We were both bad people! I cant live with myself. What do i do now?

[Lenn]

I have just broke up with a girl i have been with for 18 months. When we first met, she was with other men constantly. Bu it didnt stop me from seeing her because i fell in love. That lasted for about 3 months, after that i think she stopped. But ever sense then i wasnt the same. We broke up a few times and in the space of us being apart, i have been with other people myself because i thought thats what she was doing.

When we finally finished, last month. Two days later my best friend went back and stayed at her house after a night out and something happened between the two of them, even tho i will never know for sure. I am in a very bad state over it still.

A few day ago i told her about everyone i have slept with when we wer broken up in the passed, but that i never cheated. But after i did it i felt so bad so i sent her a letter to her house saying how sorry i was and that i cant live with myself. I just dont know what to do now. Any advise? Thanks.

[wilsonx]

Take your best friend out for drinks, roofie him, tie him up, throw him in your trunk, drive to the tallest bridge in your area and pull over, pull him out of your trunk and throw him off.

 

Never have to worry about seeing him again.

 

I dont have friends or associate with people like that for this very reason

[betterdeal]

You can't change the past, but you can learn from it. Don't be too hard on yourself, just take things easy and remember you were doing the best you could at the time. This may sound facile, but remember to get good sleep. It's important and will help your mind settle down.

 

It's probably a good idea to go no contact with her for a while, to help you settle down and understand what sounds like a very difficult relationship. In time, you can find peace and happiness, and grow stronger from this experience.

[budley12]

sounds like the start of your relationship was quite like mine, however I was the one "with other other men constantly". At the beginning I wasnt ready to commit but my ex stuck around and waited... eventually i grew up and we both fell in true love. 3 years later he decides to break up with me and blames it on the hurt from the start of the relationship and how it was never the same after.

 

I am hurting very badly as well, we lived together, saw each other every day at college, did EVERYTHING together, traveled the country countless times... it sucks. I have lost all my friends because we shared the same friends. The only thing that got me through all of this was this forum and sharing stories, meeting new friends, and starting to find myself again. Also, try listening to some christian music... even if you arnt religious (im not very religious) it still gives you a sense of purpose and meaning and a drive to continue. Hope things get better... for both you and me!

[Lenn]

Wilsonx, i found him in her house that morning because i had to get the rest of my things out. I gave him a bad beating and no one has seen him since then. He is too scared to show himself now.

[Lenn]

sounds like the start of your relationship was quite like mine, however I was the one "with other other men constantly". At the beginning I wasnt ready to commit but my ex stuck around and waited... eventually i grew up and we both fell in true love. 3 years later he decides to break up with me and blames it on the hurt from the start of the relationship and how it was never the same after.

 

I am hurting very badly as well, we lived together, saw each other every day at college, did EVERYTHING together, traveled the country countless times... it sucks. I have lost all my friends because we shared the same friends. The only thing that got me through all of this was this forum and sharing stories, meeting new friends, and starting to find myself again. Also, try listening to some christian music... even if you arnt religious (im not very religious) it still gives you a sense of purpose and meaning and a drive to continue. Hope things get better... for both you and me!

budley12. From what you described there, is exactly what my relationship was like. Word for word. But what i cant get over is what she said to me by text after all this. She said that when she sees me, she is going to hurt me so bad that its going to tear me apart.. I dont think im able for more hurt to be honest.