Break / breakup depression confusion story

[OmegaSol]

This is my first post, I've been a long time reader and have taken alot from this forum, I believe I should post my story.

 

I dated a girl for about 2 years, whom I loved more than anything. We had a really good relationship, the kind I believed I could not have existed. We were both 24 years old.*

 

But 2 months before the relationship ended things started to become wierd. Like day to night, she started dissapearing, texting and calling less and generally just seemed to care less about us. I knew she had lots of stress in her life, bills, family problems, work issues and many more. But I always supported her, loved her and was there for her.

 

This progression got worse to the point there would be times I'd come over and shed just throw me out tell me leave after I drove 45 minutes to her house. Finally she told me she needed a break, to fix herself, reflect and get over the depression but "theirs no guarantee we'd get back together".*

 

I was sad but I understood, depression does this, you push those close to you away (I'm a 4th year psychology student). I figured sure, give her time and she'd come back, I did treat her very well and it wouldn't take long for her to miss all the good I brought to her life.

 

I kept friends with her on social networks and after some weeks realized she seems to be going out and partying more. Surely not what a person getting over depression does. So I freaked out... Yes... Long story short that horrible side of me came out, texting, calling. Apologizing for anything I did wrong, professing how much I loved and missed her and sometimes fits of anger for her being so selfish. Generally very annoying and weak.

 

Finally she gave up answering at all which annoyed me more. I got to the point I had a mental breakdown and she responded then. I finally got to say everything, make sure I ended on a good note with confirmation of a response. I knew she got it and then I decided there is no other thing I can do at this point and go "no contact" it's been a week since then, the longest I ever had, and it's just draining. It's been a month and a half since we broke up and each day it feels like she's going to miss me come back is less and less and shell just forget.

 

I know i'm a good guy with alot to offer. I'm fun, I go to college, have a good job, my own car, I live on my own, I go to the gym alot, I'm nice, sweet, caring, honest, mature and faithful. And I know sure I can find someone else, but it's her, someone else just feels disgusting and wrong, I want and I feel I want her back. I just don't know what to do.

 

My biggest question is if she's genuinly depressed, why am I the only casualty?Why can she party with friends and seemingly not care at all about our relationship and I'm the only thing she gets rid of.

 

I know I was good to her, and there is nothing we couldn't work on if she was unhappy about something. Meh. Thanks for reading.

[Space Ritual]

Omega,

 

You may be a Psych student, but one thing they dont teach you in college is that when somebody you are in a relationship with begins to take off on you, or leaves you in the lurch....waits until you get to her house and then throws you out post haste I am afraid what happened is that she was screwing soembody else and she didnt have the balls to break it off with you.

 

You may not want to believe this, or chalk it up to stress, but believe me, that act is old as the hills.

 

When she tossed you so suddenly after you arrived it was probably becuase you were ruining her plans of meeting up with her new squeeze that night. What she was doing by keeping you on social networks was keeping you around in case the new guy didnt work out. well apparently it did and as opposed to her telling you she just let you know by her silence.

 

It has happened to many of us in our lives. People just dont have the guts to tell somebody they want to screw somebopdy else.

 

Sorry if it seems harsh but you need to hear it and no one lese has even answered you, but I will.. it is what it is...she isnt coming back. and that is the truth.

[Space Ritual]

Finally she told me she needed a break, to fix herself, reflect and get over the depression but "theirs no guarantee we'd get back together".

 

 

That is terminology for"I am checking somebody else out and probably will be having sex with them, and I just cant tell it to you like that so just go away".

 

 

Its as plain as day.

 

"we need a break"

'I need space"

"I'm confused and need to (find, fix, work on) myself"

 

All fall in the same category..she wants to be with with another guy and you were the last one to find out.