youngnlove89 Posted August 30, 2012 Posted August 30, 2012 I feel RELIEVED! I was talking on the phone this morning to my mom and the first thing I told her was "I am happy and I'm done with my ex, I've had enough, I gave it everything I could and I have nothing else to give." We continued to talk about everything else besides asshat and then my mom had to get off the phone and she said one more thing, she said, "I'm proud of you, you know why? Because for the first time in a long time our conversation didn't revolve around your ex-bf. And that makes me feel like you are finally moving on, that you are finally letting go." I didn't think about it till she told me that. I know all of my conversations have revolved around him, everyday, every minute. I would talk my mom's ear off with how I planned on getting him back, what he told me, whether he called me or not, justifying every text msg, every call, every email. And for the first time, I didn't even think about him while talking on the phone with my mom. It could just be a moment of happiness (and it will probably come and go), but I really feel that I've had enough of him. I think it's that moment where you realize you have done all you can do and now it's time to let go. I think I needed to know that I tried my hardest and I didn't just give up. I think I needed to go through that. I am very happy. I have been going through this breakup for a long time now, about 2 months of deciding whether to stay or go, whether to try harder or give up...and now I'm exhausted, I have no more energy for him. I am relieved of this strain, this stress, I have no weight on my shoulders. I am done with his mind games! I am done with him hurting me. I am done with his mixed signals. I am done being his puppet. I am moving on. 6
KatZee Posted August 30, 2012 Posted August 30, 2012 I had a moment of clarity last night as well. Not in regards to the ex since I've been done with that for a little while now... but just how much importance we place on these things. I'm big into psychic mediums and I have two that I specifically go to, they are truly blessed people. Anyway, last night was an event from one of them, it was a benefit to a woman I knew in my life for a brief period. She was diagnosed with Stage 4 breast cancer, and she lost her battle and died just last week. This psychic event was done in her memory, and all money collected from it is going to her husband, and three children she has left behind. Just seeing what they are all going through... this woman was the glue that held them all together. She was truly an angel on earth, and I can't even fathom the pain they are all feeling. She and her husband were high school sweethearts, dating from age 16, until now. They've spent 30 years together, and she was taken from him and their three children so quickly. She was there last night, sending messages to them. I can't for the life of me feel justified in spending one more second dwelling on people that treat us terribly, we put so much effort in regards to thoughts, emotions, thinking about people not worth us, when there are so many other things going on in the world, and so many others suffering so much worse. I can't justify spending a second wondering if the guy who cheated on me, lied to my face time and time again will come back, or if he'll ever regret what he did. I no longer care. It's not worth it. It's not worth my mental energy. I forgive him, and I move forward. That's it. From this medium: "Remember, we only grow & evolve by overcoming the toughest of times in our lives. Learning to cope with loss is a lesson we all encounter at some point." What has gone on with all of us isn't to punish us, or because we're bad people, or because we're not worthy of love. It's just another lesson. And that lesson we carry on with us to the next. The only tragedy would be learning nothing, and repeating the same mistakes in the future. 1
Author youngnlove89 Posted August 30, 2012 Author Posted August 30, 2012 I can't for the life of me feel justified in spending one more second dwelling on people that treat us terribly, we put so much effort in regards to thoughts, emotions, thinking about people not worth us, when there are so many other things going on in the world, and so many others suffering so much worse. I can't justify spending a second wondering if the guy who cheated on me, lied to my face time and time again will come back, or if he'll ever regret what he did. I no longer care. It's not worth it. It's not worth my mental energy. I forgive him, and I move forward. That's it. Thank you for that story. Beautiful. It really does show you life is too short to spend crying over a jerk who didn't treat you well. Last week a good friend of mine lost her younger brother in a motorcycle accident (he was 17 years old). It was so sad and it made me realize how short life is. I'm crying over a jerk face and her family is mourning over a loss that is so deep and profound, someone who they truly cared about and someone who made their lives fuller. My ex made my life empty. He made me sad and unhappy. He made me anxious, angry and upset all the time. It took me a long time to realize how miserable he made me. I feel stupid for not realizing all the red flags when they were right in front of me. It isn't worth it anymore, HE isn't worth it anymore. I'm letting go of the pain and welcoming happiness now. And you know what? Before all this clarity, I wanted to date agian and meet other guys, probably as a rebound. But now I just want to be single. I want to enjoy life, family and friends. I want to fall in love with ME again and love life and when the next guy comes around, it will be when I'm ready. And I will fall in love with a guy who makes me happy, not who makes me miserable. 1
KatZee Posted August 30, 2012 Posted August 30, 2012 My ex made my life empty. He made me sad and unhappy. He made me anxious, angry and upset all the time. It took me a long time to realize how miserable he made me. I feel stupid for not realizing all the red flags when they were right in front of me. Likewise. I thought I was so happy. I realized I was only happy with what I thought I had. At the end of the day I was just like you. Angry often. Paranoid. Anxious. Full of tension. On edge. Walking on egg-shells. Waiting for the next time he'd tell me what was wrong with me. It's so odd to me. Since the split my whole family tells me how good I look now. I didn't know I had looked so terrible when I was with him. All of that severely weighs you down.
