69ways Posted July 12, 2011 Posted July 12, 2011 It took her 40 days after I asked to not call me unless for the specific reasons and this was not one of them. As most of you have heard, there was an accident at a navy base in Cyprus. I live a long way from there but she called to see if I am ok. I believe she used it as an excuse. She started telling me about her cousin who committed suicide last weekend. She was ok with it surpassingly I heard her out for a while and told her i had to go. She thanked me for answering the phone and was speaking to me in a very nice soft way. Do I raise my hopes? NO but it makes me happy to thing that with the first chance she initiates contact. I am sticking to my NC I am not contacting her.
smudge21 Posted July 12, 2011 Posted July 12, 2011 Oddly my ex made contact recently too. Did it raise any hopes, not really, but it did make me feel good to know I'm still on her mind. I'm still remaining NC and refuse to go looking for info, even though I am tempted to find out what's going on and why she would make contact. In my situation, we were good friends before all this and our break up was mutual and okay. No anger or hatred, so even though I am NC (and I've explained why in the past) I see no reason not to be polite and respond if she gets in touch. So far her contact has been minimal and generally just random stuff - none of that "I miss you" stuff. Just basic friendly kind of things, so I respond in kind. I always see NC as a guideline rather than a rule, and aslong as this type of contact doesn't set you back or give you false hope, then why not. Of course, everyone's different and it depends on the situation. For example, I doubt I'd be as civil if the breakup had involved cheating or lies.
lonelynyc Posted July 12, 2011 Posted July 12, 2011 (edited) Sounds like she's playing games with you. You still care too much to skirt around how you feel just to discuss trivial things. Edited July 12, 2011 by lonelynyc
Author 69ways Posted July 14, 2011 Author Posted July 14, 2011 Thats why i kept it short and when I wanted to put the phone down , she was thanking me for speaking to her...... Cant wait to see her reaction when she finds out I am travelling to her country and staying the city she lives but not contacting her. I am there with work but we have some common friends and I am meeting them
nana841121 Posted July 14, 2011 Posted July 14, 2011 May i make the impression that you are still not over her? since you still post in this forum about her.
Author 69ways Posted July 14, 2011 Author Posted July 14, 2011 Why go NC if i was over her, theres no point to not be friends unless there are feelings in the way, so i am struggling to see why you came up with what you wrote
Eddie Edirol Posted July 14, 2011 Posted July 14, 2011 Theres no doors opening here. But if she contacts you again about nothing, there might be something. Dont ever get your hopes up though, youre doing good staying nc. Really, you shouldnt be ansng the phone if its her anyway. Let her work for it.
Author 69ways Posted July 14, 2011 Author Posted July 14, 2011 Well yes I agree but she has some items from me and we have some unfinished economic issues, so I don't want to be an a.. and her thinking I am not up to talk about it.
geegirl Posted July 14, 2011 Posted July 14, 2011 May i make the impression that you are still not over her? since you still post in this forum about her. I don't think he said anything about being over her. He's clearly on the right path, focusing on himself and is getting to indifference, hence his post. Don't understand why you would shoot him down versus supporting his moving forward.
Author 69ways Posted July 15, 2011 Author Posted July 15, 2011 I just went back 100 years today I got a sms from her gf who's man is a good friend of mine saying she knows I am coming to their town for holidays/business but my ex is in Mexico then. I explained to her that it was not right to tell me this as I have no concern if she is there but because we planned to go there together I really collapsed today because all the memories came back. She also told me without asking that she is still single......
Author 69ways Posted July 18, 2011 Author Posted July 18, 2011 Its official, this woman is depressive. Found out she is travelling to the other side of the world for holidays...ALONE and going where we talked about going this year. As time goes by and with her still single 6 months down the road, crying for no reasons, keeps calling and now this, I really started to believe she is not psychologically ok Depressive maybe? She said she was after the break up and that was a family trend , actually her cousin committed suicide last week. Any opinions would be most appreciated.
Sebstian Posted July 18, 2011 Posted July 18, 2011 I wouldn't put too much into it mate. Sure she's lonely and depressed about it, but that doesn't mean that it's because she can't be with you. Only that she hasn't met somebody to fulfill her needs. When she gets really desperate she will call anybody who have some sort of significance to her, including you. But she dumped you and weren't there to support you healing, so why should you be there for her now, knowing that she will be gone when back on top, leaving you shattered once again. I went home with a girl this weekend, and it was clear that she really needed to have a man in her life. Her ex was desperate to be with her, so she fed bread crumbs to get a little support... don't go there my friend. // Seb
Author 69ways Posted July 19, 2011 Author Posted July 19, 2011 I was there and cut her off completely m8 because of this. My issues is not that i was fulfilling her needs,I believe I was. Countless times she had confirmed this..... What broke my heart was the fact that we got engaged and set up a wedding date , just for her to pull out of it with as excuses , issues that took place years before.....
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