bachelorstatus Posted December 11, 2012 Posted December 11, 2012 (edited) I'm 21... had my world crushed and heart broken this year in June by the first girl I have ever truly been "in love" with. 6 months later and the best way to describe the way I feel is... "I cope", 5 days feeling egotistical and positive, 2 days feeling a deep wounding sense of loss and sad... that's basically my weekly emotions. 3 weeks ago I was on facebook, there's this girl I have seen once or twice around the area, but not for a long time... and judging by her pictures she had changed a lot... natural beauty to the absolute maximum is what I thought when I seen her pics... so I added her, surely she'll recognize me.. And she did, she messaged saying hello within 10 minutes of adding her and we talked all night, she was hinting to come and chill with me "thinking she could beat me in a game of FIFA:laugh:"... 2 nights later she came to my house and of course I let her win a few games before I surprise 14-0 her out of the blue like a boss... That turns into play fighting.. lips land... you know the rest. She left in the morning, this is where I would usually look in the mirror and say good job... another one night stand.. But we talked more that night on fb and to fastforward she came to my house almost every night for the following weeks, we went out for a drink together a few times too.. the usual... up until last night... Last night I did some serious thinking, this girl is literally BEAUTIFUL, and she has the personality to match it, 10/10 to be honest... ok I really like her I've got a crush... she feels the same, this is great right? WAITTTT AAAA MINUTEEEEE, this seems awfully familiar, I know this feeling, I've been here before... and as a direct result of it 7 months later I almost... "did something extremely stupid" finding myself at the lowest point in my entire life, am I really going to risk feeling like that again? NOT A CHANCE IN HELL. I literally can not go there, I called her last night and let her down gently, she seemed disappointed but coolish... but her friend messaged me on facebook today calling me an A.hole, accusing me of leading her on, telling me that she felt amazing and spoke really highly of me and that I've just crushed her... I feel kind of bad, but my own issues overpower that feeling by a long shot, this girl is definitely a heart breaker and any guy is going to be lucky to have her, I wish I could do it.. and I feel like a sissy for what I'm doing but... nobody understands how messed up I actually am from my ex and I can't go through that again... Talk some sense to me... Edited December 11, 2012 by bachelorstatus
Mcnulty Posted December 11, 2012 Posted December 11, 2012 In the same boat mate. Gorgeous girl, natural blonde, personality and looks to match...what did i do...backed off and dropped contact...like a pussy, partly due to my past betrayal from the ex and partly unlike you due to my illness. Time, tgat is what will help you..it's not time yet, for either of us and wouldn't be fair on them or us at the mo. Forgive yourself...I'm trying to, so you must too.
Nightsky Posted December 11, 2012 Posted December 11, 2012 Must not be the right girl if you can just dump her so easily because you're to afraid to have a real relationship again.
Author bachelorstatus Posted December 12, 2012 Author Posted December 12, 2012 Must not be the right girl if you can just dump her so easily because you're to afraid to have a real relationship again. It's not easy, I want this girl like I want 10 million in cash, but if I know that sooner or later that 10 million in cash is going to burn me like the last one did... what do I do...
CptSaveAho Posted December 12, 2012 Posted December 12, 2012 There is nothing wrong with having fun with a girl, even if you have a crush on her and then letting her go... Tell her friend to go screw herself. (this is all that needs to be said) You obviously aren't ready for a relationship otherwise you would have continued.
livelife Posted December 12, 2012 Posted December 12, 2012 May I ask where you are from? You sound an awful like my ex.... 1
Author bachelorstatus Posted December 12, 2012 Author Posted December 12, 2012 May I ask where you are from? You sound an awful like my ex.... I'm from the UK, I just read some of your previous posts and I can safely say that I am definitely not your ex lol.
Mumbles Posted December 12, 2012 Posted December 12, 2012 Its fear mate - don't let fear rule your life. One day, you're gonna die, and everything you built and hoped for will be gone, within two generations no-one will even remember your name ... does that mean you shouldn't bother with life? No, of course not. Life is short, you can't know whats coming, you just can't. Relationships inherently come with the possibility of a broken heart and real pain, and so does life in general. But live it, enjoy what you have, your life, your girl, suck it all up. If you haven't already broken this relationship completely then ring her up, right now, and be completely honest about what caused you to do this and don't do it again. Think about it - you want to break up with her in case in the future you break up with her? If I had a wet fish on me I'd give you a reality slap with it right now (in a friendly way of course: ) Relationships have their own life, and lifespan. I had a really great marriage for 10 years. Its over now. Should I not have got married? No way, it was the best time in my life. My relationship with my wife reached its natural lifespan...thats all. If I could have another 10 years like that, and _knew_ for certain it would end, in a nasty horrible, damaging way for me, I'd still be onto that in 2 seconds flat. 1
itsmyfault Posted December 12, 2012 Posted December 12, 2012 Here is my opinion... Sometimes in life you have to jump in head first and forget the What if's. If you like this girl and you have fun, why would you throw it away? you Ex is your Ex, its in the past, you need to move on. Not everyone is going to hurt or crush you, If you live in fear of being hurt you will never do anything.
Bumaga vsyo sterpit Posted December 12, 2012 Posted December 12, 2012 Psh. Well, I commend you for having the power to pause for some introspection, and the strength to stop something dead in its tracks that you know beforehand is probably going to hurt you. Too many guys do the perfect opposite. But if you have those feelings, is it possible to completely internalize them, and be much more engrossed in yourself than in a girlfriend? This is what I'm working on. Maybe your problem is not the ex, it's that you're really lonely and not all that focused on yourself or your projects right now. As a result, something like this happens and you're swept off your feet (lol). I think in the future you should either wait for the girl to get bored and fade away (no feelings really expressed or invested, thus no loss) or give her a response like this when she does, verbally, start expressing feelings for you. The old "I like you a lot, but I'm afraid to fall in love" is more familiar and acceptable to women and suddenly breaking everything off. This girl showed through her actions that she does like you a lot, but she didn't really say anything like love or trying to make you exclusive/official. Perhaps you should have waited until she really said something that worried or bothered you. Anyway, I think you have a good chance with her, based on your behavior so far! Chances are she thinks she's more into you than you're into her, and as the dumper you have the upper hand. Keep it that way.
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