windmask Posted April 8, 2012 Posted April 8, 2012 Hey everyone alright so my ex gf broke up with over a year her reasons at that were.... 1. i wasnt educated high enough for her. 2. since i was still in college i didnt have a lot of money. 3. after stating the first two reasons she says well the main reason is because i dont love you. anyhow after a long back to forth type a thing where i didnt want her to go but she had made up her mind. so anyhows it was hard for me to move like she was my best friend before we got together. life was a nightmare it really truly was. after a year i was finally starting to feel good i didnt care at all most of the times but still thought about her. anyhows after 1 year she messages me yesterday out of no where i ignored it 5 times, but then my friend said just answer it already. i did she asks how i am and etc, i say am good and all but theres nothing left to say since she broke up long ago. so from here she loses it on me saying how me and her were never meant to be, and how am not over her, and also how her life was so amazing now and that she should have done it sooner to be as happy as she is now and shes so proud of herself. and am like i cant believe shes so proud that shes hurt me so much but w.e atleast shes happy i said hey well sure thats good for you i guess and i wish u the best. she decides to repeat it again and i tell her that its insulting towards me to have her say that to me. this is where i lost my cool because she didnt see it this way she kept saying how i was her mistake and all how shes moved on and is proud of herself. i said hey listen take this somewhere else like i dont know whats happened to you and i never want to hear from you again because ur so hurtful yet so proud and u dont care. i dont understand why come to me and tell me how perfect ur life since u broke up with me... i got very upset so anyhows i wrote an email saying theres something wrong with her for her to ever say that....i wasnt very kind in the email but i only stated what i thought she deserved. ive never been this upset in my entire freaken life....like seriously how disgusting are some humans to say all that to hurt me....i consider myself to be a very nice person....i dont lose my cool and am polite but this was insane... so u guys tell me is it normal to hear from your ex dumper all this? like how there life is so wonderful etc...
TaraMaiden Posted April 8, 2012 Posted April 8, 2012 guess whose ex-GF hasn't moved on then? She dumped you for the reasons you gave - but clearly, she hasn't dropped the baggage. If her life hasn't evolved as she would have liked, it's because she hasn't been doing the right things to fulfil her dreams. but instead of seeing her own shortcomings, she still thinks it's all your fault. shame you took the bait and chewed her head off. That, in a way just proves her point to her..... the best revenge is to live well. That's the line i believe you should have taken..... 2
sweetheart5381 Posted April 8, 2012 Posted April 8, 2012 Ouch, that's brutal. Truth be told, she is not over you. I'll bet she expected you to come running back with open arms and you didn't. She wants your attention - good or bad and if she can piss you off, she has succeeded. She's actually at a low in her life - I will guess that she had all the power in the relationship too. She is harbouring an anger that is unhealthy for both of you. You should not have to endure this and don't ever respond again unless it is a sincere apology.
lostconfidence Posted April 8, 2012 Posted April 8, 2012 no she hasnt moved on. i agree shes at a low point in her life and foned you then you rejected her 1st then she just retaliated. women hate rejection. shes bitter let her be
Author windmask Posted April 8, 2012 Author Posted April 8, 2012 hey guys firstly thank you so much for responding it really helps. and Taramaiden i fully understand what your saying that how i took the bait and chewed her head off.........ur actually right very right in fact......i fully agree with you and i had a friend of mine who said the same thing to me. Taramaiden the thing is that its different when you have someone who keeps saying to u how perfect there life is after they left you and they should have done sooner...to be honest it breaks the heart and that took when the person who has to hear it is just being nice about it... to be honest i wasnt over the top rude however the next day i sent in an email saying some bad things ill admit.....u see i wanted a chance to calm down but i felt there was no excuse to what she said....i told her many times while she was putting me down that am glad shes happy in life and she deserves the world but that doesnt mean u should look down upon me. To Lost confidence well she left me i didnt reject her really however after the break up shes been asking to be friends my answer has been no....the weird thing is shes super rude and acts like she hates me.....while i remain cool if i do see her ever but it seems to upset her.....am like sure its how i am always..... To Sweetheart the thing about my ex gf is that even if shes wrong she wont admit it....so she broke up with me and for dumb reasons too she wont admit she was wrong ever....when we were together she would never admit she was wrong about anything even the littlest of the things... anyhows i loved each one of comments though it was really good hearing from you guys.....if you guys got anything else to share please dont hold it back even if its bad... oh btw the first thing she said to me was when she contacted me oh "am over you" "we werent meant to be".....she also said "you arent over me and you need to be"............odd thing is i didnt contact her she contacted me though......odd
