Amelie1980 Posted January 14, 2013 Posted January 14, 2013 When will it end. Sorry he hurt me, hardest thing he's ever done, he may regret it in the future....he loved me so much. F--k. Happy to hear it but my heart is breaking AGAIN. I can't sleep now.
na49 Posted January 14, 2013 Posted January 14, 2013 Ouch. I'd imagine that's hard to hear. They're sorry they hurt you. They love you. BUT they don't want to be with you. I'm so sorry 1
Author Amelie1980 Posted January 14, 2013 Author Posted January 14, 2013 He keeps saying it could be the worst decision he ever makes..... I hope it is. 2
suladas Posted January 14, 2013 Posted January 14, 2013 If he keeps contacting you like that send a reply like "yes it was a big mistake that you will regret, now live with your decision and leave me alone." There is no reason to still have contact if they have made it clear they don't want to be with you. 6
Author Amelie1980 Posted January 14, 2013 Author Posted January 14, 2013 If he keeps contacting you like that send a reply like "yes it was a big mistake that you will regret, now live with your decision and leave me alone." There is no reason to still have contact if they have made it clear they don't want to be with you. I will do that...... 2
KraftDinner Posted January 14, 2013 Posted January 14, 2013 If he keeps contacting you like that send a reply like "yes it was a big mistake that you will regret, now live with your decision and leave me alone." There is no reason to still have contact if they have made it clear they don't want to be with you. Honestly I think this would be the best. He doesn't need to be effing with your emotions like that and it sends a clear message -- that you're worthy of respect and he can't just dick you around to clear his conscience or string you along. 2
MyAngel Posted January 14, 2013 Posted January 14, 2013 I don't get it, honestly. If they love you, think it's such a huge mistake etc then WHYYYYYY do they leave? Sorry hugs xx
NoMoreJerks Posted January 14, 2013 Posted January 14, 2013 That's just the guilt talking... He knew you were good to him and that he pulled a selfish d*ck move on you, and so he needs to relieve his guilt now... But the irony is that... he keeps being selfish... he is contacting you not because he wants to make you feel better, but because he wants to make himself feel better. So he pulls YET ANOTHER d*ck move out of his bag. It just never ends with this type of people. I wouldn't even respond or say anything about him regretting it. It would only show you as bitter. Sure, we are all bitter, but I'd never give my ex the satisfaction of seeing me bitter, especially that he was always so bitter about his exes dumping him. I certainly don't want to be acting the same way he was.
Own Worst Enemy Posted January 14, 2013 Posted January 14, 2013 subtext: i am having second thoughts, but not enough to ask you to come back, just enough to try and get you to comfort me. for dumping you. what a toolbag. if you can manage it, i think nothing is more powerful than silence. he will kill himself wondering why you haven't replied to what he will have thought an irresistible reach-out. if you have to say something, tell him that he made his decision and now you both have to live with it, goodbye.
Author Amelie1980 Posted January 14, 2013 Author Posted January 14, 2013 I am at my desk barely able to work.....my mental health is going under :-(
cavalier99 Posted January 14, 2013 Posted January 14, 2013 Sorry. I got the super nice email a few weeks ago. These are absolute killers. Messed me up for a couple of weeks. Sh*t i think I'm still a little messed up over it and i didn't even respond. It gets better but DON'T break NC or it will be worse. Hang in there. I know its rough. Have you deleted it yet? Now I can understand why people can delete an email from an EX without even reading it. Never did before. The nice ones especially are painful.
Author Amelie1980 Posted January 14, 2013 Author Posted January 14, 2013 No chance they will come back.
Author Amelie1980 Posted January 14, 2013 Author Posted January 14, 2013 He also dug the nail in by saying some friends & family didn't think we were right for each other. F--k sake......does he know how much he is hurting me.
Leigh 87 Posted January 21, 2013 Posted January 21, 2013 Sorry, this is all very messed up...... My relationship did not start on healthy grounds and still isnt according to some people on here... Yet no matter how bad things are for the people involved, many couples remain together regardless of how difficult their personal circumstances are. I was recovering from anorexia and was socially isolated and had no friends and was not familiar with being around people when i met my boyfriend, who was the opposite of me; very social and normal.... You would not think he would take on such a big task, of bothering to have a relationship with a women (me) who was so messed up.... Whats more - he was(is) very immature in many ways, and his mother, who he was extremely close to, just DIED before we met.... SO yeah; you would not GET a worse situation for us two to meet and start a relationship. In fact, to top it off: we were both AVERSE to relationships. Yet, we met, and could not stop seeing each other despite the worst possible circumstances in our personal lives. ................ After 9 months, you know enough about a person to know if you want them to stick by you through the hard times. When your sick or in trouble - people who are really in love and into the relationship tend to NEED you to comfort them. I am not purporting that my own relationship is a picture of health; I am mentally damaged and looking to get better and he has done some questionable things. Yet when things in life get hardd, it is not enough to stop a guy being into the relationship, if he wants it badly enough.........
