lovelifexx Posted February 3, 2013 Share Posted February 3, 2013 It's been 2.5 months since the BU, together for 1 year. He broke up with me because we had to keep our relationship a secret. He just got so worried about getting caught that he had to end it. He was devastated too in the beginning, but I think he is over it now. He wanted to be friends but I said that it would be too hard in the beginning and needed to go NC for awhile. When I started to feel a bit better I started to contact him, but realized he didn't seem to interested, so I don't contact him at all anymore. But we still see eachother at school, so we smile and say hello when we run into eachother. I hate this. I still think of him every single minute. I have been through really bad break ups before, but it's never taken this long to get over someone. I am so tired of this! I hate that Im suffering so bad, and he seems to be so ok with everything. I guess it's because I still have to see him everyday. Has someone been in this situation where they work/study with their ex? How long did it take to get over them??? This is killing me. Link to post Share on other sites
notsosuperman Posted February 3, 2013 Share Posted February 3, 2013 You move on by not saying hi to him or anything. It is obviously a problem that everything suddenly needs to be on a friendly basis. In the beginning of my break-up I saw my ex at school everyday too, but I stopped looking after her because it did me no good. She said she wanted to be friends but I knew that I couldn't/wouldn't just settle for a friendship, when we had had more than that, so I just started ignoring her and pretending she is not there and I am feeling good and doing better day by day. Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted February 3, 2013 Share Posted February 3, 2013 Has someone been in this situation where they work/study with their ex? How long did it take to get over them??? This is killing me. Funnily enough, the No Contact Guide in my signature was originally 'penned' by Caliguy - a man who worked with his fiancée in the same building, for the same company. he did everything he could to avoid any type of contact that had nothing to do with work. he avoided eye contact, small-talk, chit-chat and all the superficial trivial little things - like what you're doing now. He blanked her off completely, other than at times when he was obliged to interact with her on a professional/business level. Then, he kept talk pertinent, to a minimum and said only things that were absolutely necessary. It takes a lot of personal discipline, and remember this (engrave it on your heart): "The person who cares the least, controls the most." You have to 'make' like you don't care. If only for your own good. Read the Guide. It's a life-saver..... Link to post Share on other sites
Author lovelifexx Posted February 3, 2013 Author Share Posted February 3, 2013 Thank you so much for your replies. Yeah, we don't talk at all. It's only when I pass him in the hall that we smile and say hi, but sometimes I pretend not to see him. It hurts so much just to glance at him. I will read the guide. Link to post Share on other sites
CaliGuy Posted February 4, 2013 Share Posted February 4, 2013 Funnily enough, the No Contact Guide in my signature was originally 'penned' by Caliguy - a man who worked with his fiancée in the same building, for the same company. he did everything he could to avoid any type of contact that had nothing to do with work. he avoided eye contact, small-talk, chit-chat and all the superficial trivial little things - like what you're doing now. He blanked her off completely, other than at times when he was obliged to interact with her on a professional/business level. Then, he kept talk pertinent, to a minimum and said only things that were absolutely necessary. It takes a lot of personal discipline, and remember this (engrave it on your heart): "The person who cares the least, controls the most." You have to 'make' like you don't care. If only for your own good. Read the Guide. It's a life-saver..... Meh, wanna hear something funny? She moved to about 6 miles from where I am now. Not that I care, but odd that she moved 3000 miles to within six miles from me (she came here about 6 months after I moved here with her fiance). I bring this up not because I care about her (I don't) but the oddities that life throws at you and what God says you sometimes need to show you that you are indeed A-OK (which I am). If I ran into her now, I'd just smile, laugh and keep walking. And the good part is, I may be moving back to California so we'll see. Keep your fingers crossed because I want to get back to my stomping grounds. Hate the weather here! Link to post Share on other sites
becks77 Posted February 4, 2013 Share Posted February 4, 2013 Meh, wanna hear something funny? She moved to about 6 miles from where I am now. Not that I care, but odd that she moved 3000 miles to within six miles from me (she came here about 6 months after I moved here with her fiance). I bring this up not because I care about her (I don't) but the oddities that life throws at you and what God says you sometimes need to show you that you are indeed A-OK (which I am). If I ran into her now, I'd just smile, laugh and keep walking. And the good part is, I may be moving back to California so we'll see. Keep your fingers crossed because I want to get back to my stomping grounds. Hate the weather here! I hate the weather here! (London is not good in the winter!) I kept seeing your name at the end of people's posts and now I see you on on an actual post - a loveshack VIP! Anyway - just wanted to say many thanks for the NC guide - very helpful! Link to post Share on other sites
CaliGuy Posted February 5, 2013 Share Posted February 5, 2013 I hate the weather here! (London is not good in the winter!) I kept seeing your name at the end of people's posts and now I see you on on an actual post - a loveshack VIP! Anyway - just wanted to say many thanks for the NC guide - very helpful! You're welcome and I don't think I am a VIP. I've just learned a hard lesson in life and am trying to save others from the misery I allowed myself to wallow around for a long time. Right now, the last thing I care about is a relationship. I'm just happy being me, free of crazy women and happy as I've ever been. I think having a great relationship with God has helped me immensely. Link to post Share on other sites
becks77 Posted February 5, 2013 Share Posted February 5, 2013 I'm glad you're happy where you are now - that's what I want! I'm afraid of wallowing - I just want to be the person I was before the break up - I'm getting there - slowly! Link to post Share on other sites
oracle Posted February 5, 2013 Share Posted February 5, 2013 I've been living with my ex for 2.5 years.. I'll let you know when I figure it out. Probably another year or two after we finally go our separate ways. It's been 2.5 months since the BU, together for 1 year. He broke up with me because we had to keep our relationship a secret. He just got so worried about getting caught that he had to end it. He was devastated too in the beginning, but I think he is over it now. He wanted to be friends but I said that it would be too hard in the beginning and needed to go NC for awhile. When I started to feel a bit better I started to contact him, but realized he didn't seem to interested, so I don't contact him at all anymore. But we still see eachother at school, so we smile and say hello when we run into eachother. I hate this. I still think of him every single minute. I have been through really bad break ups before, but it's never taken this long to get over someone. I am so tired of this! I hate that Im suffering so bad, and he seems to be so ok with everything. I guess it's because I still have to see him everyday. Has someone been in this situation where they work/study with their ex? How long did it take to get over them??? This is killing me. Link to post Share on other sites
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