When you dumped your ex, do you ever think about him

[tcwhiteshark]

O.K. females please help me out. Just a few questions. 1) When you dumped your ex, do you ever think about him and if so when do you really think about him, birthdays , anniversarys, your first kiss ?

2)After dumping your ex, did you ever have regrets or feelings of guilt ?

3)Have you ever dumped your ex without giving a reason and just shut him out and would never return his calls or acknowledge him?

 

4)What was the most romantic thing your ex ever tried to do to win you back?

 

5)After dumping your ex have you ever gotten back after months of seperation and if so why ?

Thanx for any responses

[2SidestoStories]

I am female...hear me, um...reply?

 

1) I have dumped and been dumped equally in my life. Kind of an odd balance sort of thing, but your quesion was "when do I really think about him...?" I have thought of each of my exes at odd times, really. Sometimes there is a word association that just sends me off down nostalgia lane, other times it is birthdays (theirs) and occasionally on anniversaries of events and such. The thing is, I think about exes I have dumped and been dumped by. My way of thinking though tends to be, "Okay, lady, what have we learned about THIS one?" Sometimes it's as simple and silly as thinking of that night when I had finally gotten to see the ocean for the first time in years (I live in the middle of the desert, mind you, so this was a BIG deal to me...the ex I'm thinking about here happens to have been a California Rocker Boy...) And high tide was coming in late at night. He was quite aware of this, but I was not, and I wound up with absolutely soaked through shoes and pant legs. It was also January when this happened, so it was COLD. I think back on that and smile. That sort of thing, more often than not...Don't know if that helps.

 

2) Regrets and feelings of guilt have this tendency to be intertwined. I know zero people who live their lives free of guilt or regret. I have never known holy men/monks etc. but I would bet that it is simply a human failing to have guilt. Perhaps more so for Western cultured folks who have grown up with the notion that there is a definite set of rules that societally, we should follow. Granted, there are always exceptions...However, in the cases where I did the dumping, I really felt that it was time to move on in my life. There is only so much guilt or regret that one can allow oneself if moving on is the way to go.

 

3) I have never personally completely shut out an ex. I am going to take a leap here and assume that this is the situation, or a part of it anyway, that you are dealing with here. Sounds like one or the other of you "screwed up" somewhere along the line, and that she may feel DONE. Either that or you need to respect her time and space. This is obviously one of the most difficult things for any person to do, especially if there are still feelings on one side. However, it is absolutely imperative that this happens, for both your sake and hers. If she says it's over, more than likely that is the case. For whatever reason.

 

4) My exes were never tremendously romantic to begin with so I can't help here at all.

 

5) This is another one that I can't really help with. My most recent separation has been quite short. My opinion here, though, and anyone may feel quite free to disagree, is that things happen for a reason, and that although you may never understand that reason, you have to cut your losses and move on. People sometimes do break up for silly or "pointless" reasons, but as there is no real info for me to base my response on, from your side OR mine, I have to leave it at that.

 

I'm a bit jaded currently, so I may not be the best person to actually respond to this!

[Jamie31]

Sure! I'll answer these questions!!

 

1) Nope, never

 

2) Nope

 

3) Yep

 

4) He didn't - I told him to get the hell outta my life, so I think he got the point.

 

5) Nope

 

 

HOPE I HELPED!!!

[julieg]

yes to #3. i broke up with a significant ex this way. the reason: immaturity and fear to tell him that i really loved him. i felt that i may stumble and let him know how i really feel and thus it would be harder to make the break. sounds a bit confusing but it is not. i was very young and knew that i had lots of living to do and the world to experience and he was not of that same feeling. he wanted to settle down and was talking of marriage.

 

this is weird and a tragic love story. when i broke up with him i prayed that he would find someone to truly love and would love him(i never told him this) i did not expect him to wait for me--something that is totally selfish (he refused to have a open dating situation) this really hurt as it would have been easy to stay with the staus quo and see what else was out there. although he may have proposed one day and i would have had to decline (and that would have really broken his heart) i often imagined that one day we would find each other and be together for ever in the afterlife when i didn't have demons to satisfy and oats to sow.

[Jefferson12]

What do i do though ladies???My girl wants to move out. Were in our mid 20's ... We 've been together sooo long and she told me i was the boy of her dreams many many many times, How can she all of the sudden have a change of heart??? I understand she feels she needs her independence from me now, needs to figure out who she is, figure her life out, But as much as i'm supporting her decision and telling her i'm here for her and want her to be happy, I just can't understand what happened. I did nothing but treat her good. AND!!!!!!! she's talking about moving in with one of her good friends (who is a GUY and has a crush on her, and she knows he does) But

She swears up and down that she does not like him in a romantic way. Should this bug me?