nick01675 Posted July 18, 2011 Posted July 18, 2011 i fought with my best friend for some reason, i just lost control during the fight i abused her via text msg, the msg was very very abusive with lot of bad words which a girl wouldnt have expected from her friend. the reason for the fight was she was ignoring me ( a few days back she had made out with a random guy) and i used to get pissed of tht.i had a strong feelings for her(she knew tht) she was "confused".. anyways i messed it up. there was NC for abt 6 months, last week i sent her a msg asking for sorry , she replied(i was happy as she replied) but all were short replies ( just one word answers) just asked her hw she doing, work an all.. seems like she was showing lot of attitude. i feeling bad now.. i miss her, but she doesnt give a damn abt it. should i msg her again? dont tel me to get over her as i tried hard didnt work out.. probably i was attached to her..
HeartOfAPhoenix Posted July 18, 2011 Posted July 18, 2011 try asking her an open ended question. I don't know her so I can't think of any off the top of my head and it would be easier if you could do this in person but really think about a question that she can't reply with simple yes or no answers. this will determine whether she is ignoring you or just doesn't care about you any more. And it might also take down her defences after answering and you might be back on goodish terms with her. if this doesn't work I suggest cutting your loses, 6 months is a long time to waste on someone you probably don't have a chance with.
Author nick01675 Posted July 20, 2011 Author Posted July 20, 2011 she is very adamant.. she is close to only guy- friends she doesnt like female- friends... i think right now she doesnt have any 1 as a good friend to hang out with and she is busy with her work.. weekends she sits at home( got this from other source dont know if its true.).. anyways i haven't called or msg her till now, tot i'll wait for some more time..
betterdeal Posted July 20, 2011 Posted July 20, 2011 Mate, she only has male friends. So, if you're deepest secret wish to get together with her were to come true, you'd then be with a girl who only has male friends. And when the chips are down, you have a bad day, you guys have an argument, she'll talk to a male friend. You'll be jealous whether or not he wants to get it on with her. And things will get worse between you two. It's a whole world of paranoia and stress. Be honest with yourself. You fancy her, and you're respectful hence you don't hit on her all the time and you regret the nasty things you said. But you did say them after she got it on with someone else. So you are jealous. But she is not your girlfriend. That's a terrible state to be in: you have all the downsides of a relationship and none of the upsides. My advice is to leave her alone. Create some space between you guys. She's not as into you as you are into her. Stop using text. Say things to her face or by phone if you have things to say. If you want to, write a letter but do not send it. Writing can help you clear your thoughts. Have a cry, mourn your loss, wipe your tears away and pick yourself up. She's not the one for you. *fistbump*
Author nick01675 Posted July 20, 2011 Author Posted July 20, 2011 yeah!! i know she's not the one for me, but i'm not able forget her. dont know y.. i been trying hard to get over her, but thats not happening.. i had dated another chick(she asked me out ) but that didnt work out, i told her everything and called it of.. i badly want forget her but its not happening i'm trying tat from past 6 months.. i still stalk her facebook profile and get jealous when i see her adding new "guy friends" she stays lane besides mine.. fortunately i havent seen her till now coz i avoid going tat side . i dont know wat will be my situation if i see her with a guy.. i dont go to places where we used to hang out.. will i be able to forget her?? i dont want her in my life anymore.. dont tell me those general tips like go 2 the gym, get a hobby , get a professional help...
betterdeal Posted July 20, 2011 Posted July 20, 2011 Stop trying to forget her and start letting go of the feelings you have for her. You have no reason to forget her but every reason to stop harbouring all these pent up feelings. She doesn't fancy you. Let it go.
Chi townD Posted July 20, 2011 Posted July 20, 2011 I know you don't want to hear "get over her." But hears the deal.....get over her. You need to cut all ties with her. peroid. To include defriending her on Facebook, not following her on twitter...etc...etc... The point is, you are NOT allowing yourself to heal from this if you're CONSTANTLY checking up on her. Now, once you go TOTAL NC on her, is it gonna suck? Oh yeah, you're gonna have some really rough days. But, I swear to you, one day you'll wake up one morning and she won't be the first thing that pops into your head, then the next it will be longere and longer peroids of you not thinking about her. Then, you will get to a point that when you DO think about her, you'll be indifferent. But, you have to give yourself a chance.
Author nick01675 Posted July 25, 2011 Author Posted July 25, 2011 i think i'm back to square 1.. i just wasted 6 mnths..
HeartOfAPhoenix Posted July 25, 2011 Posted July 25, 2011 i think i'm back to square 1.. i just wasted 6 mnths.. Sorry it didn't work out But now you can walk away knowing you did everything you possibly could have.
Author nick01675 Posted July 25, 2011 Author Posted July 25, 2011 yeah.. now i dont have to be thinking tat she'll call or msg. thinking i'll get a second chance.. now its confirmed tat she wont come back. i did my best to get her back.. no luck .. its ok.. i hope i recover.
betterdeal Posted July 25, 2011 Posted July 25, 2011 You will, you will. Go and meet some other women, and notice how quickly you get over her. You don't need to date them or get married. Just go out and flirt a little. In fact, don't do anything out of the ordinary - just be you, in the high street or town or the mall and 3 out of 4 days, someone will think, "I fancy him", and all you have to do is learn how to spot it. And you don't have to do anything about it. Just enjoy it. Seriously, on any given day there will be hot chicks who are horny, and they see you and you're their type at that time, and you get a little thrill out of it. Just enjoy life.
