He's breaking up with me and I don't want to let him go

[smcauley23]

My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 3 years, and he just broke up with me. We started dating when I was 17 and he was 19, and he took my virginity. I guess in the first year and a half I was a little to up tight and bitchy and that started to make him act the same way toward me. ( I really regret being that way.) I think that I pushed him away. We really click when we are together, and I love him more than anything. a little over a year ago we moved into an apartment together. Overall it wasn't that bad but our fights got really extreme, ( he would say really hurtful things to me,) things that I thought I'd never here come out of anybody's mouth, especially someone who is supposed to love me. He has expressed in the past that we fight too much and he wants to break up, but we never did.

 

After a year, our lease was up and we moved in together into the top floor of his mom's house. Now it is 3 weeks later. A week ago he broke up with me, but after me crying and being really upset for a day he said we could maybe work it out for a little while, but he still doesn't want to be together long term. He says that he can't see us getting married some day, and he is young and maybe he should see other people. I have a sense of pride in that I should say I don't care and just let him go, but I honestly think there is no one that I will love more than him. He says he loves me so much, he just has to do this. The obvious thing for me to do is just let him go, but I am really in love with him, I don't know what to do. It would kill me to see him with someone else. This morning he told me that he just can't help feeling down inside that he just isn't happy. I don't want him to be with me if he doesn't want to, I'm just so hurt. Please help.

 

-Stephanie

Kirkland WA

[fredrolin]

Let the dust settle, just hang out with friends and date other guys if anyone interesting comes along.

 

If you 2 are meant to get back together it will happen. But in the mean time give him some space and go out and have some fun. You are young...and there is a whole world out there.

 

If you nag him and pressure him to stay with you he will probably push you further away.

[BklynGuy]

A few years of your life with someone doesn't just go away. You will have the feelings of "no one else is right for me, I can't see him w/someone else." You are still young and there are plenty of other guys out there.

 

Some people don't want to stay with the same person forever....it hurts, but it's a fact. I know, I was in your shoes. In time you will heal and everything will be on the up and up. Give yourself time, grieve as necessary, and you will move on.

 

Don't dwell on could have or should have.... You have learned from this experience and that is what life is all about. Best of luck.

[calithin83]

youre ME...i read your writing and i swear i thought i had written it...ive been with my bf for 3 years to and we are both young-im 20 soon 21 and hes 19 soon 21.

 

anyways we lost our virginity together which got us really attached, there was a point where he told me he was in love with me..and now 2 months ago he told me he didnt love me..or that he wasnt sure anymore...obviosuly this KILLED ME inside cos just like u..i dont wanna be with anyone else, i know that the rightything to do is dump him and be like forget him, but I COULDNT..i still remained with him...but u know what...when someone starts acting strange and unhappy with u..its really hard to let go but its going to hurt more if u remain...in my case i remained..i decided that i still wanted to be with him...but now he broke up with me and now i cant be with him even if i want to..i feel sad cos i dont wanna be with someone else, i really love my ex bf illan and hes the only i see myself with...and it sux because when they dump u it just feels like those 3 years or what ever time was a waste of time, it feels like all the love u gave to them didnt matter cos they still left u..but i dunno im trying real hard to think positive and think that this is for the best..agaiint this isnt easy..

 

my best advice to you is to tell yourself that YOURE STRONG, pray to Jesus Christ to give you strength and to help you, and if you have to let go...it wont be easy..u will need lots of time...just take it DAY by DAy...trust me the beginning is the worse...

today is my 1st day being single and ive gone from tears, to desperation, to postitive thinker, to sad, and all these weird things..i really miss him and in my heart hes still my bf, hes still my sweetheart..but in reality..in life right now hes not...hes gone and hes proabbly never gonna be mine again..and that kills me!! it does!! but i will trust in GOd, iw ill think about my family, about my friends, about MYSELF..and realize that even though I do love this guy alot and i shared SO much with him and hes the only guy ive ever had sex with it doesnt mean imma be miserable my whole life...right now its obvious i do feel offf..cos im not used to being without him..but....

 

ill keep u updated and tell u how it is after a while...liek the saying goes "you have to have rain, to see the rainbow"..and its true its not going to be easy to forget him or let him go, and no matter what people tell u:it kinda helps but not really cos either way ure gonna do what ure heart tells u to do..and u gotta not let ure heart control u cos if u do its just gonna get broken...think logical..if hes not happy, dont hold him back! i did that..and look at me now..he broke up with me anyways and even worse..he thinks that im never gonna get over him cos he knows i love him so much cos i also begged him to please not do this, i tried to knock some sense into him..but...he made up his mind and now what can i do??? guys just dont think like us and the more we try to cling and try to hold on to them..the faster and sooner they will run away!

 

goodluck and pray for me..ill pray for u 2! have faith in Jesus he will never leave you!