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Karma - 2 months NC and she's texting me (Tables possibly turned but I like NC)

NoLeafClover

By NoLeafClover
in Breaks and Breaking Up

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NoLeafClover Established Member

NoLeafClover

Posted
Posted (edited)

Hello Everyone.

 

I know you're probably thinking I'm new on here but I have read almost every single post on here since I signed up and even prior(n49, taramorgan, vortex, ConfusedHumanBeing, NoMoreJerks etc) I know your stories pretty well I'd say.

 

I have been hesitant to open up on here as I know my ex loves to Google stuff but I figured It's been long enough now that I don't even care if she sees this.

Please be aware this might be a bit long but I can't help but try to make some sense out of the things my ex has been doing since BU. I am def over it but I can't seem to have learned anything from this besides what NC really is.

I know I know, I will never get any answers as to why she did what she did but I am actually referring at her breaking NC.

 

 

My ex and I (she was 30, I'm 26) were dating for 5 1/2 months...(Yes ridiculous writing this crap for such a short relationship)

 

On Dec 2 - after a lot of fighting for a whole week (mostly due to me catching her on lies and keeping things away from me - I lost trust) she slammed my car door and called it quits.

 

It really hurt me because I was pulling through dealing with her compulsively lying to me about her ex, her past and then lately about the relationship she had with her sister and family gaining up on her not to be with me...and her excuse was "I have a problem with lying what do you want me to say". On the other hand, there were things I could of dealt with better but what's done is done.

 

Dec 3rd - (Day after BU) felt like the worse day of my life. I left work early for lunch and went to see her at work. She got in my car and we both started crying. I told her that I felt betrayed and she kept giving me mix feelings. At first she said she was over me, then she wanted to give it a try and perhaps just a short break because she was emotionally unstabled. She wanted me to call her once i got to work which I did and we got off the phone both saying how much we loved each other.

 

I went to see her later that day and I ended up with my heart broken again and felt so disrespected right in front of her house as I was begging her to stop acting like a stranger while she kept yelling "IM DONE, GO HOME. I said GOO HOME"..I felt so empty and hopeless everything hit me at once.

My mother was in the hospital fighting cancer (going through a bone-marrow transplant at the time), I was going through finals at school and was very overwhelmed at work.. I ended up breaking down in front of her ....but she gave no ****s.

 

For a week we texted and talked very little on the phone. Her giving me mix feelings still but always ended the conversation with "I love you but I can't do this" and with me getting my heart broken over and over again.

A week after breaking up, she texted me being nice and ended up visiting me at work when I got out. (this was on my request)

 

We spent 3 hours in the parking lot her saying how "she wasn't happy, regrets breaking up with me and loves me so much" I told her the same and that I wanted to take it slow this time. I told her I am very stressed out and that prehaps I just bring out on us (I think about it now and I never brought any of my problems on our relationship so that was prob me finding a reason to give us closure) Everything was fine until out of nowhere, she grabbed the door handle and got out the car saying "I can't Im sorry I can't do this". Got in her car and just sat there. I told her WTF and that I was done, and immediately she drove off. I was confused and heartbroken again.

 

Sometime during that week, I went to see my mother in the hospital and broke down on her as I was trying so hard to put a smile on my face when I heard she was going to be out the hospital soon. It's like it hurt me even more. I realized my priorities had to change and be strong as this was not the time for me to show any kind of weakness due to the circumstances with the family. I pulled my sh*t together and took every single thing my ex said to me personally and said F** her and everything that comes with her drama. If she's going to do this at the worse point of my life, I don't need a personal like that either way.

 

Dec 12 - early in the AM was last time I talked and texted her.

 

Went no contact, went out with friends, worked out twice a day, went to shooting range to release my anger and connected with a previous ex I dated for 5 years (which I was very close with to start off with). Signed up on LS and realized what I was doing indeed was the right thing.

I had already blocked her and her sister on Facebook and promised myself to not try to even look at any of her friends FB pics or try to find out what she was up to... I kept my word.

 

Dec 18 - I sent her things back via Mail (A phone charger and a PS3 game she had left at my house)

 

It was very hard but I was doing better than walking like a dead zombie although I never got any type of closure from her and never really told my peace. (I am an only child and could not talk to my guy friends very deeply about this situation as they'd think I was being ridiculous as I should of been more worried about my mother than her)

 

I ended up spending xmas with my ex ex and her family (they invited me over I think as they knew my mom was not going to be home) I accepted as I needed to keep my mind off things so I well.

