caroshin Posted January 18, 2012 Posted January 18, 2012 I broke up with my ex right before Thanksgiving but I had to live with him for a month because of leasing problems. We had a fantastic relationship and he said that because I was going back to school he couldn't do a LDR and that was the ultimate reason we were breaking up etc. During the month I lived with him he would go on dates with other girls and I did the same out of spite (immature and irrational I know...). However, I realized I wasn't ready to date and got back to my senses. Even though we broke up, because I am very close with his parents, he took me to Christmas and Thanksgiving and when I told him I thought it would be inappropriate to go to Christmas Eve to his parents' friends' home he got angry which I couldn't understand. He dropped me off at my friend's home before New Years and he was crying and telling me how much he loved me and was going to miss me (and all the jibber jabber that I didn't believe to the fullest). He told me of all his girl friends I was the sweetest and nicest to him and he didn't know someone could give another person so much love until he met me. He also said I was the sweetest and most loving person to his parents... After I left his place he texted me once a day for a couple days and I realized that it was pointless of keeping in contact with me because I still loved him but I was still going to school so nothing could happen anyways. I messaged him saying to keep the texting minimal because I needed to get over him. However, I missed him so much and I had to ask him a work question (yes, I had to ask him and only him) he replied very enthusiastically using my pet name and asking me to check in on him time to time. Although I was very very happy from the bottom of my heart, I kept my answers very short and minimal. He keeps texting me at least a couple times a week and I always answer him short answers. Like if he asks me how I am I would answer a one worded "yes", etc etc. The one text I really did not understand was when he texted me a picture of me and his parents on Thanksgiving. He didn't write anything just a picture... (I really love his parents a lot and honestly they are my weak spot). I have been keeping myself together by admitting to myself that if he really loved me he would have wanted to spend time with me during the month I was with his place instead of the other girls and that I was worth more. I guess I just want to know if he just wants to make sure I still think about him or if he really truly misses me. Today I was walking home and I kept telling myself (because he texted me today) that I was just one of the other girls or girl he was texting and it wasn't anything special. I just want to know why guys text their ex gfs... I'm honestly not 100% over him and I miss him all the time and I always stare at my phone debating whether or not I should text him (I never do). I erased all his pictures, left our memory box at his home...I'm trying but it's always hard I guess...
BoredAgain Posted January 18, 2012 Posted January 18, 2012 Going back to school usually only means long-distance for a relatively short period of time, and people generally don't end a good long term relationship over something like that. If he really cared about the relationship, he'd do what everybody else does; make plans to visit once or twice and then look forward to the long winter/summer breaks. So there was probably more to it than just that. Actually, the fact that he started dating almost immediately makes me think that his plan was just to see what else is out there. How long have you two been dating and living together? And how old is he?
Author caroshin Posted January 18, 2012 Author Posted January 18, 2012 We lived together for about four five months and dated for ten eleven months. He's 27. His reasoning was that he did a long distance relationship with his ex before me and she was the one that forgot about him and he didn't want to go through it again. In a way I'm defending him but I understand. I don't want to be distracted with school everytime he doesn't text me either and in the long run I think it was a good thing that happened for me because I want to be with someone I can see easily. The dating immediately thing though is what is truly confusing me. If he wants to see what's out there why does he keep texting me?
CaliBabe Posted January 18, 2012 Posted January 18, 2012 I hate to say it, but I agree with BoredAgain. The fact that he started dating quickly after tells me he has been wanting to test the waters and see what else is out there. If two people are madly in love they will do anything to stay together. You asked why he would still be messaging you if he was dating other women. And it could be that seeing other women wasn't what he thought it would be. People can be selfish and date someone new while keeping you hanging on a thread. He can be trying to give you breadcrumbs hoping you will be his fall back after he explores the other women. Are you okay with being someone's second best? Do NOT respond to his texts. Ultimately he left and walked away from your relationship, that in itself should speak volumes. I'm really sorry you are going through this. It hurts but you can make it. Implement NC and move on, be strong!
BoredAgain Posted January 18, 2012 Posted January 18, 2012 Why is he texting you? Well, maybe he's genuinely confused about his feelings. Or maybe he's just trying to keep you on the back-burner just in case he doesn't meet anybody worthwhile. Or maybe dating around isn't going so well for him, so he wants to start up again with you. Whatever the case, it doesn't really matter. You seem to think the break-up was for the best, so just ignore his texts/calls if they are bothering you.
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