warmsaki Posted March 6, 2013 Share Posted March 6, 2013 OK BOTTOM LINE. i have been with a girl for maybe 2 years ... and she wont initiate sex. now - i have scanned thorough forums etc , and read a LOT of people saying 'maybe shes submissive' 'timid' ...and this is true, she has self confidence issues , she doesnt like her body no matter how much i tell her i LOVE IT ... she covers herself up at every oppertunity ..and i mean EVERY oppertunity but during sex she doesnt seem to mind at all ... SO im kinda ok with that... BUT , theres something thats potentially a deal breaker for me too .. she wont give me head ... iv damn near stuffed that bad boy into her mouth and she just wont have it!... i give her oral EVERYTIME we have sex... iv mentioned it to her , weve had heated conversations where im like 'ok wtf' ...and at first she said 'i dont like what comes out of it' - i.e urine ...then after a while she said 'she's embarrassed that she wont be able to do it properly'...then she threw in 'my teeth are too big' ..now she does have a bit of an overbite ...well quite a lot of an overbite ... she says she hasnt ever done it before ...SO iv gradually told her things like 'in a nut shell -you dont have to be like a porn star ..us guys will go wild at you even putting it in your mouth' ... ya know what i mean?? ANYWAY- weve reached a deal ... i said id get some flavoured condoms if it would help .. and she AGREED! .. but now my problem is ... im scared to go get them ... get the box out ...ask her to pick a flavour ... only for her to reject me!!!... my questions are: 1. is it atleast pretty normal, or ok for a girl to be submissive in bed and only rarely say 'get your kit off' -and basically not engage me first sexually... how many of you consider that something you could live with?- once she's 'in the zone' she takes control somewhat ,talks dirty (sometimes filthy), asks to get ontop etc. 2. this girl (for the reason above) has stated that she will not give me head, is that so bizarre that i should end my relationship? .. or with this new 'flavoured condom deal' - (assuming she goes ahead with it) should i just cut my losses and let that be the only head i potentially ever get? 3. anal sex - as youve probably figured out -theres NO way she'd let me do that - BUT, iv got it into my head that she MUST do that if im to marry her ... id feel like if i cant have ALL holes ...then im missing out ... or am i in the minority thinking that? anyway thanks for the advice in advance pholks. Link to post Share on other sites
Love4Pain Posted March 6, 2013 Share Posted March 6, 2013 You can't force a girl to do something she doesn't want to do, or else she's going to resent you latter on. After a previous bf kept hounding me to do anal I pretty much felt like he forced me to do something I didn't want to do and it was one of the reasons I broke up with him. How long have you been with her? I mean, not all girls are going to want to do everything, and maybe she has a low sex drive...in which case you are going to have to be the one to put her in the mood for her to want to have sex. Don't force her into anything. BJ's are pretty common, but you know it's not urine that comes out....its sperm..lol. Just go by the flavored ones then and don't pressure her too much about it, you have to make her feel comfortable but ultimately....it will be her choice. Personally I wouldn't date a guy for very long if he told me we would never get married if i didn't do anal. Link to post Share on other sites
Author warmsaki Posted March 6, 2013 Author Share Posted March 6, 2013 well, i do DO everytime - i play her body like a finely tuned violin .. the problem i have is , THE HEAD... she wont do it :-( ... and its gotten to the point where even if im not a 'HEAD GUY' im kinda gauging how much she loves me and how much she is attracted to me by this ... surely if somebody loves you .. they'd just wanna get there mouth all over it- right? . Link to post Share on other sites
adelia Posted March 6, 2013 Share Posted March 6, 2013 Communication is the first and foremost important thing. If you're able to talk to her about how much you want to have her give you a BJ or let you "f" her ass that is a start. The problem arises when you can't open up to each other and you become less and less compatible. That's when resentment sets in and feelings of being unsatisfied. If she says she won't then you really do have to decide if it's a deal breaker. Is it something you can live without? It seems trivial to some but it may be very important to your happiness sexually Link to post Share on other sites
NoLeafClover Posted March 6, 2013 Share Posted March 6, 2013 (edited) OK BOTTOM LINE. i have been with a girl for maybe 2 years ... and she wont initiate sex. now - i have scanned thorough forums etc , and read a LOT of people saying 'maybe shes submissive' 'timid' ...and this is true, she has self confidence issues , she doesnt like her body no matter how much i tell her i LOVE IT ... she covers herself up at every oppertunity ..and i mean EVERY oppertunity but during sex she doesnt seem to mind at all ... SO im kinda ok with that... BUT , theres something thats potentially a deal breaker for me too .. she wont give me head ... iv damn near stuffed that bad boy into her mouth and she just wont have it!... i give her oral EVERYTIME we have sex... iv mentioned it to her , weve had heated conversations where im like 'ok wtf' ...and at first she said 'i dont like what comes out of it' - i.e urine ...then after a while she said 'she's embarrassed that she wont be able to do it properly'...then she threw in 'my teeth are too big' ..now she does have a bit of an overbite ...well quite a lot of an overbite ... she says she hasnt ever done it before ...SO iv gradually told her things like 'in a nut shell -you dont have to be like a porn star ..us guys will go wild at you even putting it in your mouth' ... ya know what i mean?? ANYWAY- weve reached a deal ... i said id get some flavoured condoms if it would help .. and she AGREED! .. but now my problem is ... im scared to go get them ... get the box out ...ask her to pick a flavour ... only for her to reject me!!!... my questions are: 1. is it atleast pretty normal, or ok for a girl to be submissive in bed and only rarely say 'get your kit off' -and basically not engage me first sexually... how many of you consider that something you could live with?- once she's 'in the zone' she takes control somewhat ,talks dirty (sometimes filthy), asks to get ontop etc. 2. this girl (for the reason above) has stated that she will not give me head, is that so bizarre that i should end my relationship? .. or with this new 'flavoured condom deal' - (assuming she goes ahead with it) should i just cut my losses and let that be the only head i potentially ever get? 3. anal sex - as youve probably figured out -theres NO way she'd let me do that - BUT, iv got it into my head that she MUST do that if im to marry her ... id feel like if i cant have ALL holes ...then im missing out ... or am i in the minority thinking that? anyway thanks for the advice in advance pholks. My ex ex was a virgin when I met her and she too never went down on me though she loved sex when we started doing it. Actually my ex never even gave me a handjob for more than a minute let alone a bj. If you think you have it worse, try sleeping with a virgin gf in the same bad for 5 months straight without any type of sexual activity...and she was 22 and I was 24 at the time. If you love this girl don't let it be a deal breaker man. If you like going down then keep doing what you do. I for instance don't like going down at all and I guess you could say the same thing you're saying for the girl goes for me too. FORGET about the backdoor for a while. This is not something a lot of women do. I don't even find it as enjoyable anymore to be honest. I like the real thing where I don't have to worry about lubing it all the time. Like I said, if this is really what bothers you to where you'd rather be without her then with her...then perhaps this is not the girl you are looking for long term but not because she is not going down on you. It's probably because of something else you haven't figured out yet. I'd take my perfect soul-mate over head any-day Edited March 6, 2013 by NoLeafClover Link to post Share on other sites
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