read everyone. Realize this

[whoknows11]

Hello everyone. Ive come to grips its time to move on. It hurts, but we re only human. After seeing my exes default pic in my message box from recent message, i saw her picture quickly of her with her new boyfriend. Someone else. Did i freak out? Yeah. It was hard to take in. Cause it was true. I felt he took my spot with ease after everything i did.

 

I went through alot this past month in a half. Met you people on here who helped. And were right. Dealt with suffering, confusion and manipulation from my ex. False hopes and promises of bring back together and not wanting anyone. Believed her lies. Especially, " i need a break from relationships. Ive been in them since so and so. I need time to find out who i am. And work on school and work. Etc". They were all lies. Turns out she was looking for someone and was possibly working on things with him the whole time. I never knew. Cause i was completly blinded. I prayed in the meantime that shed come back, sad enough turned to wasting countless amount of money on psychics, became addicted to nightquil/vicodin so i could stop thinking and sleep. Was in the worst stage of depression ive ever been in. Each day got worse.

 

After seeing that picture, it made me realize things. That she lied, i wasted my time waiting and trying to work on things. And that she wasnt at all who i thought she was. She clearly was the worst girlfriend ive ever had. And i realize that. I learned my lesson to not put so much into a relationship. Whether its money, effort, love,etc. im hurting but i feel relieved that i know the truth. I learned my lesson. I have to take defeat and leave

 

Where im getting at people, is that as much as it hurts. You shouldnt wait and have hope. When theyre gone, theyre gone. If they need a break, its a lie along with every other excuse. While your spending your time grieving over someone, wondering what if. Theres that great girl, who honestly is great looking for someone like you. I wish i find that. But in the meantime, pick yourself up, learn from the mistake, walk away, enjoy your time with your friends, do things you wanna do. Its your life, not your exs or anyone.

 

" life is ours, we live it our way."

 

- metallica

 

Thank you everyone.

[Radu]

Worst gf you ever had ... so far.

 

Trying to cheer you up obviously.

 

Now go sample the other flavours of life [read girls].

[whoknows11]

Worst gf you ever had ... so far.

 

Trying to cheer you up obviously.

 

Now go sample the other flavours of life [read girls].

 

Ive been in relationships before this one. They were much longer. But this one hit the hardest. She was like my best friend. But the thing is, no ones ever betrayed me like that or have hurt me that much before. Between the lies, everything.

 

But i appreciate you trying tHo cheer me up. Truth be told, i almost took myself out. But i stopped and thought do i really want to do this. Its a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Im still here. Im hurting so much in disbelief that theres someone new. But she seems happy from what i saw in the picture. So i have to move on as well. Safe to say all lessons learned. People arent what they seem to be. I honestly wont ever take her back, or respond if she ever contacts me. Theres much better out there. Its time i find that for myself. I pray i find that good girl finally.

[Xestenz]

So sorry to hear that, Who -- that really sucks -- and thank you for sharing your experience and thoughts. You are so right!

 

Amazingly, I am in the exact same situation, and just learned tonight that the woman with whom I spent an amazing six months, and who a month and a half ago said she was 'overwhelmed' by all her committments in life and 'needed space' is now with someone new!

 

The amazing part is that she used the fact that her favorite aunt was diagnosed with cancer, and she needed to help tend to her as part of her excuse for doing this, and then broke up with me by text in the end! Such a low, cowardly and loser thing to do. Funny too that 'honesty' for her was always the biggest thing during our time together.

 

I have been grieving and in pain all this time as well, holding out hope for a change of heart and reconcilliation. A complete waste of my time and energy.

 

Would you agree with me that, although it is painful to learn, it actually really helps one move forward? I feel absolutely liberated by the truth! The pain and anxiety turned off like a faucet, and the pedestal I had put her on came crashing down to earth with the reality of who she really is.

 

Like you I'm sure, I look back and am proud of all that I gave her and how I handled myself both during the relationship and breakup. All the creeping self doubts have gone away.

