life after an emotionally abusive relationship

[sunrays]

I was in a emotionally abusive relationship. My ex was never stable. I always knew he has problems but I guess i lied to myself about them. He ran away from his family's religion at 19 and started a new life for himself. I met him when things were going really great for him and we had a good relationship even though he always dwelled on his family and was really angry at them for how they treated him when he left the religion. Everything was always about proving them wrong or getting back at them.Then he lost his job and the trouble began. He became neglectful, cruel and he drank way too much. He got a new job that he didn't like and he still acted this way. I tried to support him since in this economy he should have been so grateful to have a job but to him the job wasn't good enough, nothing ever was good enough. He would ignore me and sometimes when we had plans he would ruin them and make me cancel them. He would bury himself on his computer, he was always a loner and aways liked to do things on his computer even before this, but it got out of control. He also was really charming the rest of the time, always complimenting me but then in a disturbing way, he would tell me I was so beautiful and he was so ugly out of the blue. He would also constantly worry that I was going to leave him and ask me questions that made me uncomfortable like what celebrity I would sleep with if I had the chance? Maybe that is a normal question for some people but It just bothered me and it bothered him when I didn't have an answer and told him I only wanted to be with him. He insisted I would cheat on him if I had the chance. And again, everything was always about his parents and how they were his enemies and he would always brag about things we did together with my family so they would know that he had a new family. Anyway one day he just stopped talking to me after we were together for over 2 years. He gave me no explanation or anything. A few months later he was back and I was reluctant to get back together with him but I guess I was still living in the past from before these changes in him, anyway he was crueler and once again left. This time he would play games with me and try to get my attention on Facebook even though he wasn't talking to me anymore. I deleted him from Facebook when he started flaunting a new girl on there, and then he would brag to my friends about his new relationship. Anyway it's been six months since I deleted him and spoke to him and I still feel really sad. I don't want him back, the thought of him makes me sick but I feel used and like I should have left him first. I was wondering if anyone ever dealt with someone like this? It seems he is suffering from some kind of mental disorder and I feel really damaged myself now. I haven't gone out on a date since him. He was my first boyfriend and I feel really afraid to start with anyone again. Has anyone else gone through this or been with this kind of person?

[Svet74]

I dated someone similar to your ex. It's tough to get over but eventually you will get there. Your half way there.