AnchordHeart Posted August 1, 2012 Posted August 1, 2012 I dont feel like i'm up to typing out my whole story. I'm just feeling so much hurt right now. I was friends with the boy of my dreams for three years. He was my friend's ex, which is how I met him. Even after me and said friend were no longer close, I ask permission before allowing myself to date him (He had a crush on me for the longest time!) Our relationship was romantic and passionate, and started very fast. We were both 17- seniors at the same highschool. Very close. Basically, before we dated, he had a very short and rocky relationship with a girl nicknamed Moose, from the next state over. She was a friend of his ex- the one that was my friend at one point. Basically, said friend had gone very much out of her way to bring Moose to large get-togethers or parties that me and my (now ex)Boyfriend attended. My friend admitted it was to make my boyfriend angry. He didn't really care, and he doted on me, and we stayed very close the whole time. Eventually they started texting after I said it would be okay. She told him how it seems I had 'mounted his balls on the wall' and he could have at least said hi to her. I was irritated, but thankful he allowed me to see the messages. (I didnt ask.) 5 months into the relationship I found my boyfriend to be acting a little off. Quiet and thoughtful. I went into his facebook without telling him, and read what he had been saying to her. He told her how He still had feelings for her, and when things ended with me, they could be together again. I was heartbroken. The shame I felt for snooping was quickly replaced by pain and heartache. I nearly ended it there, but he cried, and begged, and came over that day. We cuddled and cried and I let him explain. I told him i'd forgive him. For awile I let them continue to talk, but it was a drain on me. This is when he started to emotionally detach himself from me. At the time, I had no idea. That friend I mentioned ended up bringing Moose to our senior Prom. They started trouble with my friend, and I kept my boyfriend very close to me that night. They even followed my boyfriend, best friend, and I to the movies afterwards. Wat. She texted him telling him how I was 'Practically marking my territory' I was constantly worried and paranoid. I got tired of feeling like I HAD to check his phone. That's not how a relationship should be. So I calmly asked him to stop contacting her, and he agreed. Finally, one last party was scheduled for the end of the month and we agreed not to go. My relationship with my old friend had become too hard for me to deal with, and I knew Moose was gonna be there. He decided he was going to go, because my best friend was sleeping over that night. We hardly spoke that day, but when I felt the party was nearly over, I was asking him how it went, did my exfriend say anything?, did Moose say anything? He told me I was stalking him. I was upset. I proceeded to ask him why he was even dating me. (Texting, by the way.) He responded with 'Seriously?' He refused to respond to me at all, didnt show up for my graduation party the next day, and finally he answered when I threatened to show up at his house. He broke up with me over the phone, and I made all the mistakes I shouldnt have, like begging, pleading, ect. It didnt change anything. The next day he came to get his things, acted like everything was chill, and I kept my cool as best I could. He kissed me goodbye when I quietly asked. I left him alone for a few days.. then I found out I was pregnant. Our mutual friend informed him and he responded with 'not my problem.' and other hurtful things. He didnt really believe me. Then, about a week later, I end up having to go collect the rest of my things from him. Our mutual friend came with me. He wouldnt even look at me. I stayed in the car as they exchanged the last of our things. He later told my friend to have me 'clean the lube bottle.' God damnit. He pretty much admitted to me on the phone that he ****ed someone. He told me to get an abortion, that this was how it is, and thats that. I told him how I threw out the lube and the last thing he said was 'Thats a waste.' Before hanging up on me. So he started dating Moose two days after breaking up with me. In the three weeks of NC I slipped into, ive miscarried, cried, crashed dieted, mourned, started smoking weed, then picked myself up, and started trying to live again. Yesterday, I woke up, and our mutual friend frowned at me and said. "It's official. Him and her are dating. Facebook.." I knew that already, so it didnt really bother me. He texted my friend saying I was 'ugly, annoying, and that he was only with me for sex' but he would be 'civil' to me for her sake. I should probably mention he flirted with our mutual friend hardcore for a week after he dumped me until I begged her to MAKE HIM STOP. Anyway, if you've read this much... I'm so sorry I ranted. I just wanted you guys to answer me with as much an educated answer you could muster. Me and my ex were such amazingly close friends. He never said anything bad about me until we broke up. We were deeply in love for the majority of our 8 month relationship. Ive never seen him so happy. I was the only girl he ever brought really close to his family and things like that. We were almost inseperable... Suddenly, he's totally different. He told me I didnt do anything that caused the break-up, he just couldnt handle the stress, and how I was never really happy. I know i'm incredibly young, and even if ive had a longer relationship than him, I truely feel as if he is my first love. He is now in a LDR with his once ex-girlfriend Moose. He's decided to go to a community college for two years and then swap over to the college i'm attending for the last two years. We've cut eachother completely from eachothers lives. I deleted him on facebook, he deleted me off an online game we both play, as well as Skype. We unfollowed eachother on tumblr.. The worst part is, I know his facebook login information, although I havent used it. I sometimes look at his tumblr, which is all gaming stuff, or things referring to how he misses HER, or how past memories hurt. I try not to look at him tumblr, but sometimes it's just a healthy dose of reality that he is no longer mine. So, besides the hiccup with tumblr, I am roughly three weeks into NC. He tells my friend he is surprised and really happy not to hear from me. What I dont understand is why he would leave the best relationship of his life, for a girl he spent a ****ty two months with last summer. I mean, really. I'm young, i'll be fine, blahblah, but I have a feeling once **** goes down the drain with him and Moose, he'll come back to me. I hate to admit that I hope he will. For now, i'm going to better myself, and deal with these feelings of regret. I allow myself to mourn, and I allow myself to handle the little sliver of hope I have. I am SO sorry this is so long. I guess what I want is opinions on: 1) Is it G.I.G.S? 2) Am I doing the right thing by just dissapearing from his life? 3) Think he's gonna come back to me like he has his other exes? I'd appreciate your imput.