 

Dec 26 -(I get the first text) "I know you don't want to hear from me or that you ever thought you'd hear from me again but I hope you had a good xmas and hope your mom is gets well soon."

 

I did not reply.

 

Jan 1 - another text- I was something like "I am Glad you are with the love of your life. I hope you're happy"

- She can't see my FB page as she is blocked and my FB is set to private. My profile picture is of one of my bikes and she can't see any pics of me. She went as far as creeping on my ex ex's FB (the one I spent Xmas with) and saw a pic of us for her on her profile as her profile is also private.

*I did not reply.

 

Jan 2 - another text - "I am sorry I texted you that. It's been a very rough couple of weeks"

 

*I am thinking only a couple of weeks? It's been a whole rough month for me. I wasn't satisfied so I did not reply.

 

Jan 5 - I get a box in mail. I figured it was probably some stuff I left at her house. I opened it and I get a pair of underwear, a pair of socks, a white t-shirt, two unused condoms and a plastic ring I won’t at a coin gaming machine together with a small weird card that when you close it, it closes uneven.

(Okay first off, who the F*** sends back condoms, a pair of socks and a pair of underwear? Really? I own two motorcycles, a boat, a jetski and two cars...I can afford a pair of underwear.)

 

On the card it said, "hey my name, here is your stuff. I don't know if you need it but you sent me mine. I am sorry for the way things ended. I don't know what else to say right now. I hope you're happy ( I am not being sarcastic when I say that) I hope your mother and your father are doing good. I hope your mom gets well soon. She is a very strong woman, I hope you know that. - Love ex's name. "

 

*I did not respond

 

Jan 26 (two days ago) text - "Did you ever really stop loving her and really love me? "

*I did not respond

 

Jan 27 (Yesterday) - I get woken up at 9 Am (Yes I slept in , w.e it was Saturday :p ) from a restricted phone call. I never receive any restricted phone calls ever. When cousins from overseas call, it shows as an Unknown Number. Restricted is when someone dials *67 in front of the number.

* I decided not to pick up.

 

My assumption is she called restricted to check if I have the same number and see if I am getting the text messages.

 

Either-way, I would really love to hear what you guys think? Why is she doing this? What in the world is she trying to get from all this?

 

ps. I never broke NC and I don't think I ever will. I am hanging out with many people and old friends (got a house party coming up, and love how much more focused I am on my side projects then when I was with her)

My mother is back home and doing better and things look pretty good. I also graduate with an I.T degree in less then a year.

 

***

To anyone struggling out there, keep strong my friends. There is light at the end of the tunnel is just a matter of getting closure with yourself. (If you don't believe me, read my first post on here and look how far along I've come in 47 days of NC)

Edited by NoLeafClover
  • Like 4
cavalier99 Established Member

cavalier99

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Ha..Good for you man. That is great progress for less than 2 months NC! Hope your mom is doing OK.

 

Sh******t. Im at 4 months and still have a ways to go.

 

Anyway you already know the answer. She is surprised you pulled the rug out form under her and aren't chasing so she is beginning to really question things. You know she just wants an ego boost. The second you answer she will feel fulfilled and off she goes. Now if she shows up at your front door it could be a different story. The key word being "COULD"

 

Just keep it up. Your doing great. Soon you wont care about her at all and will have some other hot babe and this EX wont even enter your mind. She want out and got what she wanted. So will you and it isn't her. Rock On! Cav

Jono85 Established Member

Jono85

Posted
Posted

a few things...

 

1. that's amazing man. you've won. you've got the power back. what do i make of it? i think it sounds like she's genuinely having 2nd thoughts. what's prompting those 2nd thoughts though? that is the issue. it might be because her ex, or whoever her other option was, isn't really working out, and she realizes that her 2nd option (you) seems to be fading and it's driving her crazy.

 

2. i'm ridiculously jealous of you. my ex is too stubborn, and got all the power from me at the end as i did similar things as you. only she seems to have gained that power and has grown stronger from it, and it's helped her move on. it's funny, b/c i had all the power for 90% of our relationship. broke up with her a few times, and wasn't until the end when things got bad, that i realized how much i loved her and became open about that. but she was done.

