crashvector Posted January 19, 2013 Share Posted January 19, 2013 (edited) After about 2 hours of all of my friends calling me repeatedly to convince me to go out with them, I finally agreed. We all met, and I noticed there was someone else there that I did NOT know (which is odd). They introduced me to her, and I didnt think much of it after that...and got up to go get an actual wine list and find myself a glass of good stuff. After a while, one of my friends said "Well, all of us were thinking that since the two of you are in a similar situation, and we all know both of you very well...we KNOW you two would be really good together." It was really awkward, but I figured "what the hell...might as well have fun with this and what does it hurt to TALK to someone new?" so we chatted throughout dinner, etc. At the end of the evening, I was playing the polite gentleman role and walked her to her car. She said "Look, I know your situation, and I'm just saying I had a REALLY good time meeting you and would love to meet you again if you think it would be nice" I told her "Well, let me put it this way...I'm not over having my heart broken yet, and I know you understand. I know its over, and to be honest, after how she did it and how cold she was about it, I dont think I'd want to be back with her....but I don't think its wise for me to enter into a relationship with someone until I can give you 100% of my attention." Then...she kissed me. Like...out of the blue. It was weird...like...I know its not normal for a man to say this...but my knees got all weak and everything...I was very stunned by this, being as I never understood the whole "weak in the knees" thing until just then. She must have noticed I was stunned because she pulled back and said "you okay?" and I was all stuttering saying "I..uh...um...I...don't know what to do here." And she said "Well that's easy....kiss me BACK." Now, I'm NOT one to go rushing into anything...but holy SH*T I dont think that's EVER happened from a kiss before....I mean...the girl's got some serious talent lol. I'm normally VERY conservative about such things....but I cant deny...there were fireworks. Like LOTS of fireworks. I'm conflicted because I feel what I told her is the right thing to do....but there's something there with this woman. She has big brass balls I'll give her that...and holy COW is she a good kisser....I've never had my knees taken out from under me like that before from a simple kiss. she's obviously interested (duh!), and I have to admit...I'm intrigued as well. Edited January 19, 2013 by crashvector Link to post Share on other sites
Allumere Posted January 19, 2013 Share Posted January 19, 2013 LMAO...what it means my friend, contrary to everything you have gone thru is that you aren't dead yet 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author crashvector Posted January 19, 2013 Author Share Posted January 19, 2013 (edited) LMAO...what it means my friend, contrary to everything you have gone thru is that you aren't dead yet yeah, well, I was NOT expecting that. At all. I've never been rendered TRULY speechless before...but she accomplished it. I told my friends about what happened and they laughed and said "Uh oh...looks like you've FINALLY met your match...a woman that can keep YOU on YOUR toes for once." When I say I was stunned...I mean STUNNED. As in...I dont think I so much as took a breath for 2 full minutes. good LORD she knows how to kiss though lol Edited January 19, 2013 by crashvector Link to post Share on other sites
superb Posted January 19, 2013 Share Posted January 19, 2013 I think you should go with it! Open minded...but then again, that is also a scary thing to do. Good luck to you Link to post Share on other sites
ScienceGal Posted January 19, 2013 Share Posted January 19, 2013 Meeting someone new is vital to restoring hope (and obviously that kiss helped! ) Even if it doesn't turn into anything, you've been "WOWed" by someone new. Good for you for being honest with her. Tread carefully now though. Some women fall into the caretaker role and try to "fix" men who have been hurt. As long as no one is getting hurt, I say do what you feel is comfortable and enjoy 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author crashvector Posted January 19, 2013 Author Share Posted January 19, 2013 Meeting someone new is vital to restoring hope (and obviously that kiss helped! ) Even if it doesn't turn into anything, you've been "WOWed" by someone new. Good for you for being honest with her. Tread carefully now though. Some women fall into the caretaker role and try to "fix" men who have been hurt. As long as no one is getting hurt, I say do what you feel is comfortable and enjoy I guess part of it was the "shock factor"...she caught me COMPLETELY off guard. But yes...its safe to say she "WOWed" me alright. lol I dont think she's the caretaker type..lol...she's speaks sarcasm like a second language and is very smart. She's been messing with me all morning by text with stuff like "was it good for you? ha ha I couldnt tell." lol I dont think ive met another person than can make me laugh SO much that my face is sore... We'll see what happens... Link to post Share on other sites
Coping Vortex Posted January 19, 2013 Share Posted January 19, 2013 Go for it crash!!! Follow it!!!! I think things always run in up and down cycles. Looks like your down cycle was short you should be thankful. Some could take years to turn around. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author crashvector Posted January 19, 2013 Author Share Posted January 19, 2013 (edited) Go for it crash!!! Follow it!!!! I think things always run in up and down cycles. Looks like your down cycle was short you should be thankful. Some could take years to turn around. I'm not out yet...but what this HAS done...is give me hope...so for that I am thankful to her. However, she absolutely KILLS me she is so funny. Here's a text conversation from just a few minutes ago: ME: "If you are free tomorrow and want to meet up, I will put in all of my hours today (at work) so that I am free tomorrow." HER: "What did u have in mind ME: I'm not too familiar with the (her city) area. Movie? um....a walk? Uh...help me out here lol" HER: "Ure idea y i gotta help?!" ME: lol HER: One of your blondes would have fallen for that. she's making reference to the fact that both my exwife and exfiance are both blondes, and she's a brunette. I friended her on FB, and she unleashed more of her good-natured teasing, to an absolute chorus from my friends of "OMG...we LIKE this one!" and "She's the FIRST girl that you've met that we actually LIKE" and "Uh oh...looks like you finally met your match.", etc etc So...i'm doing reasearch on stuff we can do for sort of an informal "second date" I guess it would be...but I have NO idea wtf to do...she seems to like going out to dinner, but that's so...cliche. I guess what caught me so off-guard about this whole situation is that I didnt really even pay her much attention at dinner. Our friends introduced us, and I kinda just did the "Hi, how are you?" thing and pretty much left to go get the wine list lol. I didnt really pay her any special attention until one of my female friends said "Hey...can you walk with her to her car? We're parked over there and she's kinda far away." and i said "yeah, sure....I was gonna ask anyhow." Next thing I know...she's kissing me....like a knock your socks off kind of kiss lol I was SO shocked. Edited January 19, 2013 by crashvector Link to post Share on other sites
