infinity8245 Posted October 13, 2011 Share Posted October 13, 2011 My ex girlfriend of 4+ years broke up a little over 4 weeks ago. During this time we hadn't really been talking, except to tie up loose ends at our old apartment. Not but two weeks ago, she started texting me in the middle of the night, asking if I missed her, telling me how hard things were for her etc... I didn't really say much back. Additionally, she tried really hard to convince me that she wasn't going to do what she always does, which is bury the problem, drown in alcohol, and "move-on." She has a history of doing this with anything, so I didn't really believe her. Fast forward to last night, and I found out from one of my good friends that she is already dating someone else. Like I said, I'm not exactly surprised that she would do this, because she can't ever face anything on her own. But at the same time, I was also taken aback. I feel a flood of emotions ranging from relief, to anger, to sorrow, to inadequacy, to betrayal, etc... And this was after she went on a spiel a few weeks back about hoping to put things back together between us at a future time. I'm just at a loss. A million things are running through my head. "Did she cheat on me with this guy?" "Did she already have him lined up while she was still with me?" "Am I really that easy to forget?" etc... I just don't know what to think or what to do. Any outside point of view would help me immensely. Link to post Share on other sites
SoulFinger Posted October 13, 2011 Share Posted October 13, 2011 Hi Infinity, I lived together with my ex for 4 years and like yours my ex had replaced me after 4 weeks as well last year.She is now in her 4th relationship after we broke up last year June. No,she hasn't forgotten the 4 yrs together with you and of course she is on a rebound just like my ex was.I know it won't be easy because I was a in a terrible mess after the break up but please stay strong and please maintain N/C. Link to post Share on other sites
ken_25 Posted October 13, 2011 Share Posted October 13, 2011 My ex girlfriend of 4+ years broke up a little over 4 weeks ago. During this time we hadn't really been talking, except to tie up loose ends at our old apartment. Not but two weeks ago, she started texting me in the middle of the night, asking if I missed her, telling me how hard things were for her etc... I didn't really say much back. Additionally, she tried really hard to convince me that she wasn't going to do what she always does, which is bury the problem, drown in alcohol, and "move-on." She has a history of doing this with anything, so I didn't really believe her. Fast forward to last night, and I found out from one of my good friends that she is already dating someone else. Like I said, I'm not exactly surprised that she would do this, because she can't ever face anything on her own. But at the same time, I was also taken aback. I feel a flood of emotions ranging from relief, to anger, to sorrow, to inadequacy, to betrayal, etc... And this was after she went on a spiel a few weeks back about hoping to put things back together between us at a future time. I'm just at a loss. A million things are running through my head. "Did she cheat on me with this guy?" "Did she already have him lined up while she was still with me?" "Am I really that easy to forget?" etc... I just don't know what to think or what to do. Any outside point of view would help me immensely. As hard as it is, try and forget her with this other guy. It's not going to last, unfortunately we also don't know how long it will continue on. Could be a month, 8 months, 2 years even. She may have cheated on you, she may have had this guy lined up, maybe not, so don't dwell too much on it. One thing im sure about, she has not forgotten you. I'm sure she is thinking about you. Cut her out, NC needs to be implemented now. She left you, fed you crap, and is out screwing someone else. She doesn't confront her problems and buries them deep down, this is someone you are better off not having as a partner. Remember that. You are better off, this is her loss. Go NC, start over, stay busy, be around good friends and family members. Post here as much as you need to, we're behind you. Link to post Share on other sites
immitable Posted October 13, 2011 Share Posted October 13, 2011 Someone posted this blog yesterday and there you have the NC psychology very well put, you should read it if you are interested. it is adressed to women but I think it applies to us guys as well. I found it interesting, thanks to the person posting it. http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/ Link to post Share on other sites
Author infinity8245 Posted October 13, 2011 Author Share Posted October 13, 2011 Thanks for the responses everyone. My logical mind tells me that this is a rebound, but unfortunately, my emotional mind is running the show right now. We are tying up the last few loose ends from our apartment together, but I made it clear I want to get this done ASAP so that she can leave me alone. I don't think she knows that I'm aware that she's in a relationship...she blocked me on Facebook and I found out from a mutual friend that is currently re-evaluating her opinion of my ex. Perhaps this will ultimately be good. I had been holding on to hope, and now I have a real reason not to. I have reasons to realize why she is not a good person for me, and her doing this really only vindicates some of the worst things I thought about her. It doesn't feel like it now (the wound is still too fresh), but this will probably help me really move on and not want to be with her ever again. On a side note, I found a therapist today through my graduate school's health program. The service is free for students, and I think that it might really help me cope and begin the healing process. Link to post Share on other sites
ken_25 Posted October 13, 2011 Share Posted October 13, 2011 Sounds good, you're on a good path now. Stick with it. Link to post Share on other sites
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