texanpete22 Posted March 4, 2013 Share Posted March 4, 2013 My ex-girlfriend and I were dating for a year and a half. Out of the blue she broke up with my on Friday. She's 21 about to graduate from from Texas A&M and I'm also 21, but living with my parents and going to community college. We've had conversation about possible getting her a ring sometime around graduation in a few months. She struggles with depression and takes medication. We were in an awesome relationship. So Thursday night she broke up with me at her apartment. I didn't scream or yell, we were just both very sad. We spent all night together, slept together, woke up the next morning and we continued being very sad and we we're both crying, about mid-afternoon we parted ways and I went home. Her reasons for breaking up were so many random things. I was her first person she fell in love with and I was the first and only person she had sex with. Before dating me she didn't feel like she was worth anything or beautiful, but now she feels beautiful because of me and just want to be single for a bit. She been really depressed lately and felt like she can't take care of herself, so she can't take care of a boyfriend either and its not really for to me. She told me she had been ignoring my calls lately. I live an hour away from her and she said with her depression she needs someone to hold her every night. She said shes been thinking about this for 3 months, but she hasn't even hinted at any of this been now. During the whole break up we were spooning together and kissing and saying we love each other. She said she doesn't want to be with anybody else she just needs so time to figure herself out. So I feel like her reasons we're all over the place and I do not know where we really stand. Since I left Friday I haven't contacted her. Sunday morning she texted me this... I hope you are doing okay. I hate myself for causing you so much pain, I never ever want to hurt you like that. I know I said we could see each other this week but I think that would be too soon and too painful for the both of us. Lets talk when you get back from your trip. I hope you have a great time. I love you. (I'm going on a trip to Montana next week, so when I come back it will be 2 and a half weeks since the BU.) I didn't respond back yet. So now what.. is that text a breadcrumb, its hard to tell? Please help what do I do now should I respond idk. Ask me for more details about anything if you need my info... Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted March 5, 2013 Share Posted March 5, 2013 I hope you are doing okay. I hate myself for causing you so much pain, I never ever want to hurt you like that. I know I said we could see each other this week but I think that would be too soon and too painful for the both of us. Lets talk when you get back from your trip. I hope you have a great time. I love you. This is what you reply: I have to accept your reasons for breaking up. I don't like it, but it seems I have no choice. I agree seeing each other this week is too soon. I also think seeing each other when I get back, will be "too soon". I think the best thing would be to go complete No Contact and agree to part amicably. Let's leave it here, and you go way, I will go mine. I wish you well. Goodbye." Then, block her number, and delete it from your phone. Read the No Contact guide in my signature (updated 2013,) and absorb it through your pores. Read the remainder of the thread too. Loads of posters and members telling you why breaking NC is a really, really bad idea. Link to post Share on other sites
Author texanpete22 Posted March 5, 2013 Author Share Posted March 5, 2013 I made some changes to your recommended response i wanted to make it more open ended on her part, but still tough love on my part. what do you think? is this sending the wrong message? I have to accept your reasons for breaking up. I don't like it, but it seems I have no choice. I agree seeing each other this week is too soon. I also think seeing each other when I get back, might be too soon. I think the best thing for me is to go completely no contact. I'm not going to take your car. Lets just leave it here, you go your way, I will go mine. It's tough but unless something changes this is the only way. I wish you well. Goodbye Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted March 5, 2013 Share Posted March 5, 2013 (edited) No. If you're happy, and it says what you believe it should and it gets your message across, then be happy with it. But I would add a request to not get in touch and stay No Contact. Which in all likelihood she will ignore.... But I'd do it anyway. Good Luck, be well, keep on keeping on... Block, delete and deny..... let us know how it goes. Edit to add: Do NOT leave it 'open ended' for her. That's not what No Contact is about. No Contact is final. And leaving it open ended is unfair. It's 'pussy-footing. No Contact is no nonsense. It's over. Make it so. Edited March 5, 2013 by TaraMaiden Link to post Share on other sites
Author texanpete22 Posted March 5, 2013 Author Share Posted March 5, 2013 Good advice this is really helping I just want to make sure the wording is just right because it seems like so many people end up texting the wrong thing and then they seek advice afterwards how this.. I have to accept your reasons for breaking up. I don't like it, but it seems I have no choice in the matter. I agree seeing each other this week is too soon. I also think seeing each other when I get back, will be too soon. I think the best thing is to go completely no contact. I request that you do not get in touch with me or contact me, this is what you expressed that you wanted anyways. I'm not going to take your car. Lets just leave it here, you go your way, I will go mine. It's tough but you expressed there was no working it out. This is the only way. I wish you well. Goodbye 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author texanpete22 Posted March 5, 2013 Author Share Posted March 5, 2013 I sent it. I feel really nervous, my hearts racing.. I want her to respond, this feels counterproductive.. Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted March 5, 2013 Share Posted March 5, 2013 No... You do NOT want her to respond...... You do NOT want her to respond...... You do NOT want her to respond...... You do NOT want her to respond...... You do NOT want her to respond...... You do NOT want her to respond...... You do NOT want her to respond...... You do NOT want her to respond...... Look into my eyes....... You're right. It IS counter-productive. And sadly, you will probably get your "wish". She WILL reply. But THAT is when you must resist ALL and EVERY temptation to reply. Fix your focus on the trip. Plan, and enjoy. This is the first - and most important - step towards a new chapter. Cold-turkey, heart-rehab. Link to post Share on other sites
drpepper1886 Posted March 5, 2013 Share Posted March 5, 2013 I sent it. I feel really nervous, my hearts racing.. I want her to respond, this feels counterproductive.. I sent something similar over 5 months ago. She never contacted me back. Similar excuses, depression and needing to figure herself out. Link to post Share on other sites
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