How to try to get her back.

[Gids]

Hi everybody.

I hope you can offer advice on my situation. I recently met a girl through a dating site and eventually met up with her at the weekend. We immediately hit it off and both agreed to see each other the next night. Well, the first night ended with us both in her car being quite passionate. We were both glad that we hadn't been drinking, or it could have ended there and then. Anyway, while I was at her house the following night, she confided in me something that happened to her when she was younger. As she told me this, I realised that she must really trust me to have told me that ! We ended up in her bedroom, getting even more passionate than the previous night, but both agreeing to wait until she felt right.

She was organising a play for her school that week, so I asked her if I could go to it on the Wednesday. She agreed and said she would ring with the details on Monday. As I was expecting an important call that evening, I sent her a text on her mobile to ask when she was ringing. I heard nothing for over 3 hours. When she finally sent a text back, she said the musician who was to perform the music for the play had walked out of rehearsals and wouldn't be coming back. Said she was under a lot of pressure and couldn't cope with a relationship at the moment.

I sent her an e-mail saying how I felt about her news and she replied, very honestly, that when I had sent the text, she was actually in an interview for another job and my text annoyed her ! Not my fault, she said, as she didn't tell me about it.

I would really like to be more than just the suggested friends, because each time I see her, I will get all 'lovey' and it will more than likely drive her away. I suppose the thing I am most frightened of is that she will find someone else when she is ready to date again ! I cannot stand the thought of never seeing her again, but don't want to drive her away.

Any advice on how to keep her interested would be most appreciated ! Period between correspondance, what to say etc.

Thank you all for your time.

[yes]

don't you find it extremely odd that

1 - she makes out with a guy she just met (i mean a kiss is fine, but getting passionate in a car?)

2 - she says she's not ready for a relationship b/c some musician is causing trouble - what, is she going to break up with you every time there's a difficulty?

 

if you just really want to sleep with her, wait a few weeks, call her up, take her out, and try to go for it.

 

if you want a relationship with her, please tell me why, b/c for the above two reasons, i wouldn't date her (please note that reason 1 alone wouldn't stop me, but 2 PLUS 1 is too much).

 

Oh, and for future reference, don't call or text people if they said they'd contact you - it's better to miss the call.

 

that's my view!

-yes

[Gids]

Thanks for the advice yes.

I can understand your concerns about points 1 & 2, but we both felt a 'spark' between us on that first meeting and it felt right to take it further later on (in the car), but as you say making out, we just kissed,cuddled etc. but much more than just the norm. I really felt something for her !

As for point 2, I would like to hope that I could be there to help in those times of stress and somehow help her to overcome them. The real point I am trying to make is that I don't want to drive her away by being too persistant, just enough to let her know how I feel about her, but as I said, i'd always have feelings for her, which I have found in the past have driven people away.

I would hate it if the text lost her chance of getting that job (as I said in my e-mail to her) and she would hate me for evermore. I am not too forward when it comes to emotion, as I have been hurt in the past, but just felt something about her, which I cannot get out of my mind.

Anyway, thanks for replying and I will think about what you have said, but don't think it will be anytime soon that I cannot bear never to see her again.