LoveShack.org Community Forums

Reload this Page LoveShack.org Community Forums > Breaking Up, Reconciliation & Coping > Breaks and Breaking Up

Can an apology bring an ex-girlfriend back?


Breaks and Breaking Up It happens to most everyone at some point in life! Share your experiences!

 
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 16th June 2010, 12:25 PM   #1
Established Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 955
Can an apology bring an ex-girlfriend back?

My GF dumped 4 weeks ago and during these weeks, I've been working out and trying to better myself. I also been thinking about all the mistakes I did during our relationship, and I fully understand why we broke up. I'm going to see my ex on friday. Can an apology bring her back? I've been reading articles about how to make a good apology and I got a plan on the things I'm going to say and stuff.
Username37 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 16th June 2010, 12:28 PM   #2
ADF
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Chicago, IL
Posts: 2,117
There is no way to answer this question without knowing what caused the split. And what does working out have to do with anything?

Given the fact she initiated the break-up, the odds of an apology changing her mind seem slim. But again, we can't know without more specific information.
ADF is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 16th June 2010, 12:33 PM   #3
Established Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 955
The working out thing was just to tell what I've been doing INSTEAD of constantly contacting my ex and stuff.

And we broke up because she thought I wasn't very supportive and she said I caused her a lot of stressed to the point where she couldn't take it.

EDIT: Didn't mean to say "she thought"

Last edited by Username37; 16th June 2010 at 12:36 PM..
Username37 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 16th June 2010, 2:20 PM   #4
Established Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Toronto, ON
Posts: 6,674
Yes, you can apologize to her for your past behaviour, but I'd suggest it might be even more important for you to tell her what is your plan for not engaging in that same behaviour in the future. So:

What specific kind of support was she missing and how are you planning to provide it for her, in the future? (If, indeed, you do have the desire and the inner resources to provide it.)
If you were stressing her out with your own problems and issues, how are you planning to deal with those in the future? If you were stressing her out over something else, how are you going to not do that in the future?

If you can demonstrate that you get the specifics of her dissatisfaction/upset, and that you have a reasonable and realistic plan for your own improved attitude and behaviour...then you'll have a better shot (not guaranteed, but better.)

Above assumes that you believe that you were not supportive enough, and that you did indeed stress her out with things that were your responsibility to take care of for yourself and on your own (without involving her.) And also that you are willing and able to meet her reasonable relationship needs.

Best of luck.
Ronni_W is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 16th June 2010, 2:30 PM   #5
Established Member
 
Ilovecake's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Haddonfield
Posts: 1,113
Keep in mind if someone breaks up with you the reason they give you for the breakup is usually only a small part of the whole story. It's usually a combination of several different things, some which you might not ever be able to change or apologize for. The dumper is going to tell you the one reason they think will cause the least amount of drama during the breakup and keep the rest to them selves.
__________________
Remember, no human condition is ever permanent. Then you will not be overjoyed in good fortune nor too scornful in misfortune.
Ilovecake is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 16th June 2010, 5:51 PM   #6
Established Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 955
Thanks for the responses guys

In my apology, I'm not going to put her on a guilt trip. I'm also going to acknowledge the damage I caused and how I used this break up time to look back and stuff.

After the apology, should I ask for another chance and offer her time?
Username37 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 16th June 2010, 5:57 PM   #7
Established Member
 
Ilovecake's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Haddonfield
Posts: 1,113
You do realize that groveling (or as you call it an apology) can push her further away? Please do not get your hopes up that this will help your situation and get her back, the chances are very slim. If it happens great, you have accomplished more than 90% of the people that post here but be prepared that she might not take this they way you hope she does and you might feel even worse the next day than you do now.

Good luck.
Ilovecake is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 16th June 2010, 8:58 PM   #8
Established Member
 
DenverBachelor's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Denver, CO
Posts: 854
Can a water gun put out a forest fire?
DenverBachelor is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 17th June 2010, 3:10 AM   #9
Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Midwest US
Posts: 15
If you are crafting an apology to specifically get her back, then it's not really an apology at all. Apologize if you feel you were wrong and you understand something you truly didn't before not because it's what you think she needs to hear to forgive you and give you a second chance.

Just be confident and sincere. If she had feelings for you once at the same level you have for her, she hasn't moved on, and she is still talking to you, then you have a lot more going for you than you think you do.
r6060 is offline   Reply With Quote
 

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

 

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Should you wait for the guy to bring up the girlfriend/boyfriend thing? BellaMoon Dating 7 23rd February 2010 6:49 PM
How can I bring us back together? rock24 Breaks and Breaking Up 7 2nd January 2009 4:15 PM
how do you bring her back? vampireforce Second Chances 12 17th December 2005 2:03 PM
What to say in an apology letter to ex girlfriend? jordkorn Breaks and Breaking Up 8 21st November 2005 1:44 PM
Ex's girlfriend/my ex-friend wrote an apology letter, what 2 do?!?! scubaskunk Second Chances 1 23rd June 2004 11:14 PM


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 4:35 AM.

Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.


Copyright © 1997-2018 LoveShack.org. All Rights Reserved.