EgoJoe Posted April 8, 2012 Posted April 8, 2012 (edited) Dude, you handled yourself well. Don't beat yourself up about it. She is a dumb broad who couldn't stand how you didn't beg and were moving on. Somebody dumped her or used her as a cum receptacle and she needed to talk to somebody who once cared about her feelings. If she doesn't paint you black she has to face up to the jackasses etc. she is dating, screwing and all that. You were mature at first and then as anybody would, lost your cool. Stay NC and now you have a reason to ignore her until the end of time unless she apologizes for being retarded. Which I wouldn't hold my breath for. You handled yourself well. Pat yourself on the back. We can't all be unegotistical, no-game playing saints with no emotion at all times. "Why are you telling me this, we've been broken up for a long time." That was gold. She repeated herself because she was trying to get under your skin because you were too put together at first. When you said I don't ever want to hear from you again you were showing how you didn't want, need or desire her in your life in any capacity. She might take is as justification but that is only because she is stupid, immature and obviously off of the deep end. She doesn't yet (maybe never will) realize that it is due to her actions that you won't be "friends" (ie a snivelling tool of a man). This is a personal victory. Even the email afterwards because you stuck it to her like a man, said your piece and STUCK TO THE FACTS. I'm proud of you man. Way to keep it real. Edited April 8, 2012 by EgoJoe 1
lostconfidence Posted April 8, 2012 Posted April 8, 2012 yes mate your still rejecting her.infact she lost her cool 1st. keep it up mate i was once stone cold and asways in control of my emotions. and my ex destroyed me tho i desevred it but she just a druggie wee tramp and her pathetic excuse for a rebound. am better than them both.. and the thing is your ex thinks your better than her keep it that way 1
Author windmask Posted April 8, 2012 Author Posted April 8, 2012 firstly egojoe thanks man ur message was encouraging i agree. but question you guys....like why does she hate me? i mean she was the one who broke up with me because she wanted someone who was more educated and more rich....btw am 25 years old now....but anyhows if she decided to leave and is happier then why come knocking on my door? to be honest i loved the girl even after the break up but after yesterday how she said she was proud of herself for breaking up me with and moving on i kinda lost all respect for her.... anyhows i dont like to get into fights and she was someone i really cared about. i know her attitude is really messed up but i wonder if she will ever meet her match who gives her the taste of her own medicine. oh well i guess life goes on......well if any more insights please keep writing i love reading others views. at the same time it makes me feel am not alone either.... so thank you
EgoJoe Posted April 8, 2012 Posted April 8, 2012 firstly egojoe thanks man ur message was encouraging i agree. but question you guys....like why does she hate me? i mean she was the one who broke up with me because she wanted someone who was more educated and more rich....btw am 25 years old now....but anyhows if she decided to leave and is happier then why come knocking on my door? to be honest i loved the girl even after the break up but after yesterday how she said she was proud of herself for breaking up me with and moving on i kinda lost all respect for her.... anyhows i dont like to get into fights and she was someone i really cared about. i know her attitude is really messed up but i wonder if she will ever meet her match who gives her the taste of her own medicine. oh well i guess life goes on......well if any more insights please keep writing i love reading others views. at the same time it makes me feel am not alone either.... so thank you The answer is simple and I had to be clued in on this type of behavior myself. Although my Ex "knows better" than to try this BS directly. She is far more passive and can't hang with me when I'm not holding back. It goes like this, so long as it is your fault she does not have to face her feelings, own her decisions and compare anything bad she gets herself into against all of the good you probably offered. It is more complicated than that but with this basic "theory" you can apply it to the situation and figure out the specifics. Forget how she justifies things or what she thinks or feels now. You did good. You are living in reality and she...well she is getting dogged out while drunk and taking it out on you so she doesn't have to say to herself, "He didn't call me 'cus I'm chasing *******s." instead it is, "I am so glad I broke up with Windmask. He was such a loser. Not like Mr. Badboy he is so cool and mysterious, I bet when I show him how much I like him he'll open up to me, I wonder when he'll call me so I can come over and do what he says." So long as you are "worthless" her cognitive dissonance makes everything seem better and then she puts a positive spin on it which further devalues you in her mind. Do you really want to even talk, think or love this type of dumb broad? Work on your sexual proxies and continue improving your life.
wilsonx Posted April 9, 2012 Posted April 9, 2012 Your ex reminds me of egojoe. It was kind of cute. Your ex is angry at herself. She's trying to figure it out. You can't take what she says personally. Its not about you, its about her. She still has things shes working out. The reasons for the breakup weren't you and never about you, they were always about her. This is what people need to learn with dealing with gigs. She was "checking in" and saying hi. There was nothing wrong with what you did.