 

3. i know you say there's hope for the rest of us, but there's really not lol. i'm nearing 2 months of strict NC, but when I say NC, i mean NC on either side. yours has been contacting you throughout. for the people, like myself, who just haven't heard a peep from their exes in months...there's not much hope.

 

 

all i freaking want is what you're getting, to help me move on lol. my ego is so wounded. i just want her to regret everything so i can slam the door in her face. sad? pathetic? entirely! :D

cavalier99 Established Member

cavalier99

Posted
Posted

Yo Jono be grateful you aren't getting the bread crumbs. NoLeafClover is dealing well with them but doesn't mean you or me would. In fact I'm pretty sure it would totally mess me up..better that they stay gone until we are totally indifferent.

 

Nice or desperate bread crumbs wont help us heal faster. And who says she wants a second chance with NoLeaf. I think she just wants an ego boost.

 

On another note. The fact that NoLeaf knows all our stories makes me wonder how many other silent readers are out there. Weird I've been posting a lot the last couple months..man I hope my posts have been been beneficial lol...just strange to think about.

TaraMaiden Established Member

TaraMaiden

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Posted

(Who's 'Taramorgan'.....? :confused:)

 

;)

Jono85 Established Member

Jono85

Posted
Posted
Yo Jono be grateful you aren't getting the bread crumbs. NoLeafClover is dealing well with them but doesn't mean you or me would. In fact I'm pretty sure it would totally mess me up..better that they stay gone until we are totally indifferent.

 

Nice or desperate bread crumbs wont help us heal faster. And who says she wants a second chance with NoLeaf. I think she just wants an ego boost.

 

On another note. The fact that NoLeaf knows all our stories makes me wonder how many other silent readers are out there. Weird I've been posting a lot the last couple months..man I hope my posts have been been beneficial lol...just strange to think about.

 

yeah i dunno, i guess it would depend on the kind of breadcrumbs. i have no interest in the usual breadcrumbs, but the kind he's getting, that shows your ex is in pain, i would love that sh*t lol. aside from a phone call a few months ago, where she broke down when speaking about the problems and the ways she was hurt in our relationship (while she simultaneously said it's over forever) i really haven't seen any pain from her. she was an extremely emotional person in our relationship. yet she's been so cold and strong throughout the breakup (at least towards me). just makes me feel so crap, like i meant nothing to her. you're right though it might mess me up, but then again i'm still pretty messed up most days unfortunately.

 

yeah who knows whether OPs ex wants a 2nd chance or not. major props to him for ignoring it all though.

  • Like 1
cavalier99 Established Member

cavalier99

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Posted
(Who's 'Taramorgan'.....? :confused:)

 

;)

 

That's the name we use for you when we secretly PM about you behind your back blasting your harsh doses of reality. Lol

 

 

...kidding :)

  • Like 1
TaraMaiden Established Member

TaraMaiden

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Posted

I know you're kidding, hun.

 

But I still believe it.

 

 

:p

 

How you doing sweetie?

Fancy a hug, a bag of popcorn and Ironman II?

TaraMaiden Established Member

TaraMaiden

Posted
Posted

Oh, and.... OP?

 

Don't get me started on 'Karma'.

 

Suffice to say you got it wrong...... ;)

  • Like 2
StraylightRun24 Established Member

StraylightRun24

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Posted

@cavalier99 I was one of those silent readers up until a couple of days ago and I have to say the posters on here have been very beneficial to my current situation. I got dumped out of blue by my girlfriend a few days after Christmas and have been down in the dumps ever since. I stumbled onto this site while I was looking up best ways to get your ex off your mind and all of your stories have showed me that while we might all feel alone right now we really aren't because all of us are going through very similar situations and lending support to each other. It's a really great thing and I really believe it's helping a lot of the posters on here with their healing process, but you might like to take what I say with a grain of salt....I mean I thought everything was great with my girlfriend! ;)

  • Like 2
cavalier99 Established Member

cavalier99

Posted
Posted (edited)
@cavalier99 I was one of those silent readers up until a couple of days ago and I have to say the posters on here have been very beneficial to my current situation. I got dumped out of blue by my girlfriend a few days after Christmas and have been down in the dumps ever since. I stumbled onto this site while I was looking up best ways to get your ex off your mind and all of your stories have showed me that while we might all feel alone right now we really aren't because all of us are going through very similar situations and lending support to each other. It's a really great thing and I really believe it's helping a lot of the posters on here with their healing process, but you might like to take what I say with a grain of salt....I mean I thought everything was great with my girlfriend! ;)

 

I also randomly stumbled upon LS and silently read for like a month. Not sure how I've ended up with hundreds of posts so fast. :) Keep on reading. And as you can tell I've found that posting has helped too.