whichwayisup Posted August 1, 2012 Posted August 1, 2012 Yes, disappear from his life. Ask the mutual friend to NEVER say his name to you ever again. Remember how he made you feel, how badly he treated you. He was truly awful to you finding out you were pregnant. Remember how he reacted and what he said. Yuck!! This guy is not worthy of any of your tears. You two can never be friends again. How he treated you and what he said is unforgiveble and the trust is broken forever.
Author AnchordHeart Posted August 1, 2012 Author Posted August 1, 2012 Yes, disappear from his life. Ask the mutual friend to NEVER say his name to you ever again. Remember how he made you feel, how badly he treated you. He was truly awful to you finding out you were pregnant. Remember how he reacted and what he said. Yuck!! This guy is not worthy of any of your tears. You two can never be friends again. How he treated you and what he said is unforgiveble and the trust is broken forever. Uhg.. your probably right. I guess I have this sick feeling of hope. I just love him so much, you know? How long until he breaks up with her and remembers the good stuff? Bleh I'm doing better everyday though.
whichwayisup Posted August 1, 2012 Posted August 1, 2012 Why do you love him? Because of how he makes you feel? If you take him back with open and willing arms after the way he treated you, he'll have absolutely NO respect for you. In his mind he'll know he can treat you like crap and you'll sit there and take it. He is CRUEL, okay. He intentionally hurt you and the way things ended, how he handled it. You are too good for him. You need to get ANGRY. I get you're upset and all but the anger has to hit you sooner or later and then come back here and post. You wont want him back, you'll want to flush him down the toilet!
Author AnchordHeart Posted August 1, 2012 Author Posted August 1, 2012 Why do you love him? Because of how he makes you feel? If you take him back with open and willing arms after the way he treated you, he'll have absolutely NO respect for you. In his mind he'll know he can treat you like crap and you'll sit there and take it. He is CRUEL, okay. He intentionally hurt you and the way things ended, how he handled it. You are too good for him. You need to get ANGRY. I get you're upset and all but the anger has to hit you sooner or later and then come back here and post. You wont want him back, you'll want to flush him down the toilet! Angry? Ive been told to be angry. I guess I havent felt that way because at first... I blamed myself. c: Now do I think its my fault? Noooo. Not anymore. But I admit I was a nag, moody, and I never let the ex subject die for too long. He was awful, yeah.. I just dont understand why it doesnt click. I feel more numb now, with like.. a dull ache in my chest. I cant explain.
whichwayisup Posted August 1, 2012 Posted August 1, 2012 You will get to the anger stage soon enough.. I look forward to reading your posts then! This was building up for quite a while and they were probably together longer than you realize behind your back. I hate to say that, but it's like he was never truly over her when he started dating you. It's not your fault this happened. He made decisions and that's that. Sadly when one person is done and they are ready to break up, nothing will make them stay because their mind is made up. Allow yourself to grieve the loss but still go and live life! be with trusted friends and family, those who do care about you and will support you, make you feel better.
Author AnchordHeart Posted August 1, 2012 Author Posted August 1, 2012 You will get to the anger stage soon enough.. I look forward to reading your posts then! This was building up for quite a while and they were probably together longer than you realize behind your back. I hate to say that, but it's like he was never truly over her when he started dating you. It's not your fault this happened. He made decisions and that's that. Sadly when one person is done and they are ready to break up, nothing will make them stay because their mind is made up. Allow yourself to grieve the loss but still go and live life! be with trusted friends and family, those who do care about you and will support you, make you feel better. Yeah, your right. I just dont understand it all... We were close firends. For YEARS. And he couldnt get over this girl he dated for two months? I can confidently say that I am a much better catch, and he'll probably came back at some point. I wont make it easy. I dont believe they were together behind my back. I feel like seeing her at the party, combined with my needyness for answers, kind of pushed him to her.. I'm beating myself up over little **** that doesnt matter anymore..
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