EgoJoe Posted April 9, 2012 Posted April 9, 2012 Your ex reminds me of egojoe. It was kind of cute. Not sure what reality you're observing but I think your perspective is mega skewed.
sweetheart5381 Posted April 9, 2012 Posted April 9, 2012 firstly egojoe thanks man ur message was encouraging i agree. but question you guys....like why does she hate me? i mean she was the one who broke up with me because she wanted someone who was more educated and more rich....btw am 25 years old now....but anyhows if she decided to leave and is happier then why come knocking on my door? to be honest i loved the girl even after the break up but after yesterday how she said she was proud of herself for breaking up me with and moving on i kinda lost all respect for her.... anyhows i dont like to get into fights and she was someone i really cared about. i know her attitude is really messed up but i wonder if she will ever meet her match who gives her the taste of her own medicine. oh well i guess life goes on......well if any more insights please keep writing i love reading others views. at the same time it makes me feel am not alone either.... so thank you Sorry. Woman's pov here but first of all, she doesn't hate you. She is immature and cannot see how much what she says and does to you hurts. She clearly cares about the relationship and perhaps she thought when she ended it with you, it would end her anger and hurt. It has obviously re-surfaced and she finally wants to deal with it, loooong after the end of the relationship. Too little, too late in this case, unless you really care enough to get through all the emotions that should have been done with months ago. Bottom line, she had her chance to resolve these emotions along time ago, it is just plain selfish for her to bring this **** on now, and it's not for you, it's for her best interests.
fucpcg Posted April 9, 2012 Posted April 9, 2012 I am a very easy going, level headed guy, but can be explosive if I ever feel really offended. That girl would have seen an explosion for sure. Beyond uncalled for behaviour on her behalf, don't care what her issues are.
EgoJoe Posted April 9, 2012 Posted April 9, 2012 Sorry. Woman's pov here but first of all, she doesn't hate you. She is immature and cannot see how much what she says and does to you hurts. She clearly cares about the relationship and perhaps she thought when she ended it with you, it would end her anger and hurt. It has obviously re-surfaced and she finally wants to deal with it, loooong after the end of the relationship. Too little, too late in this case, unless you really care enough to get through all the emotions that should have been done with months ago. Bottom line, she had her chance to resolve these emotions along time ago, it is just plain selfish for her to bring this **** on now, and it's not for you, it's for her best interests. Agreed. She made her own bed and created her own anger and hurt. Who cares what she thinks or feels. I only iterated my understanding so the OP could reason what is going on. Beyond that it would be like trying to figure out the velocity and position of a sub-molecular particle. This broad wouldn't know what care meant/was/is if it was a dick slapping her in the face at a gang bang.
69ways Posted April 9, 2012 Posted April 9, 2012 Hey everyone alright so my ex gf broke up with over a year her reasons at that were.... 1. i wasnt educated high enough for her. 2. since i was still in college i didnt have a lot of money. 3. after stating the first two reasons she says well the main reason is because i dont love you. anyhow after a long back to forth type a thing where i didnt want her to go but she had made up her mind. so anyhows it was hard for me to move like she was my best friend before we got together. life was a nightmare it really truly was. after a year i was finally starting to feel good i didnt care at all most of the times but still thought about her. anyhows after 1 year she messages me yesterday out of no where i ignored it 5 times, but then my friend said just answer it already. i did she asks how i am and etc, i say am good and all but theres nothing left to say since she broke up long ago. so from here she loses it on me saying how me and her were never meant to be, and how am not over her, and also how her life was so amazing now and that she should have done it sooner to be as happy as she is now and shes so proud of herself. and am like i cant believe shes so proud that shes hurt me so much but w.e atleast shes happy i said hey well sure thats good for you i guess and i wish u the best. she decides to repeat it again and i tell her that its insulting towards me to have her say that to me. this is where i lost my cool because she didnt see it this way she kept saying how i was her mistake and all how shes moved on and is proud of herself. i said hey listen take this somewhere else like i dont know whats happened to you and i never want to hear from you again because ur so hurtful yet so proud and u dont care. i dont understand why come to me and tell me how perfect ur life since u broke up with me... i got very upset so anyhows i wrote an email saying theres something wrong with her for her to ever say that....i wasnt very kind in the email but i only stated what i thought she deserved. ive never been this upset in my entire freaken life....like seriously how disgusting are some humans to say all that to hurt me....i consider myself to be a very nice person....i dont lose my cool and am polite but this was insane... so u guys tell me is it normal to hear from your ex dumper all this? like how there life is so wonderful etc... Bittered ass b.... She is after an ego boost because she is not over you... what a time waster she is.... I would never , ever come into contact with her again, she hides a bitter egocentric and probably dangerous character.... Her contacting you after such a long to say this, shows instability and some serious psych. issues... She did you a favour m8 1
Author windmask Posted April 9, 2012 Author Posted April 9, 2012 hey you guys i loved all ur view points. and Sweetheart5381 am glad i got a womens point of view also. you stated she doesnt hate me but is immature and also how its all in her interest now and she had a chance to resolve this but prolly buried. my ex gf honestly is the type that cant or wont admit to herself even if she was ever wrong. thanks i liked wut u stated a little into a womens world lol... To egojoe hey man i liked that little scenario u kinda wrote. the thing is normally id think just like normal people would but when your upset or blinded by someone u cared deeply for ur feelings are all over the place...i also say theres no point of wasting time to figure this loser out...i mean she made all the decisions to break up and all and now all this drama...i know its waste of time to even wonder... but ive always been the type to question why lol....thats why i posted on this site to hear all ur wonderful views to get a greater insight...thanks all....