 

Ha..we all thought it was great with out girls until the bomb was dropped! So i don't take what you say with a grain of salt. Hang in there! It gets better..not all at once and sometimes we feel like we are going backwards...but i can assure you the complete hell of the first month does go away and you can function again. Cav

Edited by cavalier99
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NoLeafClover Established Member

NoLeafClover

Posted
  • Author
Posted
a few things...

 

1. that's amazing man. you've won. you've got the power back. what do i make of it? i think it sounds like she's genuinely having 2nd thoughts. what's prompting those 2nd thoughts though? that is the issue. it might be because her ex, or whoever her other option was, isn't really working out, and she realizes that her 2nd option (you) seems to be fading and it's driving her crazy.

 

2. i'm ridiculously jealous of you. my ex is too stubborn, and got all the power from me at the end as i did similar things as you. only she seems to have gained that power and has grown stronger from it, and it's helped her move on. it's funny, b/c i had all the power for 90% of our relationship. broke up with her a few times, and wasn't until the end when things got bad, that i realized how much i loved her and became open about that. but she was done.

 

3. i know you say there's hope for the rest of us, but there's really not lol. i'm nearing 2 months of strict NC, but when I say NC, i mean NC on either side. yours has been contacting you throughout. for the people, like myself, who just haven't heard a peep from their exes in months...there's not much hope.

 

 

all i freaking want is what you're getting, to help me move on lol. my ego is so wounded. i just want her to regret everything so i can slam the door in her face. sad? pathetic? entirely! :D

Jono, there is no need to be jelous. I have been in that position where I was questioning if she was ever going to contact me again. By the time she did I had come to realize that it's not worth it. It's not worth the headache, the sleepless nights and the crying. Let them be stubborn and feel superior..This should give you a reason to be even stronger. Because even if she doesn't come back or throw any breadcrumbs, you have left the impression that you don't care in the long run. You could be crying all night long just to hold back from contacting her, but she won't know it and that is the impression you want to leave.

 

I put my hand on fire that everytime my ex texts me, she looks over at her phone every other min hoping she got a reply back . Im also sure that when she gets a text from someone else, her heart prob skips a beat hoping it could be me. She told me this when we met 1 week after we BU. It's no rocket science and Im sure most dumpers here do fight their inner feelings from contacting the dumpee at some point.

 

I could change my FB pic and put a pic of me and a girl kissing or being cute to get my ex jelous but that's not the point. Actually getting her jelous might make her move on faster but having her wonder what I'm up to and missing what I look like is more painful.

 

I have learned one thing from this last experience. Going NC is a like Cold War where whoever gives in, is the weakest link. During this time you are your worst enemy to the person you see in the mirror everyday. The best way to get over this situation is to do one thing, that is to "Not Give a F*** " as much as possible (pardon my language here)

Actually I think NC should be called the "Not Giving a F*** Game"

The less you care, the better tables will flip around on your behalf (whether she comes back or not). Forget about her, find any reason that will make her not worth fighting for. I have one already, you don't need to suffer thru this bs because of her. Someone that cares will not go missing and be a stranger knowing how you feel about her. Even friends don't act this way.

Start being more selfish. Forget about her and everything connected/related with her. You're the star player and are in full control of this situation. You just have to recognize it and make the best out of it. You've come a long way already.

 

 

Yo Jono be grateful you aren't getting the bread crumbs. NoLeafClover is dealing well with them but doesn't mean you or me would. In fact I'm pretty sure it would totally mess me up..better that they stay gone until we are totally indifferent.

 

Nice or desperate bread crumbs wont help us heal faster. And who says she wants a second chance with NoLeaf. I think she just wants an ego boost.

 

On another note. The fact that NoLeaf knows all our stories makes me wonder how many other silent readers are out there. Weird I've been posting a lot the last couple months..man I hope my posts have been been beneficial lol...just strange to think about.

Breadcrumbs or not, I have learned to live with it. It does boost my ego of course, but it also sets me back sometimes. Not to where I feel like I want her back, but because I start to question why she is acting this way again.

