TheVSilent Posted February 10, 2013 Posted February 10, 2013 I don't want to fall into the same trap over and over again. Here is the story. I met a girl here in Austin TX, she was an emotionally damaged woman who never quite got over her ex, but he lives states and states away now. We decided to date, time goes on, she acts like a girlfriend but doesn't want to put a title on it, tells everyone I am just her friend. She begins to treat me like crap, she doesn't want to kiss me because she says my breath stinks, or any kind of excuse. She won't have sex with me anymore because I have anxiety around her because I automatically feel like she isn't into me. So seems like it would just be easy to walk away and try to find someone new? WRONG! For some reason I just couldn't/can't. I feel like I can show her what a good guy is, so I buy her things, do her dishes, watch her kid, but she says she can't give me affection. She only shows she cares when she seems to need something, so this weekend was the tipping point. She told me she was annoyed with me and wanted to spend time apart, I just knew this was her pulling away so it hurt my heart, but I let it be. She called me asking if I could watch her dog over the weekend because she had to work and began to tell me how much she didn't want to go to work and I was as usual trying to motivate her and make her feel better. Well she gets back today and just sends me a text saying she needs to pick her key up, I ask her can we hang out tonight. She says no, I just can't do that. I ask her why and she says I'm not getting into that I just can't see you. This made me feel so used, I mean I do everything for her and she can't even give me a little time after I took care of her dog? So, I just gained some courage and took her the key and the only thing she ever bought me and threw it in her car, I had tears in my eyes but I didn't mutter a word and went back into my apartment. Was this an over reaction by me? Should I have just given her space or am I just holding onto something that will never happen? I am pretty sure she will not talk to me after this too because she has a lot of pride and will never think she does anything wrong and that hurts even more knowing she doesn't even care why I am so upset, it doesn't phase her at all.
NoLeafClover Posted February 10, 2013 Posted February 10, 2013 Bra, I can't read your post i started to see stars at the 4th line...I am sure someone here can tell you why.
Author TheVSilent Posted February 10, 2013 Author Posted February 10, 2013 Bra, I can't read your post i started to see stars at the 4th line...I am sure someone here can tell you why. I'm sorry I didn't space it out, it won't let me edit it either.
KatZee Posted February 10, 2013 Posted February 10, 2013 This woman isn't into you. She's not attracted to you and doesn't see you as a romantic partner. The only reason you're in her life is to do whatever she needs done. And she uses you because she can. You just follow her around like a little puppy dog. Doing those things isn't going to make her magically attracted to you. She's already taken low blows at you, won't kiss you or have sex with you. Won't call you a boyfriend. I'd say it's time to start walking.
Author TheVSilent Posted February 10, 2013 Author Posted February 10, 2013 This woman isn't into you. She's not attracted to you and doesn't see you as a romantic partner. The only reason you're in her life is to do whatever she needs done. And she uses you because she can. You just follow her around like a little puppy dog. Doing those things isn't going to make her magically attracted to you. She's already taken low blows at you, won't kiss you or have sex with you. Won't call you a boyfriend. I'd say it's time to start walking. In the beginning (We have been "dating" since August of 2012) she would kiss me, act as if she was into me and would tell me she loved me. After about two months it all changed, and she just lost all interest in me. I think the bits and pieces of affection she would show, along with the fact that I felt like I could be the guy who shows her men aren't all pigs kept me around doing things. I guess I'm blind.
cavalier99 Posted February 10, 2013 Posted February 10, 2013 Im not making light of your pain and I'm sure this has been tough on you. BUT. HOLY SH*IT. Are you ok with being this pitiful? I could sorta understand if you were getting laid at least. I mean is there some strange psychological need being met by being abused by this woman and getting noting in return..childhood issues? This could at least make some sense to me.
Author TheVSilent Posted February 10, 2013 Author Posted February 10, 2013 Im not making light of your pain and I'm sure this has been tough on you. BUT. HOLY SH*IT. Are you ok with being this pitiful? I could sorta understand if you were getting laid at least. I mean is there some strange psychological need being met by being abused by this woman and getting noting in return..childhood issues? This could at least make some sense to me. I guess the only way I can explain it is when it was good (and it was very brief) I never felt that from anyone ever. I never met anyone so funny and who got my humor, but I guess I was wrong. It just sucks because she kept blaming stuff on her past relationship and she would cry about it and I would comfort her and I could kind of see (well I thought) her begin to trust in me but that was all BS. Maybe she just needed me as a punching bag, she is very judgmental and harsh and would constantly say if you don't like it there is the door, I don't need you. Well I finally took her advice, but I think I acted childish in throwing the sweater and key into her car, I could have just gave it back but my emotions got the best of me.
GingerVixen Posted February 10, 2013 Posted February 10, 2013 Dear , for God's sake... Look at what you're saying. I don't want to be rude , on the contrary, I want you to face your situation: you're acting like a doormat. Yes. You're this woman's doormat. Please, she's being horribly unconsidered to you. Saying you breath stinks? Doesn't want to have sex with you? Only talks to you to ask you favors? What kind of relationship is that? I won't say "please get out of this relationship" because you're overly attached to this woman. But you must do it as soon as possible. You clearly have something wrong about this woman. I'm sure you're a nice guy, but you must learn how to love and respect yourself, and thus see you deserve some respect as well. Do you feel happy? Fulfilled? I don't think you do. Have you ever realized that the longer you're with this woman, the longer it will take for you to meet another girl who will REALLY make you happy? STOP jeopardizing your life with this person who's clearly being cruel to you. STOP IT. You're wasting your time. Close this book , end this chapter, and start a fresh one in which you end up with a wonderful girl. Do us this favor. Please.