EgoJoe Posted April 9, 2012 Posted April 9, 2012 Love "blinds" us and hampers our ability to be objective. So, you're alright for that. Simultaneously, she is not normal. She is in denial of her own feelings. I myself don't understand this because I can just face what I'm feeling even though it is not always pretty. But, this is a clear cut case of denial fueled cognitive dissonance that is transitioning to deflection and finally evolving into projection.
nature Posted April 9, 2012 Posted April 9, 2012 From a woman's perspective, WAY TO GO!! She deserved it. I don't think you took any bait. I think she's a selfish bitch and provoked this with her cruelty. You stood up for yourself and told her the way it really was. She should feel bad. Not you. She brought this on herself. 2
Author windmask Posted April 9, 2012 Author Posted April 9, 2012 hey nature well good to hear from a women on this 2nd time today lol....nature how can someone live in denial though i mean how or why would any base there world around that even. i mean she broke up with me and it crushed me she knew it but w.e i didnt speak to her for a year...now she message me saying her life is perfect and it was right of her to break up with me... i mean she broke up with me over me not being highly educated according to her and also that i was in school college so i didnt work full time.... to be honest until 3 days i still wished her the best thought hey i truly cared for this girl we may not be together but she deserves the world....i told her also when i have a bad day i pray and am like am glad shes not here i would not want her to endure any pain because of me.... but then she turns around to be like this i dont think so...hope shes happy now in life like really..... i swear this girl gives wonderful women out there a bad name...hope i found find just one of those wonderful women in life thats enough for me i say.... thank you for ur insight lady...
EgoJoe Posted April 10, 2012 Posted April 10, 2012 Give these articles a read, in this order: Defence mechanism - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia Cognitive dissonance - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia 1
Chi townD Posted April 10, 2012 Posted April 10, 2012 Rule of thumb..... When the dumper has to TELL you how wonderful their life is, then chances are it isn't.... The guilt ate her up and she had to convince herself that her life is so much better without you in it. And she had to tell you about it to further re-enforce her belief that rainbows are shooting out her ass since you've left. Anothier factor is she's been keeping tabs on you and may have discovered that you're doing well; may have started dating again....fun to hang with...People telling her that you look great....women don't like to admit when they are wrong. So, the phone calls.... Ignore it. Wasn't worth your time anyways.
Author windmask Posted April 10, 2012 Author Posted April 10, 2012 Hey Chi Townd omg thats some awesome saying i tell you...that shes saying her life is awesome but it might not be all true...even though i dont want that she should be happy am fine not in it though no worries... but thank you chi townd for sharing a small yet powerful line i tell ya.. u made me day sir....
Author windmask Posted April 11, 2012 Author Posted April 11, 2012 thanks for the links man....and omg i thought i was the only one who wikied everything lol....thank you
Author windmask Posted April 12, 2012 Author Posted April 12, 2012 so i had another question firstly id like to say thank you all for your wonderful support i loved it.....honestly people who have gone through something similiar are the only ones who can understand it i believe. like you guys understood me perfectly so i love you guys... so my new question is this like you all know my ex gf left about a year ago i know its good for sure no hope but i wasnt wondering its been over a year yet i still miss her. she was my first real girlfriend i know i know m 25 i should have had many more but i think its because i never really had parents so i always thought i couldnt ever be loved and when i found my girlfriend she left me because i wasnt high enough educated as her and since i was in college she said i didnt have money.. anyhows its bad she kind of tortured me bad but i was just wondering is there really a time when we are able to just forget our first love and just leave it being...i mean my ex gf says shes over me and her life is perfect that was the recent fight she created i told her just leave me alone and am happy for her.... but if shes happy and proud of leaving me why do i still miss her even after a year she pretty much cheated on me but wont admit it either. at times i feel really dumb and silly. i wish i could just feel nothing like she cant and i wish i could just forget this like she did. so guys is there really a amount of time we must endure this pain till it goes away? i just want it to end i try my best though i try to keep myself busy and all but at times my emotions get the best of me. let me know what you guys think...
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