Does this make sense?

[Sheppy99]

So...... me and my ex broke up on Friday. It didn't hit me till about Sunday and all day Sunday I couldn't eat, sleep, had stomach issues, whole 9. Same thing Monday and I couldn't go to work. Was breaking down here and there etc.

 

Not going to go over the entire situation. Basically my ex said she never got over an ex of hers while bawling out of no where to me on Friday. Said she was sorry a million times and that she was leaving to move to a different province.

 

So that's fine, I was upset but then my brain started wondering why is she going to this other place (I didn't ask her any questions during the break up, I just listened and was in shock) who is she going there to meet? Than I remember when we first met she was suppose to go see this friend of hers who lived somewhere around there. So than I started thinking maybe he's the ex and maybe she's going to live with him. That absolutely devastated me and put me in a world of hurt cause it meant to me that the girl who I cared about dearly had this set up for a while and was just playing me. I felt like a truck hit me.

 

Than today I had to go to work but was still completely messed up. This is going to sound super corny but I was so upset I prayed to god to somehow make me feel better just so I could make it through work. Btw my ex worked at the same job as me and she just up and quit Friday and everybody at work was shocked too.

 

So a mutual friend at work tells me "omg, she messaged me asking me to take her dog that she loves so much for good cause she's going to stay with a family member and they can't have dogs"

 

To hear that, it was like a weight had been lifted off of me...... It meant that she really didn't play me and maybe she did really care for me but like she said wasn't completely over her ex. So she's moving away for now to escape the issues which I agree isn't really stableish...... but if she thinks it will help to get away from her ex and me to get her mind straight, who am I to judge?

 

Does it make sense that this information made me feel so much better? It's not like it means we're going back together anytime soon if it all, but it makes me feel like maybe she still is the person I thought she was and maybe she truly didn't want to hurt me and wanted us to work out as she said....... She obviously is trying to get over her ex by moving away for now which is a good thing I think.

 

I'm just scared that I"ll go back to where I was in a few days but I don't think I will. Does it make sense that this information really helped me?

 

PS still sticking to NC........

[Ruby65]

Of course it makes sense that this would make you feel better!

 

You thought she was moving to be with another man, and you've found out she's moving in with relatives instead. She's not going off to be happy with someone else. She's going to have time to process everything that's happened and she won't be immediately replacing you and forgetting all about you. (She wouldn't be forgetting you anyway, but that's another matter.)

 

This is all so recent, you really need to give yourself a break. Know that your appetite and sleeping will normalize soon and your emotions are going to stabilize too. This is a huge shock and it's completely normal to be having physical reactions and also to seek comfort from an outside spiritual source.

 

When you can, try to exercise because that's really good for your brain chemistry and helps you feel better. Also try and eat something nutritious when you can eat.

 

For now, treat yourself like you've got a really bad flu and know that in time you'll start to feel more and more like your old self.

 

And good for you for sticking to NC!!

[Sheppy99]

Of course it makes sense that this would make you feel better!

 

You thought she was moving to be with another man, and you've found out she's moving in with relatives instead. She's not going off to be happy with someone else. She's going to have time to process everything that's happened and she won't be immediately replacing you and forgetting all about you. (She wouldn't be forgetting you anyway, but that's another matter.)

 

This is all so recent, you really need to give yourself a break. Know that your appetite and sleeping will normalize soon and your emotions are going to stabilize too. This is a huge shock and it's completely normal to be having physical reactions and also to seek comfort from an outside spiritual source.

 

When you can, try to exercise because that's really good for your brain chemistry and helps you feel better. Also try and eat something nutritious when you can eat.

 

For now, treat yourself like you've got a really bad flu and know that in time you'll start to feel more and more like your old self.

 

And good for you for sticking to NC!!

Thanks ruby! I really appreciate your advice and opinions. It made me feel even better cause you nailed exactly why it made me feel better so I don't feel like this is really superficial at all

I hope she does move on from her ex cuz he's moved on from her with a new gf etc not for me but for her own piece of mind. I sent her a closure text Saturday sayin I hope she can move on cause she deserves to be happy with someone. Just doesn't seem fair that if he can be happy with someone new than why can't she. I also hope she realizes being best friends with your ex will never work. I hope she goes to no contact with him or else moving away is kinda pointless but that isn't my place or responsibility to tell her or coach her on it. hopefully she takes lessons from how I'm handing it with nc

[Sheppy99]

I guess part of me wonders and I guess I'll never really know if her moving away is partly because of feelings she has for me and if when she is moved away........will she be thinking of me too.......

 

I was absolutely fantastic to her and even during the breakup, I didn't say anything remotely bad or nasty. I just said I was shocked and couldn't believe it was over. I sent her a closure message the next day saying I understood her situation and to not beat herself up over it and maybe our paths would cross again someday.

 

Obviously I'm part of the reason she's moving away too I guess. She's lived here with her best friend the ex for months and months and hasn't resorted to moving away until she had a relationship with me. Part of me hopes she'll move on from the guy that is ancient history and realize something about me....