I don't know anymore :(

[Mariana345]

Hello everyone, this is my history, my native language is not english, so please be patient with me .

 

My "almost 5 years" boyfriend broke up with me 4 weeks ago. We were having lots of fights recently, but we solved each one of them.

The week before we brokeup he told me that he was having problems with me not liking his friends, because when we fought he needs them. He wanted me to be more flexible and do some stuff with he and his friends. Ok, that was acceptable, so I agreed.

 

Nevertheless next weekend we fought again and the next day I went to his home to talk and solve things. But after I explained to him what we could do to make things better he doesn't wanted to do it.

He then said that he was giving enough and that he was tired, and angry with me, that he has resentments because all the previous fights... in all our relationship! Also said that he still likes me, and don't want to make my cry, but that he doesn't feel the same way before, neither when I look cute or I'm crying

 

Then I just said that we just either solve the problem or breakup... so he chose to breakup. I was devastated! I beg and pleaded but he didn't change his mind! He told me that I was brave, that I don't need him, that I was going to be just fine, and that he doesn't feel capable to do this anymore that he needed time to see if he can miss again, or feel the same as before.

 

So I tought we were just having some "time", but the next Wednesday he hide our relationship status from facebook (all that week we never contacted each other) and by friday he just erased it. I didn't know what was going out, so I sent him an email, to ask what that "time" was going to consist about... But he answer me that he just ended the relationship on sunday, and he didn't believe that It will work again, cause he didn't feel able to continue.

 

After that I tried the NC rule, to make him miss me, but he just kept throwing me out from his life. I couldn't handle it and erase him from my friends in facebook (that was our only "conection") and after that he blocked me for a couple of days. Then I found out that he was going to the movies and paying 2 tickets to the recently Johny Deep movie (and you don´t go to to that movie with a male friend just the two of you ¬¬) so I burst and called him to ask for my stuff, but very calmly and like I didn't know anything.

 

So, yeah, he give my stuff back... I wanted to talk to him but then regreted and just take my stuff, said thanks and good bye and leave that place. He wasn't rude to me, but not warlmy neither

He didn't ask for any of his stuff, and he didn't intended, as he told me once, but yesterday he ask me to transfer him money that he was saving together with me. I don't know what was that for :/

 

The thing now is that he is hanging out with his friends, he goes to party almost every weekend, and to the movies (and paid two tickets every time) and he looked for his former best female friend, which he left because she liked him and that was troubling me that time. I mean, he haven't contacted her for almost 4 years and now he does...

 

I don't know anymore, I thought that he loved me, that we could solve this, but now... I think that he doesn't miss me at all, since he haven´t contacted me in all this time, he just answer my questions, and now he just go and look for the person who almost made us broke up 4 years ago...

 

I don't know what to do anymore, I wanted him back, but now... Please give me some advice

[Samilia]

From what you said, it's pretty clear that he walked away, your story is over.

 

I don't know how you can see what purchases he makes, but that's not healthy for you to be stalking him.

 

Reading your story, I get the feeling that you were a bit possessive, keeping him away from his friends. That probably wore him down to a point where he had to end it. Those issues have to addressed before you get into a new relationship though.

 

Best advice I can give is to go no contact, that includes not stalking his bank records or his facebook. Get back on track and take care of yourself, so that eventually you get over him and go on with life.

 

Put his stuff in a box, give it back, or throw it away, but don't let it lay around your house for you to look at, it would just slow the healing process.

 

I hope you feel better soon

[Mariana345]

Hello!

Well, Is not that I was possesive per se, is just that his best female friend liked him and he didn't drow a line when I become the girlfriend, so at some point, the only thing that he thought of to solve the matter was to not talking to her more. His idea, but I was great with it.

So, because of that, his other friends didn't like me much, so I didn't feel confortable around them and eventually we got issues... so I didn't told him to not see them, but do it without me, and he prefer to stay with me...