Sometimes I just want to msg back "F off" but then why be immature and give her the satisfaction of thought. My friends were joking with me when she texted "Did you ever stopped loving her (refering to my ex ex) and really love me" that I should of just replied with "NO" lol

My ex is questioning things so much, that she's even starting to wonder whether or not I still loved my previous ex while I was with her and whether or not I really loved her(obviously because I haven't replied to her texts and she thinks I am back with my ex ex). That last text totally shows it. It could be a breadcrumb but it is also a very open ended message with an open door. Many here would take the chance but I am not because I see it this way; If she really wanted to get back together, she would call (not restricted) and not just text me. She would appologize for at least being so harsh on me and walking out on such a hardtime in my life. Even if she had a legit reason, recognizing the shi*ty way she ended things is better than nothing. She is being manipulative, asking about whether I loved her, asking questions on purpose so I can reply "no hunny I always loved you, please come back" In all true honesty it shouldn't matter whether I am with my ex ex or any other girl. She's not with me and that should be the last thing an ex should ask period.

So I've said forget it. People like this don't deserve a second thought. Let em learn the hardway and get a taste of their own medicine.

 

(Who's 'Taramorgan'.....? :confused:)

 

;)

Tara, I do want to appologize. Tara Morgan is actually a friend of mine (I don't know where I got that from, haven't seen the girl in couple years lol), but you know I was refering to you - TaraMaiden

  • Like 2
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NoLeafClover Established Member

NoLeafClover

Posted
  • Author
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I also randomly stumbled upon LS and silently read for like a month. Not sure how I've ended up with hundreds of posts so fast. :) Keep on reading. And as you can tell I've found that posting has helped too.

 

Ha..we all thought it was great with out girls until the bomb was dropped! So i don't take what you say with a grain of salt. Hang in there! It gets better..not all at once and sometimes we feel like we are going backwards...but i can assure you the complete hell of the first month does go away and you can function again. Cav

 

 

I think I read so many posts I have literally put myself to sleep with my computer on my lap (No kidding ) This has happened plenty of times.

It's like reading a book before bed.

I enjoy reading people's stories, I can't tell you exactly why though. Perhaps because I get some type of closure knowing that there are people out there that are going through the same relationship problems I am.

  • Like 1
TaraMaiden Established Member

TaraMaiden

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Posted

Tara, I do want to appologize. Tara Morgan is actually a friend of mine (I don't know where I got that from, haven't seen the girl in couple years lol), but you know I was refering to you - TaraMaiden

 

Hey! No apology necessary at all!

 

You can add me to that 'friend of mine list' too....

 

You wait until you meet our Taramere..... legal eagle and damn fine mind.

I often wish I was her, but - no dice!!

 

:D

h3braica Established Member

h3braica

Posted
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wow! i'm doing the right thing. day 30 of NC. 1st contact day 15 ex emailed he misses me so much. i didn't reply. breadcrumbs!

  • Like 2
Coping Vortex Established Member

Coping Vortex

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Posted

My ex and I have had contact and even face to face meetings over the past 10 weeks of the break up. Only once did my ex contact me. Every other time it was me. Every time we broke NC I felt like we were going to get back. But it always ended worse than I could have ever imagined.

 

This sucks plain and simple. I'm still devastated.

h3braica Established Member

h3braica

Posted
Posted
My ex and I have had contact and even face to face meetings over the past 10 weeks of the break up. Only once did my ex contact me. Every other time it was me. Every time we broke NC I felt like we were going to get back. But it always ended worse than I could have ever imagined.

 

This sucks plain and simple. I'm still devastated.

 

 

i feel u. don't break NC.

Chi townD Established Member

Chi townD

Posted
Posted

Yeah, she's sending you obvious breadcrumbs with questions like, "did you even love me?" crap. She's looking for an ego stroke from you. Having you respond with, "Of course I love you, you meant the world to me. You were the reason I got up in the mornings." She wanted to hear all of that and then....she moves on like she always does.

 

Look, she made the decision to have you out of her life, not you. SHe told you that she couldn't "do this anymore." Fine! Then relieve her of that burden.

 

 

Stay NC. Make positive changes in your life and heal. Time to move on, dude. If she REALLY wanted to work things out, she knows EXACTLY where you live. Has she showed up to your place with hand in hat? Apologizing and stating that she made a mistake and that she's willing to move mountains for you just to get another chance? Nope!