NoLeafClover Posted February 10, 2013 Posted February 10, 2013 DUde, I have read all kinds of posts, and this girl seems like the greatest B*** i have ever read about. Look what she's turning you into. Stop doing things for her. Don't even talk to her. If she was my gf and she talked to me like that, I'd end up wooping someone's arse. I don't know how the heck your buttons aren't pressed yet after you got openinly taken advantage off, said your breath stinks and avoids sleeping with you. If you never gave her any REAL reason for her to act this way with you then you should be glad this relationship is over. What you did when you threw her gift in her car was your GUT acting up on you. YOU DID THE RIGHT THING. From now on, your attitute is "I don't need to be treated like **** from noone" attitute. Recognize it and walk around with your head up as you don't owe her anything. When she comes to ask to dog seat, do dishes and other things, tell her I am sorry I got things to do. Don't comfort her let her arse deal with her own issues. You are much better than her and you know it. Why are you dealing with it.
Author TheVSilent Posted February 10, 2013 Author Posted February 10, 2013 Dear , for God's sake... Look at what you're saying. I don't want to be rude , on the contrary, I want you to face your situation: you're acting like a doormat. Yes. You're this woman's doormat. Please, she's being horribly unconsidered to you. Saying you breath stinks? Doesn't want to have sex with you? Only talks to you to ask you favors? What kind of relationship is that? I won't say "please get out of this relationship" because you're overly attached to this woman. But you must do it as soon as possible. You clearly have something wrong about this woman. I'm sure you're a nice guy, but you must learn how to love and respect yourself, and thus see you deserve some respect as well. Do you feel happy? Fulfilled? I don't think you do. Have you ever realized that the longer you're with this woman, the longer it will take for you to meet another girl who will REALLY make you happy? STOP jeopardizing your life with this person who's clearly being cruel to you. STOP IT. You're wasting your time. Close this book , end this chapter, and start a fresh one in which you end up with a wonderful girl. Do us this favor. Please. I don't think I have a choice even if I wanted to continue, after what went down today she will not talk to me again, there is not way because that's how stubborn she is. She doesn't care that I'm hurt, deep down I was hoping that by me pulling away today she might realize what she is missing but I highly doubt it.
GingerVixen Posted February 10, 2013 Posted February 10, 2013 I don't think I have a choice even if I wanted to continue, after what went down today she will not talk to me again, there is not way because that's how stubborn she is. She doesn't care that I'm hurt, deep down I was hoping that by me pulling away today she might realize what she is missing but I highly doubt it. She won't miss you because this kind of woman is sick and doesn't miss good guys. THEY MISS BAD GUYS. The ones who treat them like sluts or clowns. You're a good man, someone who many girls are looking for here , she's a lucky woman who can't see what a good guy she has. And please pay attention to what you're saying... " I was hoping that by me pulling away today she might realize what she is missing but I highly doubt it." DID YOU REALLY WANT HER BACK? Do you want to stay with this woman forever who says bad things even about YOUR BREATH? You don't have to be sad because she doesn't want you anymore, you have to be happy!!! You're getting rid of someone who's doing a great damage to your life. SET YOURSELF FREE!
Author TheVSilent Posted February 10, 2013 Author Posted February 10, 2013 She won't miss you because this kind of woman is sick and doesn't miss good guys. THEY MISS BAD GUYS. The ones who treat them like sluts or clowns. You're a good man, someone who many girls are looking for here , she's a lucky woman who can't see what a good guy she has. And please pay attention to what you're saying... " I was hoping that by me pulling away today she might realize what she is missing but I highly doubt it." DID YOU REALLY WANT HER BACK? Do you want to stay with this woman forever who says bad things even about YOUR BREATH? You don't have to be sad because she doesn't want you anymore, you have to be happy!!! You're getting rid of someone who's doing a great damage to your life. SET YOURSELF FREE! Thanks. Eh, I hate this feeling though, I put so much of my time and energy just to fail, but thanks for all the words of encouragement, I really needed an uplift. 1
GingerVixen Posted February 10, 2013 Posted February 10, 2013 You're welcome, dear. You deserve better, don't forget it.
Author TheVSilent Posted February 10, 2013 Author Posted February 10, 2013 You're welcome, dear. You deserve better, don't forget it. I think I am having a panic attack/really nervous/really ****ty feeling. I deleted her from all social media, but last night a friend of hers on instagram posted some pictures of them two out and having fun. Yeah I deleted her friend after seeing that, but just knowing that she REALLY doesn't care and doesn't want to talk to me or understand why I did what I did cuts deep. So my last image of her is throwing my stuff in her car? That sucks! I know she probably feels like "Hell no he will never talk to this again after acting like a baby!".
Author TheVSilent Posted February 12, 2013 Author Posted February 12, 2013 Alright, just a little update to keep a log of this and maybe some motivation to help me stay away. She contacted me to tell me she is going to give my stuff back, that she just can't be around me anymore, literally because she just needs space and just doesn't see us working out. I feel really used, chewed up and spit out. I asked her why and she had no explanation at all, yet when she needed something she sure had an explanation for it. I just don't understand how somebody can be so cold, turn somebody off like it is nothing to them at all, and tell me "I hope you feel better." Feel better? You're the one doing this to me! She said I don't know if we ever will be friends again, I'm not rejecting you but if and when I want you in my life I will let you know. A friend of hers told me today she never even wanted a boyfriend, and that I was just around and she felt forced. I never forced her hand into anything, she was the one that suggested it but was also the one not whole heartedly into it and cruel. If she never wanted a boyfriend then why feed me breadcrumbs for this long? Was it just to use me up, to get some sort of satisfaction? I'm just at a loss right now, what gives her the right to play God and take away whenever she wants and then tell me she will enter back in my life when she pleases? The sad thing is I feel if she was to do that I would be weak and crawl right back to her.
Recommended Posts