RiceaRoni Posted February 28, 2013 Share Posted February 28, 2013 Every day that goes by I feel like my ex bf falls more in love with his new girlfriend. My hopes for him coming back are dwindling and it's very painful. I've been able to keep NC, but I can't stop thinking about him. I want to keep hoping his new relationship is a rebound, but I don't think it is anymore. (They have been together 4 months already) how can I cope? Some days I feel fine and think of all the bad things that happened and some days I have relapses and feel down to the point where I'm almost tempted to call him... Any advice? Is me doing NC a good thing? In order to get him back I should keep some sort of communication right? But then again I'd feel like I'd be disrespectful to his new RS Link to post Share on other sites
fixing Posted February 28, 2013 Share Posted February 28, 2013 100% keep no contact. He is in a new relationship. Your better than this. Dont feed his ego by showing your still into him, especially since he has a new gf now. It could be a rebound, but seriously who cares? He is not worthy of you or any more of your time and thoughts. Keep up the no contact and fill your time with things you love doing. Life is unpredictable, you never know what the future holds, but for you, right now, is to move forward with your life. STOP living in the past honey, that ****ty ship has sailed, so let it go. It will probably hit an iceberg anyways Your doing great 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Coping Vortex Posted February 28, 2013 Share Posted February 28, 2013 Every day that goes by I feel like my ex bf falls more in love with his new girlfriend. My hopes for him coming back are dwindling and it's very painful. I've been able to keep NC, but I can't stop thinking about him. I want to keep hoping his new relationship is a rebound, but I don't think it is anymore. (They have been together 4 months already) how can I cope? Some days I feel fine and think of all the bad things that happened and some days I have relapses and feel down to the point where I'm almost tempted to call him... Any advice? Is me doing NC a good thing? In order to get him back I should keep some sort of communication right? But then again I'd feel like I'd be disrespectful to his new RS I'm going through the same thing. everyday that goes by she gets more and more close to him. Now they are basically living together. The last time we had contact she said she was not giving up on us and that relationship was not as tight as I think it is and they don't spend that much time together. Except she is in his bed most nights. So I hear you we on this side just have to take it. Nothing we can do but look forward and move on. Maybe one day one of us will get a surprise. You never know. I will never count on it but i guess anything is possible. So if that works for you for now, use it, and put that advice in your back pocket and move forward. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author RiceaRoni Posted February 28, 2013 Author Share Posted February 28, 2013 Thanks guys....I've always been confused because I've tried reading other methods of getting an ex back and some day keep NC and others say try and be the ex's friend so they can come back to you, but it hurts too much for me to try and be his friend especially now because he has a new girlfriend who he treats and loves more than he did me. I know this break was hard on him too and for a while he regretted and I thought he'd come back, but no. He stuck with her because he almost lost her I guess. She almost broke up with him because she suspected he still had feelings for me... Link to post Share on other sites
fixing Posted February 28, 2013 Share Posted February 28, 2013 Thanks guys....I've always been confused because I've tried reading other methods of getting an ex back and some day keep NC and others say try and be the ex's friend so they can come back to you, but it hurts too much for me to try and be his friend especially now because he has a new girlfriend who he treats and loves more than he did me. I know this break was hard on him too and for a while he regretted and I thought he'd come back, but no. He stuck with her because he almost lost her I guess. She almost broke up with him because she suspected he still had feelings for me... This honey. Seriously, this fact alone must make you realise he isnt worthy of you. And, forget about 'way, guides' on getting an ex back. They're mostly bullsh it' Love has no rules, if it is meant to be, it will be, but for you, just continue NC. Seriously, because you will look back on all this is 5 months and think 'omfg, i just wasted months of my life pining on some douche when i could have met someone new, made new friends, had fun etc' You have to start to respect yourself. Your chasing someone who has moved on. Today, is your new start on making your life amazing, without him x 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author RiceaRoni Posted February 28, 2013 Author Share Posted February 28, 2013 I'm going through the same thing. everyday that goes by she gets more and more close to him. Now they are basically living together. The last time we had contact she said she was not giving up on us and that relationship was not as tight as I think it is and they don't spend that much time together. Except she is in his bed most nights. So I hear you we on this side just have to take it. Nothing we can do but look forward and move on. Maybe one day one of us will get a surprise. You never know. I will never count on it but i guess anything is possible. So if that works for you for now, use it, and put that advice in your back pocket and move forward. It's kind of good to know I'm not alone I really enjoy LS it builds up my confidence and sometimes makes me realize "why do I still care about him? After what he's done?" It's also great because I don't get the urge to check twitter or call. Anyways haha In my opinion I mean she gave up on you already the moment she got with him. So her saying that doesn't make sense to me...and she's in his bed most nights, but the relationship is not as tight for them? I don't really understand her motives and I'm pretty new at this relationship stuff, but if she doesn't want to give up on you guys being together I would think she would be with you now or at least be making the efforts to work on things. Link to post Share on other sites
Own Worst Enemy Posted February 28, 2013 Share Posted February 28, 2013 Thanks guys....I've always been confused because I've tried reading other methods of getting an ex back and some day keep NC and others say try and be the ex's friend so they can come back to you, but it hurts too much for me to try and be his friend especially now because he has a new girlfriend who he treats and loves more than he did me. I know this break was hard on him too and for a while he regretted and I thought he'd come back, but no. He stuck with her because he almost lost her I guess. She almost broke up with him because she suspected he still had feelings for me... The only rule those guides stick to is how to try and get money out of you, whether it's pay per click advertising or actually charging you or whatever. If he doesn't want to come back, no amount of propaganda will make him come back. I feel very sorry for you. The thought of my ex with someone else makes me want to vomit blood. But please don't pin your hopes on those things. Pin your hopes on meeting someone a million times better instead, however impossible that feels right now. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author RiceaRoni Posted February 28, 2013 Author Share Posted February 28, 2013 It is a terrible feeling to know he's with someone else...it's sickening to have to witness as well. He's only 16 going on 17 while I am 18 and he's with a girl who's younger than him by almost 2 years. I know he still has much growing up to do, but it's awful having to go by the school he goes to (I help teach a dance class) and see him or even worse see him and his new gf close with one another. She'll mock me with a smile of hers and when he's alone without her I cath him looking at times. But I just ignore and do what I can to keep my mind off of him.. I was told that when I stopped begging and totally ignoring him he became upset and lashed out at me over twitter and also stated he was really hurt that I was ignoring him, but I had no other choice. I had tried to fight for us to be together but he pushed me away so I had to stop taking notice in him to help heal myself. Trust me I am a million times better than I was a couple of months earlier. Almost to the point where I feel numb, but I still have those moments where I stop and think and then relapse Link to post Share on other sites
Coping Vortex Posted February 28, 2013 Share Posted February 28, 2013 It's kind of good to know I'm not alone I really enjoy LS it builds up my confidence and sometimes makes me realize "why do I still care about him? After what he's done?" It's also great because I don't get the urge to check twitter or call. Anyways haha In my opinion I mean she gave up on you already the moment she got with him. So her saying that doesn't make sense to me...and she's in his bed most nights, but the relationship is not as tight for them? I don't really understand her motives and I'm pretty new at this relationship stuff, but if she doesn't want to give up on you guys being together I would think she would be with you now or at least be making the efforts to work on things. To read through the lines of what my ex is saying. She can't let go totally. Because her new guy is not fulfilling all of her needs that she got filled with me. So it's really just her attempt at stringing me along. But she is doing a poor job of it. If she really wanted to string me along she would give me more attention to keep me on the hook. Going NC isn't stringing someone along so what she says makes even less sense. I think she feels if something happens to that relationship she will be on my door step. We had a talk since we had BU. so she knows now the issue we had that broke us up won't be there. But she is already too far Into this rebound relationship to turn back now. So she knows she could work it out with me if it doesn't work out with him. If I even want to by then. Clear as mud? Lol. Link to post Share on other sites
Author RiceaRoni Posted February 28, 2013 Author Share Posted February 28, 2013 To read through the lines of what my ex is saying. She can't let go totally. Because her new guy is not fulfilling all of her needs that she got filled with me. So it's really just her attempt at stringing me along. But she is doing a poor job of it. If she really wanted to string me along she would give me more attention to keep me on the hook. Going NC isn't stringing someone along so what she says makes even less sense. I think she feels if something happens to that relationship she will be on my door step. We had a talk since we had BU. so she knows now the issue we had that broke us up won't be there. But she is already too far Into this rebound relationship to turn back now. So she knows she could work it out with me if it doesn't work out with him. If I even want to by then. Clear as mud? Lol. Wow yeah she isn't very good at stringing along haha, but It's good you know and aren't falling for it. I think it's silly how she knows she can work it out with you and yet stays with him..but I guess she doesn't want to look like the bad guy and leave him for you? That's kind of why I think it's bad when dumpers end relationships and then get with someone else so quickly..because they never took the time to be by themselves to see how life is without you. With being in a relationship so quickly they see that they messed up big time, but can't go back because they either don't want to seem like the bad guy and leave this new person or face the pain of two failed relationships. so they try hard to stay with the person they are with. I dunno just a thought Link to post Share on other sites
na49 Posted February 28, 2013 Share Posted February 28, 2013 You can only push him closer to her by contacting him. You contact him, he tells his new gf, they talk about how ridiculous you're being and he loves that she has his back in all of this. Do you really think when his new gf hears you're talking to him still she's going to be okay with that? NOPE! So how does that help you get him back? He needs to have the epiphany that life sucks without you in it. You can't tell him anything to persuade him otherwise. I know how you feel though. When the fact that they aren't coming back becomes more and more real, it hurts more and more. We almost go back into disbelief and still think "Yeah well they'll be back soon" when they won't. They're gone. They've been gone. and it's better to just assume they are happy without us. Now we have to become happy without them. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Coping Vortex Posted March 5, 2013 Share Posted March 5, 2013 Wow yeah she isn't very good at stringing along haha, but It's good you know and aren't falling for it. I think it's silly how she knows she can work it out with you and yet stays with him..but I guess she doesn't want to look like the bad guy and leave him for you? That's kind of why I think it's bad when dumpers end relationships and then get with someone else so quickly..because they never took the time to be by themselves to see how life is without you. With being in a relationship so quickly they see that they messed up big time, but can't go back because they either don't want to seem like the bad guy and leave this new person or face the pain of two failed relationships. so they try hard to stay with the person they are with. I dunno just a thought Exactly!!!!!!! She knows she could be happy with me. We had no falling out of love when we BU it had to do with other issues not how we felt about each other. In fact she claimed that she needed to be with this guy to force herself to get over me. Because she thought I would never move in with her. That was the issue. But We talked about it recently that yes I would have moved in with her but I had some issues I needed to discuss that we never got the chance to discuss. It was easy to work out but she said she wished she knew this before she met him. But you are right she is trying hard to make it work with him. I guess she feels like she owes it to him? She told me over and over when we had some LC that the passion she had for me is not the same in this relationship. That the sex was way better with me. That I had complimented her much more than he does. That our relationship was much more intense. But she is too far into this relationship to look back now. Except for popping up once in awhile to say she is not giving up on us. But we have been NC for a over a week now. So I am so confused as to why she says this stuff but never backs it up with any evidence that I am the one she really wants. I have accepted its all nonsense. But I just don't understand why women can't just be honest with themselves and with us men. Link to post Share on other sites
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