Amelie1980 Posted January 19, 2013 Share Posted January 19, 2013 I'm going to go against the consensus here and advise you to tread carefully. She knows your situation and how hurt you've been and yet she comes on to you? You need time to heal...you know how it feels to be hurt? I don't want to get involved as I compare everyone to my ex and I couldn't bare anymore.heartache. just be careful. Link to post Share on other sites
Author crashvector Posted January 19, 2013 Author Share Posted January 19, 2013 I'm going to go against the consensus here and advise you to tread carefully. She knows your situation and how hurt you've been and yet she comes on to you? You need time to heal...you know how it feels to be hurt? I don't want to get involved as I compare everyone to my ex and I couldn't bare anymore.heartache. just be careful. Thank you, Amelie. I am trying to force myself to slow down. This new girl is a widow. Her husband died about 2 1/2 years ago. Yeah, she came onto me, but I'll be honest, there WERE sparks during dinner, but i was forcing myself to ignore them. After last night, I came home and stayed up late thinking about things. When i really thought about it, I came up with this: If I'm having to work to ignore the fact that there most definitely sparks, then perhaps I am working on ignoring the wrong thing. See what I mean? It's almost like I was working to keep myself thinking about my exfiance and was completely ignoring the fact that right across the table from me was this pretty girl (she's no knockout, but her personality MORE than makes up for it trust me) who I was actually pretty interested in. I mean, physically speaking, she is outside of what I would normally be attracted to, but she has this luminescent personality that makes her far more beautiful than her physical looks. PLUS, she's got balls...and I really like that. Called me this morning and said "I just wanted to say good morning to you, and to thank you again for yesterday." so she's not all sarcasm and humor. I'm gonna keep my chin down and see what happens...but I DO know i'm not gonna actively work to ignore what could be a good thing. Link to post Share on other sites
Amelie1980 Posted January 19, 2013 Share Posted January 19, 2013 Of course not...but just tread very slowly. I'm just concerned ad to what you've been thru. There were amazing sparks on my first meeting with my ex. Never had chemistry like it. look how it ended.. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Chi townD Posted January 20, 2013 Share Posted January 20, 2013 LOL! WELL,WELL! I havevto agree with Amelie. Take it slow. It's obvious that you want to spend time with her. So, make it fun. You've already laid it out for her. That your a little stand offish about entering a new relationship, but you would love nothing more than taking her out on the town for some fun. I think she'll respect your honesty and it will take the pressure off so you two can actually relax and have fun! Now, girls like a take charge kinda guy. There's a really neat thing called the internet. Research her city and look for resturants that have gotten amazing reviews. Then, book a reservation. Then, see if there's a comedy club around her. Or a show or performance of some sort. Like Blue Man Group or STOMP... something along those lines...point is, she gonna love the fact that you took the time to look into things to try and give the two of you an amazing night out. That you thought of her enough to make these plans. And make it a surprise! Trust me, she'll love you for it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author crashvector Posted January 20, 2013 Author Share Posted January 20, 2013 I already lined things up. Called in a few favors with one of my friends who owns a restaurant in her city. Got her a rental mountain bike and im taking mine with us for some trail action Link to post Share on other sites
FailedFirstLove Posted January 20, 2013 Share Posted January 20, 2013 Sounds like your having alot of fun now. maybe it's a step you needed to move forward. I wish I found something to do to just live life. But I still miss him everyday. It's not getting any easier. Link to post Share on other sites
SharkTooth Posted January 20, 2013 Share Posted January 20, 2013 That's awesome! Finally a breath of fresh air. It brought a smile to my face when you describe the details. Hell, you know what to do now. I don't think you need any advice. Have fun! YOLO! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author crashvector Posted January 20, 2013 Author Share Posted January 20, 2013 That's awesome! Finally a breath of fresh air. It brought a smile to my face when you describe the details. Hell, you know what to do now. I don't think you need any advice. Have fun! YOLO! Yolo indeed. Link to post Share on other sites
Eternal Sunshine Posted January 20, 2013 Share Posted January 20, 2013 She is coming on REALLY strong. I always get a bad vibe when people do that, since it's always more to do with them than you.... Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted January 20, 2013 Share Posted January 20, 2013 (edited) crashvector - jeesh, stop over-thinking this! Just have some fun!! This doesn't have to be The One Next Great Love - it could just be two people having a ball! Take it for what it is - you are both at complete liberty to let your hair down and just enjoy each other for the sake of simply enjoying each other!! if it develops into something big - well, good on you. But if it's just two people, in this huge universe, connecting and letting go, then so be it. take each day as it comes. laugh, love, live and eat. But don't get yourself tied up in knots over-thinking this. A wall of caution is all very well, providing you don't build it so high that you can't see the "no bends for 200 miles" sign..... Edited January 20, 2013 by TaraMaiden Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts