th90 Posted November 13, 2012 Posted November 13, 2012 My exbf broke up with me last week. To cut things short, we have been together for 7 years but I'm only 22 now. We started dating since high school and been through so many things together. We were doing LDR for the past 4 years though because he left for another country to do his degree. But everytime he was back, it was the best thing in the world. We were great together. Everything was the way it was until last week when he said we should break and he insisted on it. And the only reason he told me was he doesnt feel the same anymore. He said the problem is with him, not me. So no matter what I do, I couldnt possibly change his mind. I was extremely devastated because we have already made so many plans for the future and shared so many dreams together. The only thing that kept me going all these years was the dreams that we had. That one day, we would be married and live together and never be apart again. However, 3 days later he texted me and said we should talk because he thought he knew what was best(the breakup) but his heart was contradicting it. I had hopes again that we would reconcile. But the next day, he told me he still thought that the break up is what's best for both of us. And I felt my heart getting crushed again. We have NC for 4 days now. I have been reading alot of break up tips to get me through this. Initially, my whole system was breaking down but I've picked up slowly. The hardest thing for me is the morning when I wake up and reality slaps me hard. And it takes the entire morning to digest the fact that he is gone from my life. I'm currently stuck between letting go and having hope. I dont know. I dont know whether this is just him having GIGS or he really wants to spend his whole life without me. He has been the closest person to me for the past 7 years. I've been doing everything with him. And it's hard that I can no longer have anything to do with him or even talk to him like how we used to. I know I'm still young but I never thought of sharing my life with anybody else. We basically grew up together. If you ask me, I really want him back but I'm not going to beg or plead him because I know it's gonna be pointless if he doesn't think I'm the one for him right now. I dont really know what to do now. And I've been trying so hard not to check on his facebook,emails,etc. It's also really tempting to know whether he has changed his password to all his accounts as we share the same passwords. And what about our messages,wall posts and photos? I dont have the heart to delete them and I know I wont be able to move on if I dont but right now I cant do it.
itsmyfault Posted November 13, 2012 Posted November 13, 2012 Hi, I broke up with my GF 3 months ago. I want her Back, she said we couldnt get back together "right now" Maybe we would in the future, She doesn't want me to move on to another girl. "she would love to come back to me, but she just can't atm" "i have to be myself for abit" These are all things she has said to me. I know I hurt her but we had something so special, I know she didnt want it to end. She was was annoyed i didnt realise she was it sooner. All of these things she said kept me living in hope, kept me talking to her, being friendly. Then I realised... She doesnt want a relationship with me anymore, she just wants someone to be there for her. There is nothing wrong with living in hope, Hope is a great thing. Who knows what will happen in the future. But please don't do what i did, don't be a puppy dog, If he wants to move on, he will just like my Ex did, and in the end you are just prolonging your own mental torture. Keep posting here, We are all here to listen and to help.
Author th90 Posted November 14, 2012 Author Posted November 14, 2012 @itsmyfault : Hi, thank you for the reply. I get what you're saying. In fact, 2 months back, my ex mentioned that he wanted to explore. He said he wanted to be single but was afraid that he might regretted it if in any case he wants me back in the future and I dont want to be with him anymore or I have found someone else. He also asked for us to be friends and still talk but I have refused to do that because it will only retards my capability to move on. Then again, I know right now he ain't coming back for me but I still have hopes that he will miraculously turns up at my door and says he's sorry for everything. I agree with you that I'm just prolonging my mental torture. Sigh.. @mskaye2008 : Hi, well what you said is true. In time, I will find love again. But the problem is there is this part of me that is refusing to move on because I'm having hope. From the way you have put it, I guess you're much older than me, thus more experienced. My mum has been telling me it's part of life. Sometimes things just dont work out the way you expect them to. I get it and I get it. It's been hard and the hardest and darkest hours of my life since the break up is actually over. I guess my problem is I just dont know when to REALLY REALLY stop having hope and move on for good.
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