bagotabagota Posted February 19, 2013 Share Posted February 19, 2013 Where to begin? Well, she’s gone. Gone from our relationship, gone from our house, gone from the country, but not gone from my broken heart. 2 months prior to leaving the country she moves in with our roommate’s (20 years older) ex-boyfriend. Those two months were the hardest two months of my life. Days of panic attack after panic attack. Sleepless nights and way too many cigarettes. No calls on Christmas or New Years. The closest thing I got to a breadcrumb was a ‘like’ on Facebook. Then she finally leaves and her new relationship comes out online. I cannot take it and decide to finally block her. No contact begins. It’s harder and stranger than I thought. Each day I wonder if I’m going to hear from her or not. Of course she contacts me. Twice. First to see why I blocked her. Then, the big one comes. A 5-hour marathon conversation over video Skype (had to unblock her on FB to do this.) She tells me how difficult everything has been since she left. How she couldn’t get out of bed, how sick she felt, how she knows everyone hates her. I guide her through it. She tells me how he has a temper worse than mine, how they’ve had four major arguments so far that have scared her to death. She tells me she’s having dreams of me, in particular a dream of me watching in disgust as he yells at her. I tell her that when I look at her Facebook page and see that she’s in a relationship with him, I just want to slit my wrists. She says she does too. I have “nothing to be jealous of in this relationship.” She tells me that she’s thinking of committing suicide and that everyone would understand why she would do it. I talk her out of it and the next day at church I say a prayer for her. She tells me it worked and that “her heart is back in it.” I don’t know if that means with Italy, with him or with me. I finally find out that means with him. A week later she tells me that she loves him and can’t believe I’m not over her. Oh, and they’re now engaged. I tell her that I have to block her again and do just that. She calls back only to make sure that neither I nor the roommate tell her new man the terrible things she said about him. The roommate messages him to “watch his heart” and they end up meeting up. They end up talking for hours, not so much about her though. He says he is just seeing what is happening with that situation. He asks, “What is she? 28 going on 17?” He then sends my roommate a text the next day asking if he can use her PayPal account to buy this thing he found on eBay that has a picture of a girl that “looks just like her.” Her, as in my roommate. Now I’m on the third day of the next issuing of no contact. I told her to contact me if she wants to talk about getting back together, but I can no longer be her emotional crutch whenever things are going sour with her new man. I told her she used me and then tossed me like a used tampon. That’s exactly how I feel. Link to post Share on other sites
Author bagotabagota Posted February 22, 2013 Author Share Posted February 22, 2013 Tomorrow marks one week of no contact. I think I'm gonna try to go a whole month before I contact her again. She hasn't been able to go more than two weeks since we broke up without contacting me. I'm just afraid I'll get another breadcrumb with no substance. Any advice is welcomed!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author bagotabagota Posted February 22, 2013 Author Share Posted February 22, 2013 Also, the roommate went over to his house this week and when they talked he asked her to still do her apple orchard near his house (they were planning this before they broke) and she said "I don't want to be there when she get back from abroad and have to see her" and he said "well, things change..." Link to post Share on other sites
dreamingoftigers Posted February 22, 2013 Share Posted February 22, 2013 Reread everything that this bizarre girl and her equally bizarre boyfriend dud and have done, and then ask yourself.....does any of this sound like she is responsible enough, as an adult, to Gage an intimate relationship with anyone at this point? Link to post Share on other sites
Author bagotabagota Posted February 22, 2013 Author Share Posted February 22, 2013 Yeah, she's totally weird I have to admit. I think part of the reason why she went and did this was to experience something else before she settles down for good. Prior to her leaving I was looking around to buy our first house and was planning to fly over to Italy to propose to her. I just bought a Toyota Corolla this week instead Link to post Share on other sites
Chi townD Posted February 22, 2013 Share Posted February 22, 2013 Of course she contacts me. Twice. First to see why I blocked her. Then, the big one comes. A 5-hour marathon conversation over video Skype (had to unblock her on FB to do this.) She tells me how difficult everything has been since she left. How she couldn’t get out of bed, how sick she felt, how she knows everyone hates her. I guide her through it. She tells me how he has a temper worse than mine, how they’ve had four major arguments so far that have scared her to death. She tells me she’s having dreams of me, in particular a dream of me watching in disgust as he yells at her. Everything in bold screams at me that the only thing she feels for you is guilt. She's trying to ease her own guilt with that skype marathon you had with her. Now, she's back and still with him.. Congrats! It worked! Dude, block her from everything and go completely dark on her. Big time NC. Link to post Share on other sites
Author bagotabagota Posted February 22, 2013 Author Share Posted February 22, 2013 Wow, good point. Hard to see that when all I hear is the good stuff I want to hear and ignore the bad. Yeah, that's totally guilt. I feel better about the NC now, thank you Link to post Share on other sites
Author bagotabagota Posted April 17, 2013 Author Share Posted April 17, 2013 Well, it's been over two months since I last heard from her. The last thing I said to her was "call me when you want to work things out." I guess that was enough to never hear from her again. I've done good with no contact. The bizarre love square is still happening, but mostly on my roommate's end with her ex. The trees came in and they started working on their apple orchard. That seemed to occur fairly drama free. Then a few weeks later, while working on some construction on his house, he sawed in to his arm with a circular saw. He had to be rushed to the hospital and my roommate was there to take care of him. She said last night that she's starting to realize that she's nothing but an ex to him. I told her that she needs to just sit down and have a conversation with him and just say "hey, it's ****ty. you're with someone I lived with for three years and was very close friends with. the two of you are hurting me and my close friend. it's not cool and you never say anything about it." Just an update. I'm still keeping my hand out of the picture and letting the chips fall where they may. Cross your fingers for me. Link to post Share on other sites
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