geminni Posted May 30, 2012 Posted May 30, 2012 hello loveshackers. so here is my situation and i would like some opinion, i apologize if this is more an essay. i have been with this girl for 6 months, we have known each other for a few years from work and started dating 6 months ago. we both worked in the same building, but different companies, so contact was limited. It is not really the point of the story. The thing is we have had a great relationship, we had fun together, have similar interests, understood each others jokes and so on you know what i mean. but somehow work and other obligations didn't allow us to spend as much time together as we wanted to. She is still studying, working and has a sport trainings and my schedule is also hectic, but we still tried to make the best of it. Of course we had small fights here and there, but nothing major as far as drama goes. The last time we saw each other was about three weeks ago, because first she was away due to college obligations then I was away, but we still ha contact, via phone or SMS. Then last week i get this SMS where she is like: do you feel like this is going somewhere, since we don't see each other that much and that she has a lot of going on, she has to pass 6 exams in June and doesn't find the time to spend it with me, And she feels like it is not fair to me, that she can't even when she has an house of spare time to meet with me after her night shift, because she is so tired that she just wants to go to sleep. So then conversation ( via messaging ) went on, I told her that i see things like: if someone wants to spend time with his partner, there is always a way, of course here are times when you just can't see each other, but mostly there is a way, if its even for an hour. She replied that she doesn't want to jump around and see me for a cup of coffee, the she would rather spend more time with me and getting to know me, but somehow it is not possible, because exams are her main priority right now because she has to pass them in June to advance next year. And I told her ( also a few months back ), when she told be that she has a lot of obligations and exams and all, that I understand, that this is not something permanent and that we will just get past this and find extra time for us and take it from there. So i was understanding because I know how it is when you have a lot of obligations you are obligated to do. I also asked her, when can I see her, if possible, and she said in July ( sarcastically i assume ) because of 6 exams in June, she added that she doesn't want to make things more complicated than they already are. I was kind of annoyed at that time, because i do want to see her, even for a little while, and all, so i replied that somehow i feel like she is just making an excuses to not see me, referring to her exams and all. And she replied : Whatever. No comment. And the last one i send was like: how do you expect me to react to your reply ( referring to July ). That was the last communication. So I thought I would leave it at that and like 4 days passed and I called her, She did not answer nor called back. Ok. Next day I send her a message; that I am a little disappointed that apparently she can't even return a call now and that I know she is under pressure and that it is not the easiest situation and all, that i was trying to be supportive. And then there are out of the blue spare keys to my apartment ( which I gave to here the other day when i had to leave earlier than she did ). But if she thinks thats all right then OK. i just think that it would be a shame, If we threw something like this away over some stupid stuff, but apparently she has a different view due to her actions. I wished her all the best with exams and thats it. I am doing NC now, because i do not want to come off as needy and pressuring her. But come on, were are not teenagers anymore and I hate to be in the dark her. i am willing to give her space or whatever she needs to pass this exams and all, but i don't know how to act in the future. i am sorry if this is very long, I just kept typing and typing... Thanks in advance.
Balzac Posted May 30, 2012 Posted May 30, 2012 Interesting story. From my read of this the girl has time management issues. Personal relationship/You are never going to rise in her priority ranking. I'd take her at her word~she's incapable of prioritizing you into her world.
Author geminni Posted May 30, 2012 Author Posted May 30, 2012 Thx Balzac, for replying. The thing is, and i am not defending her actions, before all this crazy schedule I was a priority, but yes, i guess, time management not her thing.
Author geminni Posted June 2, 2012 Author Posted June 2, 2012 Ok, so this seems like a good place where i can pour my thoughts. So its been more than a week after a last conversation that i have had with my Ex, As you can imagine it has been a rollercoaster of emotions. I dont want to break NC but my fingers are itching and I freaking cant get her out of my mind, even though i try, I try to occupy myself, I am telling myself that i should just wait and see. But since the situation is somewhat unclear as far as the reasons from "pause", i keep asking myself questions over and over and whether I should ask her for them or not. I was also thinking of asking her friend if she told her anything, why silent treatment or anything that I can get some kind of reasoning. But o the other hand i dont think its a good idea. And yes I do want to be with her, I believe that her feelings are also the same, I guess its just a fu**** up time situation. So I guess NC is still the best thing, even though its hard... Thanks for listening.
hk_1 Posted June 2, 2012 Posted June 2, 2012 My personal experience says she is done with you; now wants to experiment something new, this exam/priority speech is a very old one, I would honestly suggest just go out spend some time with other girls, I am not suggesting to get into a new relationship etc but just in order to keep yourself away from going back to her when you don't really want to. To me this girl doesn't seem sincere.
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