Kraznapolsky Posted October 4, 2011 Share Posted October 4, 2011 ...basically my girlfriend and I have been broken up a year now. We rarely talk now, and I cant remember the last time I saw her. We were together 7 years so it was a serious relationship. Straight after we broke up I begged and pleaded and hassled her, and looking back it is no wonder she avoided me. It is only recently (after a really depressing year) that I have begun to take account for my problems in the relationship and do some soul searching. I didnt always treat her right, I took her for granted and somewhat neglected the relationship. Not to mention my weed/booze/porn habit too. Things werent always like this. We used to be a sweet couple. Really sweet and really in love but somewhere along the way I got extremely depressed and now I'm paying for losing a good thing. Now before anyone points out, I know what a lousy ******* I've been and I'm so ashamed of myself, you have no idea. It keeps me awake at night sometimes knowing that I've lost the best thing that's ever happened to me and the same time hurt the person who I loved more than anything. The immediate aftermath of the breakup I may have been in denial about my actions but lately I have done some serious reflection on my own problems and demons and it has been a painful experience. I feel stronger for it though, and have made a promise to myself to quit all my bad habits. So far so good... Only now it is clearer to me more than ever what a good person in my life I have lost, and no matter how much I improve myself and make a genuine attempt to become a better person, she will never know as we dont communicate ever. And if she did, she most likely would never forgive me, and I wouldn't blame her. So I come to you for advice, what would you suggest I do? Is there anything more a man can do? And do you think it's possible even in the most unlikely cases for a relationship to be reconciled? Friendship or otherwise? This forum has helped me in my darkest hours, and I have learnt about people's relationship experiences, I thank you in advance. Link to post Share on other sites
TheDovic Posted October 4, 2011 Share Posted October 4, 2011 Hey dude, Good for you for recognising you're own faults, but I know it's very difficult to do this when you're in shock following a break up. If you really want to make amends the first step is to tell her. I know you don't talk but if you want her to know you have no choice! I suggest an email, and when you send it don't expect too much. At the very least what this will do is let your ex know you've acknowledged your faults and have made an effort to rectify them! Even if she doesn't reply, she will at least know this and it may get her thinking. In this email be concise i.e. keep it brief and have VERY LITTLE emotion in it. Don't tell her you love her or want her back, just simply tell her you have acknowledged what you have done wrong and are sorry for hurting her because she was important to you. Also tell her you hope she is doing well, but don't ask her any questions about herself. She might feel obliged to reply and if a girl (especially an ex who dumped you) feels like they are being chased they will run in the opposite direction! If she wants to reply she will... All you are doing with this is laying the groundwork so she no longer views you as a loser who took her for granted, she will see someone who has grown and is NON NEEDY. You said it yourself, she avoided you like the plague when you acted this way after the break up, so don't do it again! Link to post Share on other sites
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