Author nick01675 Posted July 26, 2011 Author Posted July 26, 2011 Guys 1 more doubt... as i said i stay close by to her place, i'm scared to get out just in case if see her. i just want to know will it be the same if i get over her?? will i get the same pain if see her in person, maybe with a guy or alone?? will i be able to go to the same place where we usually hang out??
betterdeal Posted July 26, 2011 Posted July 26, 2011 If you are over her, you won't feel too bad to be in her company, but you'll also not feel inclined to hang out in the same places as her so much. It changes from person to person. Some exes, I have absolutely no hard feelings for. Some I'm good friends with, and others, I get upset by if I meet them. And that changes over time, as you fill the void that the end of your relationship represents with other things that interest you.
Author nick01675 Posted August 2, 2011 Author Posted August 2, 2011 Thanx!! Betterdeal.. NC till now .. feeling really bad..
Author nick01675 Posted August 2, 2011 Author Posted August 2, 2011 Just work!! should start Gym.. Thank god i'm getting a lot of work.. I'm busy with that but i think of her when i'm not occupied.. Right now we have to release our project so i'm busy with that,but the release is tomorrow and i'l be having lot of free time after that. I'm scared that she will pop into my head the entire day. I pray that i should not get up in the middle of the night when i go to bed but that's not happening What was the mistake i did in the last 6 months when i kept NC??. why dint i get over her??
betterdeal Posted August 2, 2011 Posted August 2, 2011 Man, it takes time. Your subconscious is your inner child. It's where you feelings come from, and it's forms about 70% of what is you. The other 30% is the conscious mind; the bit that does the reading and the talking. You have to let the feelings out. They come is fits and starts, little bursts here and there. So, now your project is over, you have time and space to process some more feelings. Embrace it. It may feel terrible, but it is just feelings. Feelings you need to feel, to express, if you are to move on. Let them out, let it go and enjoy the good weather - go for a walk, a swim, a massage, a day in the park. You will get there in the end. It just takes time.
Author nick01675 Posted August 2, 2011 Author Posted August 2, 2011 Thanks for the quick reply!! U guys are great.. I always log into LS when i'm depressed. I'm feeling better now. Thanks betterdeal.. Will be back soon..
Author nick01675 Posted August 7, 2011 Author Posted August 7, 2011 Sorry to say i broke NC.. It just happened.. I met her yesterday after 6 months.. i didnt even expect her there.. i tried my best not to talk to her, but i couldnt help it ... I told her sorry, she was very cool initially and we spoke for abt 30 mins i was having high hopes that she will be back as the way she spoke made me think that i might get her back but that didnt happen , she just went off by saying that she cant forgive me.. she told me that it took time for her to move on and asked me to do the same.. i went home and started msg her explaining her wat went wrong.. she didnt listen.. I begged like a loser and asked her to forgive me , but she didnt. I dont know wats happening to me .. i didnt sleep the whole nite.. I was recovering.. i was maintaining NC.. i thought i might be on track soon... but after yesterday incident i dont i will be back to normal.. I'm scared to get out of my house thinking that i might bump into her again.. wat should i do now?? Please help.. please reply soon. get me out of this..
betterdeal Posted August 7, 2011 Posted August 7, 2011 Hi Nick, don't be ashamed and don't worry too much: most people don't get the hang of losing contact with the ex straight away. You'll just need to start again, but now you have the knowledge that when you do break NC, you know what it feels like. Let go. Let go of the past. That doesn't mean forget it, it means stop clinging onto it. The past is an event that happened. The present is where you are right now. This is what letting go means: http://images.elephantjournal.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/07/Metaphysical-Phunnies.jpg
Author nick01675 Posted August 7, 2011 Author Posted August 7, 2011 yeah i know it feels really bad .. but i was helpless, her visit was unexpected im just having a bad time. i was trying to forget it but now the memories have rewinded.. it feels like the same day when we had a fight 6 months back. dont know think ill go for a short vacation, may be this month end.. i just wanna forget her. i've tried my best its all i can do and now i know she wont be back.. i'll never have that hope. betterdeal thanks for the reply and the link as well.
Author nick01675 Posted August 7, 2011 Author Posted August 7, 2011 Today it was the worst day of my life, was at home the entire day thinking of her!! Didnt have food not even water.. I tot ill go out , as i did i saw her again!! yes i saw her!! this time at a different place, i didn't talk her, just went back home. I'm super depressed. i tend to relate each and everything with her. If i see her favorite car i get depressed, if i go to her favorite hang out spot i get depressed, i don't need a reason to get depressed now.. I'm depressed 24/7. If i get hear a good news i get happy and he very next second i get depressed thinking that she is not there with me so that i can share that news.. will this feeling be life long?? please guys .. i know i been posting alot these days.. feels a lot better when u guys reply. at least i have that feeling that some1 is listening to me.
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