 

Time to move on.

  • Like 1
Samilia Established Member

Samilia

Posted
Posted
Hello Everyone.

 

I know you're probably thinking I'm new on here but I have read almost every single post on here since I signed up and even prior(n49, taramorgan, vortex, ConfusedHumanBeing, NoMoreJerks etc) I know your stories pretty well I'd say.

 

I have been hesitant to open up on here as I know my ex loves to Google stuff but I figured It's been long enough now that I don't even care if she sees this.

Please be aware this might be a bit long but I can't help but try to make some sense out of the things my ex has been doing since BU. I am def over it but I can't seem to have learned anything from this besides what NC really is.

I know I know, I will never get any answers as to why she did what she did but I am actually referring at her breaking NC.

 

 

My ex and I (she was 30, I'm 26) were dating for 5 1/2 months...(Yes ridiculous writing this crap for such a short relationship)

 

On Dec 2 - after a lot of fighting for a whole week (mostly due to me catching her on lies and keeping things away from me - I lost trust) she slammed my car door and called it quits.

 

It really hurt me because I was pulling through dealing with her compulsively lying to me about her ex, her past and then lately about the relationship she had with her sister and family gaining up on her not to be with me...and her excuse was "I have a problem with lying what do you want me to say". On the other hand, there were things I could of dealt with better but what's done is done.

 

Dec 3rd - (Day after BU) felt like the worse day of my life. I left work early for lunch and went to see her at work. She got in my car and we both started crying. I told her that I felt betrayed and she kept giving me mix feelings. At first she said she was over me, then she wanted to give it a try and perhaps just a short break because she was emotionally unstabled. She wanted me to call her once i got to work which I did and we got off the phone both saying how much we loved each other.

 

I went to see her later that day and I ended up with my heart broken again and felt so disrespected right in front of her house as I was begging her to stop acting like a stranger while she kept yelling "IM DONE, GO HOME. I said GOO HOME"..I felt so empty and hopeless everything hit me at once.

My mother was in the hospital fighting cancer (going through a bone-marrow transplant at the time), I was going through finals at school and was very overwhelmed at work.. I ended up breaking down in front of her ....but she gave no ****s.

 

For a week we texted and talked very little on the phone. Her giving me mix feelings still but always ended the conversation with "I love you but I can't do this" and with me getting my heart broken over and over again.

A week after breaking up, she texted me being nice and ended up visiting me at work when I got out. (this was on my request)

 

We spent 3 hours in the parking lot her saying how "she wasn't happy, regrets breaking up with me and loves me so much" I told her the same and that I wanted to take it slow this time. I told her I am very stressed out and that prehaps I just bring out on us (I think about it now and I never brought any of my problems on our relationship so that was prob me finding a reason to give us closure) Everything was fine until out of nowhere, she grabbed the door handle and got out the car saying "I can't Im sorry I can't do this". Got in her car and just sat there. I told her WTF and that I was done, and immediately she drove off. I was confused and heartbroken again.

 

Sometime during that week, I went to see my mother in the hospital and broke down on her as I was trying so hard to put a smile on my face when I heard she was going to be out the hospital soon. It's like it hurt me even more. I realized my priorities had to change and be strong as this was not the time for me to show any kind of weakness due to the circumstances with the family. I pulled my sh*t together and took every single thing my ex said to me personally and said F** her and everything that comes with her drama. If she's going to do this at the worse point of my life, I don't need a personal like that either way.

 

Dec 12 - early in the AM was last time I talked and texted her.

 

Went no contact, went out with friends, worked out twice a day, went to shooting range to release my anger and connected with a previous ex I dated for 5 years (which I was very close with to start off with). Signed up on LS and realized what I was doing indeed was the right thing.

I had already blocked her and her sister on Facebook and promised myself to not try to even look at any of her friends FB pics or try to find out what she was up to... I kept my word.

 

Dec 18 - I sent her things back via Mail (A phone charger and a PS3 game she had left at my house)

 

It was very hard but I was doing better than walking like a dead zombie although I never got any type of closure from her and never really told my peace. (I am an only child and could not talk to my guy friends very deeply about this situation as they'd think I was being ridiculous as I should of been more worried about my mother than her)

 

I ended up spending xmas with my ex ex and her family (they invited me over I think as they knew my mom was not going to be home) I accepted as I needed to keep my mind off things so I well.

