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I cheated on my ex and went to see her overseas and slept with her and she found out

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Old 23rd April 2004, 4:07 AM   #1
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I cheated on my ex and went to see her overseas and slept with her and she found out

Hi All,

I have just done the most lowest and horrible thing in my life that I have totally lost hope in myself. I am not a bad person but I cheated on my girlfriend.

This is 2 weeks ago, before I left for Sydney to see my girlfriend, I slept with another woman. I have been with my girlfriend for 7 months and this would have been the 8th.

So I slept with this girl and then went to Sydney and slept with my girlfriend. I was feeling guilty the whole time but I did not tell my girlfriend because I did not want to lose her. I know my girlfriend.

The worst thing I did was I slept with her and then I met with her family and stayed with them in Sydney.

I was and am so much in love with my girl friend that I regret for what I have done. I have not been honest and I cheated on her. We were having a LDR and I can't believe that I actually did that. I never was this type of person.

So the girl whom I slept with, had known this friend of mine and my girlfriend. So the girl told that friend everything about me. So that friend told another friend of ours who then told my girlfriend yesterday. My girlfriend asked me if that was true and I denied it. I lied which I regret doing.

This morning I called her and then confessed that I did have an affair. My girlfriend does not want to see me again.

This the first time I made a mistake and I am suffering a lot. My girlfriend is suffering also for what I did. I called her again in the afternoon and told her that I am sorry and that it was a mistake. I know she will never ever trust me or forgive me and I can not either forgive myself for what I have done. I have totally lost hope in myself. I can't believe I did this and I was thinking through my penis.

I have become so low in the eye of the society and my girlfriend and her family. I can't forgive myself ever and I will suffer the rest of my life.

I would have committed suicide in the weekend but It would be unfair on her and she would suffer more so instead, I decided that I would suffer the rest of my life. I don't think I willl be the me again in future till I die.

I thing I know for sure, I am so much in Love with her and I care about her just the same as I used to. She means a lot to me and she made me so happy. And I ruined everything for her. I learnt a lot from her and everything was going great. I would be honored to get married to her; if not this life then the next life. She does not want to see me again.

I don't know what to do.
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Old 23rd April 2004, 6:17 AM   #2
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You are in a hot spot my friend. She has every reason on Earth not to want to see you again. I only hope for your sake that she didn't share your adventure to her parents... You can sweet talk the girl, but her parents trust... that's gonna be hard.

You didn't give us your age, that may be relevant...


I remeber a long time ago, I decided to break up with my bf (now he's my ex,but that's another story). It just wasn't working and I decided to leave the guy. Allow me to tell you that he had courted me like no other man has evercourted a woman. Flowers, letters, talks, surprise visits, lots and lots of talks etc etc. We were both living in the same city, so I guess it was a bit easier for him.

But tha main point is he really fought for me and I truly understood how important it was not only for him, but for me too to give us another chance. We've continued for another 2 and a half years and I am notsorry for caming back to him. Don't be afraid to use all of your resources, everything you've got to conquer this girl. Go and see her on week-ends, I don't know, just let her know and feel how importanat she is to you. Maybe, maybe she'll find it in her heart to forgive you.
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Old 23rd April 2004, 1:32 PM   #3
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Hmm.. dayum u sound mess'd up. But like they say.. what goes around comes around. I hope that you learned ur lesson.. cuz one thing i hate is Cheaters. But i feel that you're not a 'cheater' because I believe you when you said you've only done it once. And the fact that you feel extreme regret for it, shows that ur not like those others.

Ur situation is one of those tough ones. Girls are really emotionally... when they've bin wit someone for along tyme.. says she loves you.. they really mean that.. they're quiccer to develope an emotional attachment than most guys. So when you cheated on her.. she felt that bond break between you two.. and resulted in her feeln betrayed, un-loved, insulted..etc. These are one of tha hardest problems to fix, but in order for you to fix it really gonna have to want it.. and really mean it..which i'm sure u do.

Now that u feel sure u wouldnt mind feeln any more.. specially if it involves getting her bacc. I suggest that you try constantly to get in contact with her. I dont kno how old u r.. or if her parents kno bout wut happened.. but if dey do kno wut happened.. i suggest u go to her house.. ask to speak to her.. if dey wont allow u to.. i ask that u pour ur emotions out to dem.. lettn dem kno how u truly feel.. tell them that it wuz really wrong wut u did.. and that tha only person u care about is her. Try to reach out to her. Write a letter..put it in their mailbox.. address'd to ur gurlfriend.. and if necessary.. dont put a return address on it.. or put it in someone else name... but in tha letter let her kno its You. Record urself on tape.. and jus speak to tha mic as if she were there.. pour out ya feelnz to it.. and jus beg her bacc.. tell her u agree wit how she feels.. and tell her that ur miserable wit out her.

Theres many things u could do man.. but like i said.. those r one of tha toughest ones. Once a gurl feels betrayed.. that feeln they feel.. they wanna lose that feeln fast.. and usually b4 they leave that feeln.. dey withdraw themselves from alot of ppl.. into a deeper feeln of sadness..until it slowly fades away.

Talk to some of her friends..her close friends.. jus talk to dem.. get some input from dem.. n give sum.. they'll relay it onto her.

Tho i really dont like cheaters.. i still feel bad for you also.. so I really do wish tha best for you. But remember not to hurt yourself.. cuz tho u feel this strong connection towards her.. doesn't mean you should hurt urself for hurtn her. Lyfe iz precious.. you only live once... Livin lyfe comes wit a Cost.. and that Cost is tha fact that you will love..get hurt.. feel happiness... xperience depression.. all those feelns that r essential of living. Best of Lucc to you
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Old 23rd April 2004, 4:26 PM   #4
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Face some facts.

I don't want to be mean but you are in control of yourself (and your penis).
If you truly didn't want to cheat on your girlfriend, and especially since you type this
So I slept with this girl and then went to Sydney and slept with my girlfriend. I was feeling guilty the whole time but I did not tell my girlfriend because I did not want to lose her. I know my girlfriend.
you would NOT have cheated.

Try to see it from her point of view. Not only did you cheat, you didn't come clean when you saw her, and you also lied about it. You also made her susceptible to STDs. You broke the intimacy and trust in the relationship. Not something a lot of women can easily forgive or forget.

A long distance relationship is based on trust and the ability to be strong enough to keep your hands to yourself (and hands off you) no matter how horny you get.
I'm sorry to say it will be very hard to win her back and I don't think you should try. Instead, try to learn from this situation.

As for the suicide talk - don't be silly. I have had my heart broken many times - as have others on LS - and trust me it will get better. You at least realize you've made a mistake and now you are paying for it by not having your girlfriend. I think the best thing you can do is work on yourself and get self-control. Forgive yourself.

Some people are cut out for LDR and some aren't. Maybe you just realized that you aren't cut out for a LDR. That doesn't mean you are a bad person - it just means next time try to find someone a little closer.
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