Squidoo Posted September 11, 2012 Posted September 11, 2012 Well I did it, I broke NC and asked if he would like to meet up for coffee at some point. He did respond quickly, but the reply I got was "when things slow down". I'm taking this as him letting me down gently rather say a flat out no! What do you think am I right or wrong in thinking that?
flitzanu Posted September 11, 2012 Posted September 11, 2012 Well I did it, I broke NC and asked if he would like to meet up for coffee at some point. He did respond quickly, but the reply I got was "when things slow down". I'm taking this as him letting me down gently rather say a flat out no! What do you think am I right or wrong in thinking that? maybe it means when things slow down.
TopCat22 Posted September 11, 2012 Posted September 11, 2012 Either one of two things I reckon: 1) He wants to meet but doesn't want to seem to keen 2) He's not interested and doesn't want to say it Not much help I know, but I'd leave it a week and then ask again.
flitzanu Posted September 11, 2012 Posted September 11, 2012 often wisdom is in NOT READING BETWEEN THE LINES you could avoid all this drama by...not talking to him anymore. are you trying to suffer?
Crila16 Posted September 11, 2012 Posted September 11, 2012 I hate saying this...but that's exactly what he means. Think about it in the reverse. If it's a guy you're crazy about who finally asks you to meet up to talk, would you say no? Of course you wouldn't. If it were a guy you weren't interested in...you'd probably tell him you have to wash your hair...or your aunts in town. It's the same for him. It's actually the same for anyone who likes someone. Men and women aren't any different. If he's saying "when things slow down." He's putting you off longer, trying to avoid the situation. In other words...yes. It's a nice way of saying no. 1
geegirl Posted September 11, 2012 Posted September 11, 2012 "I split from my ex 10 weeks ago, we dated for 9 months but prior to this we we're friends with benefits for 3 years. it was my doing to finish the relationship but regretted it immediately. I apologized but he didn't want to know. I let him be & he did contact me every so many days via text, I played it cool until he wanted me to go to his for a coffee. He was making comments about how my sexual drive was & I guessed what he was after & said I didn't want to be a part of that...... But stupidly I did and ended up having sex. He said he wanted to go back to fwb, but I said it was unfair on me, & he couldn't have his cake and eat it. Fast forward to 2 nights ago, i had been speaking to him via text & he was being suggestive & I was playing along a little. I did meet up with him & we did have sex, but he was different, he was quite aggressive, he slapped my backside so hard i have a hand bruise there. He also urinated on me & then when i went to give him a bj he urinated in my mouth... I was so shocked! But then he told me some things that surprised me, he told me he has been wanking in public and getting a big thrill from it and that he also wants to go dogging and do golden showers more. He seems quite perverse all of a sudden and not the person I've known in the past. I have missed him and was wanting to go back to fwb, but yesterday he said that we should just be friends & that he thinks I need more but doesn't want to burn his bridges. I am being over sensitive or is this guy perverse? But what worries me more is has he just started being like this or has he always been like it? I also feel so humiliated after saying I wanted to go back to fwb and he has said no. Opinions would be appreciated . Oh he also says he wants full reports on any of my sexual events!" Your post above clearly shows that this man's intentions with you have been just sexual. Let this man go for god's sake. I retract my advice about communicating like adults. He's clearly telling you he wants you as a FWB. That's his communication to you. If you can't be an FWB, let him go. If you hate him peeing in your mouth, find someone that won't. If you want someone to love you, seek a relationship. You felt humilated after he declined FWB offer and yet you ask him for coffee? This is not about him anymore. You can't take the rejection and you can't stomach the feelings of abandonment. Clearly something that is deep rooted that you need to figure out because this just blows my minds that you choose to lower yourself to such extents to get this man's validation. 1
Crila16 Posted September 11, 2012 Posted September 11, 2012 Oh God...Just read the post above. Did you date John Mayer or something? This man has no respect for you. He urinated on you and then in your mouth. What a scumbag. Drop him like a boulder sweetie....what a horrible disgusting creep. He's just using you for sex. Get the book Dating Without Drama by Page Parker. It would really benefit you well.
Author Squidoo Posted September 11, 2012 Author Posted September 11, 2012 (edited) Yes you're right geegirl it's totally about rejection! However on the upside his reply didn't hurt me, so I'm going to take this as a positive outcome! Edited September 11, 2012 by Squidoo
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