hoperom Posted February 15, 2012 Posted February 15, 2012 I will keep this as brief as possible. My ex and I dated for 4 years. She broke up with me and shortly afterwards she starting dating someone else. Recently, she was home from school, she called me up and we hung out.. went to the beach and I helped her around her house. At this point I figured that maybe she broke up with her boyfriend or maybe they were on rocky terms. Why else would she hang out with me if she was still dating him? But on Valentines day I saw that she wrote on his facebook wall: "Happy Valentines Day! I love you!" Why the hell did she hang out with me? What this all about?
BewitchedandBothered Posted February 16, 2012 Posted February 16, 2012 You needed to ask her this when she asked you to hang out. You walked right into that one. Next time, ask her about her boyfriend.
mike588 Posted February 16, 2012 Posted February 16, 2012 I will keep this as brief as possible. My ex and I dated for 4 years. She broke up with me and shortly afterwards she starting dating someone else. Recently, she was home from school, she called me up and we hung out.. went to the beach and I helped her around her house. At this point I figured that maybe she broke up with her boyfriend or maybe they were on rocky terms. Why else would she hang out with me if she was still dating him? But on Valentines day I saw that she wrote on his facebook wall: "Happy Valentines Day! I love you!" Why the hell did she hang out with me? What this all about? I wonder how her new boyfriend feels about hanging out with you? She probably wants to keep you around as a backup. Stay away from Facebook and move on.
Chi townD Posted February 16, 2012 Posted February 16, 2012 Mike is right. You are the back up boyfriend! You think that once she goes back to school, she's going to give you a second thought? Nope! Because, she'll have "her man" back. Dude, she might be around but maake yourself scarce. If she calls you to hang out, tell her no, you have a date or whatever...
EgoJoe Posted February 16, 2012 Posted February 16, 2012 While you don't know what to think, she is getting pounded by another dude.
geegirl Posted February 16, 2012 Posted February 16, 2012 While you don't know what to think, she is getting pounded by another dude. Ouch but true. You shouldn't be hanging with her knowing she has a bf. You have better things to do. 1
EgoJoe Posted February 16, 2012 Posted February 16, 2012 Ouch but true. You shouldn't be hanging with her knowing she has a bf. You have better things to do. I am very very jaded. Still have my righteousness but jaded beyond belief.
geegirl Posted February 16, 2012 Posted February 16, 2012 I am very very jaded. Still have my righteousness but jaded beyond belief. But I think it appropriate, that jadedness, for a good reality check once in awhile! Jaded. A place we all head at some point. I know you won't stay there, EJ.
Frank13 Posted February 16, 2012 Posted February 16, 2012 She was home from school and needed someone to hang out with and you were there. She used you.
Author hoperom Posted February 16, 2012 Author Posted February 16, 2012 I would love some more constructive advice on what I should do from here if I want to get her back
EgoJoe Posted February 16, 2012 Posted February 16, 2012 She does not want you back. She has no clue what she wants. She knows she has you so why should she desire you back? You have friend-zoned yourself.
geegirl Posted February 16, 2012 Posted February 16, 2012 I would love some more constructive advice on what I should do from here if I want to get her back You're a man. Stop being a doormat. Women find these types unattractive. And that is exactly what you're doing. Disappear. Get on with your life. If you want to try to get her back because you are in denial, let her start thinking and wondering about you being gone. Being available allows her to take you for granted. But seriously, she broke up with you. Dated right after. Loves her boyfriend. Toys with you. I would disappear permanently.
EgoJoe Posted February 16, 2012 Posted February 16, 2012 Even walking the fine line between door mat and supportive is a no no. I say this from personal experience. I got called selfish for it last week...
Frank13 Posted February 16, 2012 Posted February 16, 2012 I would love some more constructive advice on what I should do from here if I want to get her back GeeGiril is right. Short of kidnapping, I don't think there is anything you can do to get her back.
geegirl Posted February 16, 2012 Posted February 16, 2012 Even walking the fine line between door mat and supportive is a no no. I say this from personal experience. I got called selfish for it last week... There is no room for either when your heart is on the line, fine or not. Don't be a doormat. Be your own biggest supporter. Nothing in between. Why selfish?
EgoJoe Posted February 16, 2012 Posted February 16, 2012 I was being supportive but not spineless is what I meant. Let us not derail geegirl, I'll pm ya.
geegirl Posted February 16, 2012 Posted February 16, 2012 I was being supportive but not spineless is what I meant. Let us not derail geegirl, I'll pm ya. Yah, ok. Sorry Hoperom.
RRM Posted February 16, 2012 Posted February 16, 2012 Hoperom, I'm sort of split when I read your post. Part of me thinks, she just wanted to hang out and pass the time and that you might be reading more into things (like her relationship being in trouble) than you should. Another part of me thinks, she was just using you. Ultimately, I'd let her know how you feel about her and tell her that you felt that she was leading you on and see what she says. I don't think getting back with her makes sense, but I can see why you would want to do that. Good luck and keep us posted.
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