 

I used to be very open hearted and innocent about relationships. I really hope that we don't lose that because of these experiences with people who don't know how to treat other people well. How does one not lose faith?

 

All the best to you, as you move forward and find someone actually worthy of your time and integrity!

[Xestenz]

. I have to take defeat and leave

 

 

I do not myself believe this is a defeat, for either you or me. You simply put your trust in someone who didn't at all deserve it. This is not a defeat! This means you win! You have integrity, you give, you feel, you are honest and open.

 

This is a defeat for her (and her new boyfriend), not for you!

[KatZee]

False hopes and promises of bring back together and not wanting anyone. Believed her lies. Especially, " i need a break from relationships. Ive been in them since so and so. I need time to find out who i am. And work on school and work. Etc". They were all lies. Turns out she was looking for someone and was possibly working on things with him the whole time.

 

...it made me realize things. That she lied, i wasted my time waiting and trying to work on things. And that she wasnt at all who i thought she was. She clearly was the worst girlfriend ive ever had.

 

Just know you're not alone. My ex spewed this load of BS, WORD FOR WORD to me. When he was breaking up with me he said he still loved me. I was his best friend. He didn't want to lose what we had. He needed to be single, find himself, he's been in relationships since he was a teenager, he wanted to fix his problems. He said he could see us starting fresh down the line when he was done sorting himself out. It was him not me. I asked him to please tell me the truth, if there was someone else, and he said "I've been honest this entire time, there is no one else whatsoever." That is what he said.

 

He gave me a lot of false hope and even after he said all that, he dropped off the earth and we had NC for almost two months. At that point I got a text from him, completely out of no where. Telling me to lose his number, have a nice life, it was the last text he was ever sending me, that there was no "us" that he didn't want me to get the wrong impression and that it was his fault for doing that. Are you kidding me? We hadn't even talked in almost two months.

 

Moral of the story? Everything he said when he was breaking up with me was a lie. Majority of dumpers ARE liars. They are cowards. They are cheaters. They take the easy way out, they don't have the strength, or the integrity to just own up to whatever it is they're feeling. They run away and cover it up with whatever we want to hear. It does us no favors, it does them no favors.

 

I don't have any solid evidence of him having someone new, but I honestly wouldn't doubt it. He deleted my friends off his FB account so he clearly has something to hide. I blocked him and I don't have contact with our mutual friends much anymore. I couldn't care less to know about him or what he's doing. I'm out living my life, and I'm living with the satisfaction that even if he IS dating someone else, he's no prize. He has a lot of demons, a lot of issues, he's a textbook narcissist, passive aggressive, lying, cheating, immature bastard. Whoever stays with that clearly doesn't think much of themselves.

 

Also, he treated his ex before me, exactly the way he is treating me. He met me and basically fell for me before he ended it with her, so he probably pulled the same stunt with me. Clearly a red flag I ignored. That's just what he does. Instead of working on a relationship he just moves on to the next thing that's easy. Whatever, definitely not my loss.

 

If there's anything to learn from this, it shouldn't be that you don't put as much effort, love, money, or emotion into a relationship. You should always give your all to someone...but give it to someone who is DESERVING of it. Pay attention to the red flags that may pop up. Try to look at the relationship objectively and not through rose colored glasses. Watch actions first and foremost, don't listen to words. The second words and actions don't match up, that's when you can learn the most about a person's intentions and their character.

[Sugarkane]

I'm sorry to hear your story. I know I and many others in here can really relate! You deserve so much better and I hope you don't take this person back.

[whoknows11]

Thank you everyone. It really means alot. When i rains it pours is what im learning. I agree with all of you and im sorry your going through the same. I just did everything i could. Even waited for her and stayed faithful. I thought it was her acting like a new boyfriend texting me the other night when i texted her. But i was wrong. I never felt something like it before when i saw that picture of her and him looking happy like they were about to kiss. We took pictures just like that. It really hurt to see someone else with the one person you loved so much. Ripped my heart out. Cause i believe i did much more than he did. I broke down crying. And i have to deal with this everyday. It just seems so unreal. As for me taking her back. Never. I could never forgive her or take her back. Ill never talk to her again as well.

