for a few.

 

Stay NC and stay strong.