AlexDP Posted January 21, 2013 Posted January 21, 2013 That's just the guilt talking... He knew you were good to him and that he pulled a selfish d*ck move on you, and so he needs to relieve his guilt now... But the irony is that... he keeps being selfish... he is contacting you not because he wants to make you feel better, but because he wants to make himself feel better. So he pulls YET ANOTHER d*ck move out of his bag. It just never ends with this type of people. I wouldn't even respond or say anything about him regretting it. It would only show you as bitter. Sure, we are all bitter, but I'd never give my ex the satisfaction of seeing me bitter, especially that he was always so bitter about his exes dumping him. I certainly don't want to be acting the same way he was. Why assume the worst in the people? Break ups are complex and can happen for a myriad of reasons. It's an unfortunate and probably inconsiderate e-mail, but it may not be entirely out of selfish reasons.. 3
ascendotum Posted January 21, 2013 Posted January 21, 2013 I don't get it, honestly. If they love you, think it's such a huge mistake etc then WHYYYYYY do they leave? Sorry hugs xx He said he loved her still but he did not say breaking up with her was a mistake. Its entirely possible to end up in relationship that as things progress, you realize you have made a mistake and this is not really want you want. How many short term relationships are there these days...so many. For instance ...She may have made the move on him, and he went along with things just because she was nice to him and they got along okay, he was single and it meant regular sex and companionship....but he was not crazy in love with her. Loved her because she was a sweet girl who was nice to him, but not enough to sustain a LTR. You often see the advice given on LS by people that if you don't really love your partner or you settled that it is unfair to stay in the relationship..both should be free to find fulfilling relationships with partners who deeply love them. In a situation such as this the guy often is going to feel bad breaking it off with the girl who has done no wrong, and some will want to help minimise the hurt to them by staying in contact and saying nice things about them. 1
Author Amelie1980 Posted January 21, 2013 Author Posted January 21, 2013 He said he loved her still but he did not say breaking up with her was a mistake. Its entirely possible to end up in relationship that as things progress, you realize you have made a mistake and this is not really want you want. How many short term relationships are there these days...so many. For instance ...She may have made the move on him, and he went along with things just because she was nice to him and they got along okay, he was single and it meant regular sex and companionship....but he was not crazy in love with her. Loved her because she was a sweet girl who was nice to him, but not enough to sustain a LTR. You often see the advice given on LS by people that if you don't really love your partner or you settled that it is unfair to stay in the relationship..both should be free to find fulfilling relationships with partners who deeply love them. In a situation such as this the guy often is going to feel bad breaking it off with the girl who has done no wrong, and some will want to help minimise the hurt to them by staying in contact and saying nice things about them. in my case, he made all the moves, he came to me, we hardly had any sex, we didn't sleep together for 5.months. I didn't push him, make demands and he fell in love with me before we slept together. He.checked out.with all his problems.
almosteverythingx Posted January 21, 2013 Posted January 21, 2013 He shouldn't say stuff like that. Until the day he truly regrets it and wants you back properly as in a 'relationship' he should leave you be. Him saying this just toys with your emotions. My ex did the exact same thing and it made me go a hundred steps back when I was getting on with my life. Please cut him off from your life and if he does regret it and you still want him back then thats great. But for now I think no contact is the best thing... let him realise if he is making a mistake... space and time can only tell.
Author Amelie1980 Posted January 21, 2013 Author Posted January 21, 2013 He shouldn't say stuff like that. Until the day he truly regrets it and wants you back properly as in a 'relationship' he should leave you be. Him saying this just toys with your emotions. My ex did the exact same thing and it made me go a hundred steps back when I was getting on with my life. Please cut him off from your life and if he does regret it and you still want him back then thats great. But for now I think no contact is the best thing... let him realise if he is making a mistake... space and time can only tell. I hope he does regret it and realise it was a mistake. By which time I don't think I will have him back.
HeavenOrHell Posted January 21, 2013 Posted January 21, 2013 If you got back together wouldn't all the problems still be there? They don't magically go away.
Author Amelie1980 Posted January 21, 2013 Author Posted January 21, 2013 If you got back together wouldn't all the problems still be there? They don't magically go away. I don't mean relationship problems...it was external factors. He's better now and has a new job......
HeavenOrHell Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 You said 'He.checked out.with all his problems.' Have ALL those problems now gone? If they have and you both think there's a chance you could make a go of it now then why not ask him if you can talk? If he doesn't want to then that's your answer, so you can then make a clean break and move on. Hard, I know. Good luck. I don't mean relationship problems...it was external factors. He's better now and has a new job......
Recommended Posts