[KatZee]

Thank you everyone. It really means alot. When i rains it pours is what im learning. I agree with all of you and im sorry your going through the same. I just did everything i could. Even waited for her and stayed faithful. I thought it was her acting like a new boyfriend texting me the other night when i texted her. But i was wrong. I never felt something like it before when i saw that picture of her and him looking happy like they were about to kiss. We took pictures just like that. It really hurt to see someone else with the one person you loved so much. Ripped my heart out. Cause i believe i did much more than he did. I broke down crying. And i have to deal with this everyday. It just seems so unreal. As for me taking her back. Never. I could never forgive her or take her back. Ill never talk to her again as well.

 

You need to do a purge. You will feel so much better. I did this at my apartment. I threw a whole garbage party for myself.

 

1. DELETE AND BLOCK on Facebook. This way, no chance of you seeing these FB photos.

2. Go into your FB messages and DELETE all conversations you've had. There is no reason to have any of this to look back on and pine over.

3. ^^^ Same goes for e-mail.

4. Delete all pictures of you and her. I deleted all of mine on my FB, my e-mail, and my computer. I do have them all backed up on an external hard drive, but that's not something I plan on looking at anytime soon, or, if at all. I'm in a lot of those pictures so I feel bad just erasing almost 3 years of my own life.

5. Delete all e-mail correspondence, her contact information, etc. If you have G-Mail, set up a filter... anything, if she tries to contact you, by passes your Inbox and gets sent directly to spam/trash.

6. When we broke up I gave him ALL of my photo albums/scrapbooks I had made of us. Anything that I found lingering got ripped up, cut up, and stuffed into garbage bags. (Cards, letters, etc.)

7. ^^^ same goes for items, mementos. Everything got put in garbage bags. I ripped up planners, etc. Everything that was found, made it into the garbage bag, and got thrown down my garbage chute at my apartment.

8. Delete all photos off your phone, delete her contact, if you want you can even call up your carrier and have her number blocked. I know Verizon does that.

9. UNSUBSCRIBE to all mutual friends you have on FB if you don't want to outright delete them. This way you don't see posts of parties, or get togethers, or photos of them all together if something is put up.

[whoknows11]

You need to do a purge. You will feel so much better. I did this at my apartment. I threw a whole garbage party for myself.

 

1. DELETE AND BLOCK on Facebook. This way, no chance of you seeing these FB photos.

2. Go into your FB messages and DELETE all conversations you've had. There is no reason to have any of this to look back on and pine over.

3. ^^^ Same goes for e-mail.

4. Delete all pictures of you and her. I deleted all of mine on my FB, my e-mail, and my computer. I do have them all backed up on an external hard drive, but that's not something I plan on looking at anytime soon, or, if at all. I'm in a lot of those pictures so I feel bad just erasing almost 3 years of my own life.

5. Delete all e-mail correspondence, her contact information, etc. If you have G-Mail, set up a filter... anything, if she tries to contact you, by passes your Inbox and gets sent directly to spam/trash.

6. When we broke up I gave him ALL of my photo albums/scrapbooks I had made of us. Anything that I found lingering got ripped up, cut up, and stuffed into garbage bags. (Cards, letters, etc.)

7. ^^^ same goes for items, mementos. Everything got put in garbage bags. I ripped up planners, etc. Everything that was found, made it into the garbage bag, and got thrown down my garbage chute at my apartment.

8. Delete all photos off your phone, delete her contact, if you want you can even call up your carrier and have her number blocked. I know Verizon does that.

9. UNSUBSCRIBE to all mutual friends you have on FB if you don't want to outright delete them. This way you don't see posts of parties, or get togethers, or photos of them all together if something is put up.

 

 

She blocked me a long time ago. Idk how i saw it. But i did all of that. Finished it last night. I woke up feeling the shock of it all. I just feel so lost and deep down.