olivec Posted August 30, 2012 Posted August 30, 2012 I can't for the life of me feel justified in spending one more second dwelling on people that treat us terribly, we put so much effort in regards to thoughts, emotions, thinking about people not worth us, when there are so many other things going on in the world, and so many others suffering so much worse. I can't justify spending a second wondering if the guy who cheated on me, lied to my face time and time again will come back, or if he'll ever regret what he did. I no longer care. It's not worth it. It's not worth my mental energy. I forgive him, and I move forward. That's it. Thank you for that story. Beautiful. It really does show you life is too short to spend crying over a jerk who didn't treat you well. Last week a good friend of mine lost her younger brother in a motorcycle accident (he was 17 years old). It was so sad and it made me realize how short life is. I'm crying over a jerk face and her family is mourning over a loss that is so deep and profound, someone who they truly cared about and someone who made their lives fuller. My ex made my life empty. He made me sad and unhappy. He made me anxious, angry and upset all the time. It took me a long time to realize how miserable he made me. I feel stupid for not realizing all the red flags when they were right in front of me. It isn't worth it anymore, HE isn't worth it anymore. I'm letting go of the pain and welcoming happiness now. And you know what? Before all this clarity, I wanted to date agian and meet other guys, probably as a rebound. But now I just want to be single. I want to enjoy life, family and friends. I want to fall in love with ME again and love life and when the next guy comes around, it will be when I'm ready. And I will fall in love with a guy who makes me happy, not who makes me miserable. Your doing everything right and you will find someone when the time is right. the first step is always the hardest which is letting go and accepting its over. and trust me after my last breakup i felt like rushing into dating again also and i did go on a few dates and nothing clicked between me and any of the girls i was talkin to because at that point i didn't let go of my feelings for my ex. i think the main thing for me to get over was the extreme dissapointment it caused. i'm in my 30's and i'm at the stage i wanna settle down and have a family. my ex led me to believe she wanted that to. unfortunately she changed her mind at some point during our relationship. however i look back now and i'm glad we were only together for about a year and learned from the experience.
Author youngnlove89 Posted August 30, 2012 Author Posted August 30, 2012 Having a hard time... Why does this feeling come and go?
Mike_d Posted August 30, 2012 Posted August 30, 2012 normal, have faith that it is only temporary. just keep the clock ticking and be kind to self
Author youngnlove89 Posted August 30, 2012 Author Posted August 30, 2012 normal, have faith that it is only temporary. just keep the clock ticking and be kind to self Thanks. Both feelings are temporary, both don't last long. I just wish the good feeling did.
sissy106 Posted September 8, 2012 Posted September 8, 2012 I feel RELIEVED! I was talking on the phone this morning to my mom and the first thing I told her was "I am happy and I'm done with my ex, I've had enough, I gave it everything I could and I have nothing else to give." We continued to talk about everything else besides asshat and then my mom had to get off the phone and she said one more thing, she said, "I'm proud of you, you know why? Because for the first time in a long time our conversation didn't revolve around your ex-bf. And that makes me feel like you are finally moving on, that you are finally letting go." I didn't think about it till she told me that. I know all of my conversations have revolved around him, everyday, every minute. I would talk my mom's ear off with how I planned on getting him back, what he told me, whether he called me or not, justifying every text msg, every call, every email. And for the first time, I didn't even think about him while talking on the phone with my mom. Dear I also feel the same way...I too had been thinking about my ex every moment since we had the relationship, it is really tough to let go all those thoughts from ur mind... I feel emptiness in my heart and dont enjoy any good moments happily as I used to do when I was with him, I am trying hard to forget him, but its not enough. I feel sad when I think that I have to spent my life without him, and feel I can never be that happy again in my life again, seems like I have lost my real laugh.
sissy106 Posted September 8, 2012 Posted September 8, 2012 Your doing everything right and you will find someone when the time is right. the first step is always the hardest which is letting go and accepting its over. and trust me after my last breakup i felt like rushing into dating again also and i did go on a few dates and nothing clicked between me and any of the girls i was talkin to because at that point i didn't let go of my feelings for my ex. i think the main thing for me to get over was the extreme dissapointment it caused. i'm in my 30's and i'm at the stage i wanna settle down and have a family. my ex led me to believe she wanted that to. unfortunately she changed her mind at some point during our relationship. however i look back now and i'm glad we were only together for about a year and learned from the experience. Dear Olivec, I have read many of ur threads and u remind me of my ex alot. Would u mind goin thru my posts and answering my questions.
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