hollym Posted January 20, 2013 Share Posted January 20, 2013 Hi all--new to the forum and hoping I can find some clarity. I will try to be brief. I had a wonderful relationship with a guy who was just out of a marriage--I was the first he dated. I knew going in that it was probably not going to last because he would need to find a way to be himself before he could be a partner again. This was long-distance, but his work brought him to my place fairly often. Well, two wonderful, happy years (a few hiccups mostly having to do with his insecurity over my dating past) and he leaves. The breakup was warm, loving, tearful. No meanness, no cruelty. I asked him to give me space to begin to heal. Well, he respected it for a little while, but then started showing up, sending mixed messages. We still got along, still great times together--but he wasn't ready, he said, for a relationship. I told him it was hard on me to feel like a booty call. This went on for over a year--then NOTHING. I figured he had met someone and should have left it at that, but I emailed and got the answer I didn't want to hear. We had promised to be friends always. The next two years were so difficult--me always feeling unwelcome as a friend--communication stilted, cold, uncomfortable. Me falling apart more and more not understanding and feeling like an old sock thrown into the garbage without a second thought. He, I'm sure, feeling pressured and scared and conflicted as new girlfriend didn't even like that he gets along with his ex-wife, let alone ex girlfriend. Last new years eve, he finally said, "I need space" (which is kinda strange given the three years broken up and two with a new girlfriend) but I said OK, happy new year, and did not contact him again. A full year passed, I began to come back fully to me, though I still think about him every single day. Then, out of the blue I receive this text: I want to apologize to you for being a creep. My response was simply: ok to which he replied: Thank you I am confused. My thinking is he either joined a 12 step group, got dumped, is getting married---but it has really sent my head spinning. So I guess i'm looking for feedback. My reply was simple and ambiguous as hell--purposefully so. But now I just don't know how to deal with all the crap that has come up in my brain. How do i work through this? Link to post Share on other sites
ana0pera Posted January 20, 2013 Share Posted January 20, 2013 It seems like he keeps popping up in your life when you've made positive strides to move on. I would block his number and email so he can't contact you, it seems like you guys can't be friends and it isn't fair to you for him to just come at you with these messages when a year has passed with nothing. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author hollym Posted January 20, 2013 Author Share Posted January 20, 2013 It does seem that way. I guess what's really eating me is I'm both angry and confused. Why in the world would he even bother to do that? Link to post Share on other sites
mutant Posted January 20, 2013 Share Posted January 20, 2013 You shouldn't look too much into this. Seems like he genuinely wanted to apologize for being a jerk during and after your relationship. He probably thinks that you have moved on since it's been an year after BU. he also did not show any intention to stay in contact or be friends with you. Take this as a genuine apology and hopefully you will find it in yourself to forgive him Link to post Share on other sites
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