 

Dec 26 -(I get the first text) "I know you don't want to hear from me or that you ever thought you'd hear from me again but I hope you had a good xmas and hope your mom is gets well soon."

 

I did not reply.

 

Jan 1 - another text- I was something like "I am Glad you are with the love of your life. I hope you're happy"

- She can't see my FB page as she is blocked and my FB is set to private. My profile picture is of one of my bikes and she can't see any pics of me. She went as far as creeping on my ex ex's FB (the one I spent Xmas with) and saw a pic of us for her on her profile as her profile is also private.

*I did not reply.

 

Jan 2 - another text - "I am sorry I texted you that. It's been a very rough couple of weeks"

 

*I am thinking only a couple of weeks? It's been a whole rough month for me. I wasn't satisfied so I did not reply.

 

Jan 5 - I get a box in mail. I figured it was probably some stuff I left at her house. I opened it and I get a pair of underwear, a pair of socks, a white t-shirt, two unused condoms and a plastic ring I won’t at a coin gaming machine together with a small weird card that when you close it, it closes uneven.

(Okay first off, who the F*** sends back condoms, a pair of socks and a pair of underwear? Really? I own two motorcycles, a boat, a jetski and two cars...I can afford a pair of underwear.)

 

On the card it said, "hey my name, here is your stuff. I don't know if you need it but you sent me mine. I am sorry for the way things ended. I don't know what else to say right now. I hope you're happy ( I am not being sarcastic when I say that) I hope your mother and your father are doing good. I hope your mom gets well soon. She is a very strong woman, I hope you know that. - Love ex's name. "

 

*I did not respond

 

Jan 26 (two days ago) text - "Did you ever really stop loving her and really love me? "

*I did not respond

 

Jan 27 (Yesterday) - I get woken up at 9 Am (Yes I slept in , w.e it was Saturday :p ) from a restricted phone call. I never receive any restricted phone calls ever. When cousins from overseas call, it shows as an Unknown Number. Restricted is when someone dials *67 in front of the number.

* I decided not to pick up.

 

My assumption is she called restricted to check if I have the same number and see if I am getting the text messages.

 

Either-way, I would really love to hear what you guys think? Why is she doing this? What in the world is she trying to get from all this?

 

ps. I never broke NC and I don't think I ever will. I am hanging out with many people and old friends (got a house party coming up, and love how much more focused I am on my side projects then when I was with her)

My mother is back home and doing better and things look pretty good. I also graduate with an I.T degree in less then a year.

 

***

To anyone struggling out there, keep strong my friends. There is light at the end of the tunnel is just a matter of getting closure with yourself. (If you don't believe me, read my first post on here and look how far along I've come in 47 days of NC)

 

I like how it went to "I lie what do you want me to say", which basically meant "suck it", to you winning the upper hand.

 

She sent you socks and condoms back hoping you'd contact her. Nobody sends unused condoms back, no :p

 

She probably realized she made a mistake. I would never contact her again, I can't stand liars.

 

Well, who's sucking it now :p

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NoLeafClover Established Member

NoLeafClover

Posted
  • Author
Posted

It's 4:30 ish PM and I am at work doing what I do best and my cel rings.

 

I go to pick it up then see that it's RESTRICTED. I froze for a second and I said to myself OH NO AGAIN.

 

I call my manager (a single female in her 40's which I get along very well. She is also fully aware of my situation) from my cubical as I am pointing at the screen on my phone. She tells me she wants to pick it up. I run to her cubical and hand over my phone to her all anxious as I had no clue what she had planned to say.

 

"Hello...Hello....Hello can I Help You?....Hellllooooooo?...." Hands me over the phone and I hang up.

 

She tells me she heard no background noise nothing. Noone said anything but the minutes were rolling.

 

I walk back to my cubical and it rings again. It rings 2-3 times but this time I decide to DENY the call. Call goes to Voicemail but no VM left.

 

Less then a minute later, my cel starts to ring again. I run to my manager's cubical and show her the phone again saying "What the Hell ?"

 

My manager picks up again, "....silence......Hello?...Can I Help You with anything?..." hands me over the phone whispering "Say Something" but I decide to hung up again.

 

I did not get any restricted calls again after that.

 

WTF is going on? I have never received any restricted phone calls since 5 years ago when I was in highschool.

  • Like 1
TaraMaiden Established Member

TaraMaiden

Posted
Posted

Three words:

 

Change.

