Can an apology bring an ex-girlfriend back?

[Username37]

My GF dumped 4 weeks ago and during these weeks, I've been working out and trying to better myself. I also been thinking about all the mistakes I did during our relationship, and I fully understand why we broke up. I'm going to see my ex on friday. Can an apology bring her back? I've been reading articles about how to make a good apology and I got a plan on the things I'm going to say and stuff.

[ADF]

There is no way to answer this question without knowing what caused the split. And what does working out have to do with anything?

 

Given the fact she initiated the break-up, the odds of an apology changing her mind seem slim. But again, we can't know without more specific information.

[Username37]

The working out thing was just to tell what I've been doing INSTEAD of constantly contacting my ex and stuff.

 

And we broke up because she thought I wasn't very supportive and she said I caused her a lot of stressed to the point where she couldn't take it.

 

EDIT: Didn't mean to say "she thought"

Edited June 16, 2010 by Username37

[Ronni_W]

Yes, you can apologize to her for your past behaviour, but I'd suggest it might be even more important for you to tell her what is your plan for not engaging in that same behaviour in the future. So:

 

What specific kind of support was she missing and how are you planning to provide it for her, in the future? (If, indeed, you do have the desire and the inner resources to provide it.)

If you were stressing her out with your own problems and issues, how are you planning to deal with those in the future? If you were stressing her out over something else, how are you going to not do that in the future?

 

If you can demonstrate that you get the specifics of her dissatisfaction/upset, and that you have a reasonable and realistic plan for your own improved attitude and behaviour...then you'll have a better shot (not guaranteed, but better.)

 

Above assumes that you believe that you were not supportive enough, and that you did indeed stress her out with things that were your responsibility to take care of for yourself and on your own (without involving her.) And also that you are willing and able to meet her reasonable relationship needs.

 

Best of luck.

[Ilovecake]

Keep in mind if someone breaks up with you the reason they give you for the breakup is usually only a small part of the whole story. It's usually a combination of several different things, some which you might not ever be able to change or apologize for. The dumper is going to tell you the one reason they think will cause the least amount of drama during the breakup and keep the rest to them selves.

[Username37]

Thanks for the responses guys

 

In my apology, I'm not going to put her on a guilt trip. I'm also going to acknowledge the damage I caused and how I used this break up time to look back and stuff.

 

After the apology, should I ask for another chance and offer her time?

[Ilovecake]

You do realize that groveling (or as you call it an apology) can push her further away? Please do not get your hopes up that this will help your situation and get her back, the chances are very slim. If it happens great, you have accomplished more than 90% of the people that post here but be prepared that she might not take this they way you hope she does and you might feel even worse the next day than you do now.

 

Good luck.

[DenverBachelor]

Can a water gun put out a forest fire?

[r6060]

If you are crafting an apology to specifically get her back, then it's not really an apology at all. Apologize if you feel you were wrong and you understand something you truly didn't before not because it's what you think she needs to hear to forgive you and give you a second chance.

 

Just be confident and sincere. If she had feelings for you once at the same level you have for her, she hasn't moved on, and she is still talking to you, then you have a lot more going for you than you think you do.