Your.

Number.

 

(And don't tell me you can't do it. If you were moving country, you'd have to. Hell, if you were moving state, you might have to. So DO IT.)

  • Like 1
  • Author
NoLeafClover Established Member

NoLeafClover

Posted
  • Author
Posted (edited)
I like how it went to "I lie what do you want me to say", which basically meant "suck it", to you winning the upper hand.

 

She sent you socks and condoms back hoping you'd contact her. Nobody sends unused condoms back, no :p

 

She probably realized she made a mistake. I would never contact her again, I can't stand liars.

 

Well, who's sucking it now :p

I too believe she is having withdrawls but isn't this what she really wanted.

It's not even funny how predictable she is, at times I start to feel bad for her lol

 

...oh wait no I don't, she never gave a sh*t when I was at my worse when she walked all over my heart and sh*t on it while stringing me along. I forgive but don't forget. I will never forget the hopeless sleepless nights full of emptyness and denial. I would cry at most random times ever, I could be driving back home and would just hit me, or be watching a movie and start to ball. Im such an idiot I made a fool of myself like she was the last girl on earth.

"I have a problem with lying, what do you want me to say" - How is that even an excuse? That is the worse thing to say. Might as well say "I lie because I have no backbone and you should deal with it" Whatever happened to having some dignity for yourself and your actions? I feel uncomfortable when I tell people at work I'd call them back in 5 minutes and I end up calling them in 10.

 

What a joke... I should of just had sex with a random girl and run back to her and when she'd find out all I'd have to say is " I didn't tell you because I have a problem with lying...what do you want me to say"

 

My ex and I have had contact and even face to face meetings over the past 10 weeks of the break up. Only once did my ex contact me. Every other time it was me. Every time we broke NC I felt like we were going to get back. But it always ended worse than I could have ever imagined.

 

This sucks plain and simple. I'm still devastated.

Vortex I have read your posts ever since I signed up on here.

I know it's hard but please give it some time. Be strong and I promise you things will get better.

If you ever read my first post on here, you can see how devastated I was. I still think of my ex everyday but I also have come to terms with myself that she is not going to be the last chapter of my life. Think about how you were before you met your ex. Just how you met her you will be able to met someone new again sooner or later.

 

Your best thing to do is to keep them out of sight. I did not do this right after the BU, it took me a week or so. I would call and she would not even pick up. She would text back but not pick up. There were times she would even deny my calls and text me right back saying I don't want to talk right now, I am not ready. Before she'd pick up in a second or two but now TMZ and Family Guy became more important?

 

I was a fool to even let it go for that long, and I mean that from the bottom of my heart. I think about how down and upset I was, and how I sold my integrity out to her, I wish I could take it all back from that week.

Keep your head up and sooner or later you will be in a good place.

Edited by NoLeafClover
  • Author
NoLeafClover Established Member

NoLeafClover

Posted
  • Author
Posted
Three words:

 

Change.

Your.

Number.

 

(And don't tell me you can't do it. If you were moving country, you'd have to. Hell, if you were moving state, you might have to. So DO IT.)

I have thought about it but I'd have to call too many people, work, school, doctors, banks, social security offices and possibly other businesses I might not remember just to have them update my phone number on their systems.

 

I'm going to have to wait and see how things play out and hopefully I don't get anymore restricted calls....hopefully.

TaraMaiden Established Member

TaraMaiden

Posted
Posted
I have thought about it but I'd have to call too many people, work, school, doctors, banks, social security offices and possibly other businesses I might not remember just to have them update my phone number on their systems.

 

Yeah...?

 

So what?

 

Call them.

It's not a big deal. Like I said, if you were moving, you'd have to do it.

And most changes to details can be done on-line anyway....

 

When I moved to France from the UK, I had to call 18 businesses and 67 people to advise them.

I just got on with it and did them over about 3 days.

 

And if you don't know the businesses who 'might' have your number on their systems, then they're really not significant enough to matter.

Any business who needs your contact details will also probably have your address and email.

 

If they need to get in touch - they will.

Jono85 Established Member

Jono85

Posted
Posted

or just not pickup ANY calls that aren't in your contact list (obv restricted included). it's really not that hard. stop picking up the phone. eventually these ppl will fade away/give up. however if it sets you back quite a bit with every attempted contact, then sure, go ahead and change your number.

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