Camron Posted May 19, 2003 Share Posted May 19, 2003 ...First of all, I want to say hi all, what's really good? I have a question that I think that you wise cats could answer. Me and my G/F had been dating for a period of two years. We recently broke up, because she suspected that I was cheating. She had keys to my apartment, and her friend's began to spy on me. The woman that she suspected me with, I'm not even 1% attracted too, and I think that deep down inside, she know's that I've never been with her, but she says that she cannot trust me. Now she has 'tenative' plans to move to another state, in a few months. I am a student, on the verge of completing school and moving on with my life. She calls me randomly when she's 'in the nieghborhood,' (usually late at night) to pick up some things that she left in my place. I love this person with all my heart; but I have a lot of issues that I need to work on and I don't want to stay around. We talk every other day, and I can tell that she is holding back emotionally, and the last time we had 'the talk,' she mentioned that she did'nt want to see anyone else, and wanted to find herself. I know she loves me, but I think that she wants to keep me around, because she might not find someone that can love her like me. She all but said that. A part of me is telling me to mail off her stuff and tell her that I have to move on, but a part of me tells me that there is a little hope. I believe that fresh ex's cannot be friends--breakups sould have a mouring period, with no contact---I can accept moving on, but not if she still is in love with me. She told me she is still attracted to me..sould I break the ties?? Link to post Share on other sites
Just A Girl2 Posted May 19, 2003 Share Posted May 19, 2003 We recently broke up, because she suspected that I was cheating. She had keys to my apartment, and her friend's began to spy on me. The woman that she suspected me with, I'm not even 1% attracted too, and I think that deep down inside, she know's that I've never been with her, but she says that she cannot trust me. Oh boy, afraid to say it but she sounds like a bit of a nutter. Going to the extreme of having a friend use the keys to your apartment that YOU'D given HER (I'm assuming that's what you're getting at here) to get into your place to spy on you, that is freaking bizarre, unstable, not to mention illegal trespassing and against the law. I'm not sure what good it would do to NOT cut all ties......if she's got such unfounded issues surrounding trust to have gone to the lengths she went to, even knowing you HADN'T been with this other chick, I'd say she needs a lot of help and time to get her ducks in a row.......and you deserve someone who will trust you, period. Had you *ever* given her any reason to mistrust you? (just curious) She sounds pretty messed up. Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted May 19, 2003 Share Posted May 19, 2003 It doesn't make any difference if she's still in love with you. That's totally irrelevant. SHE DOESN'T TRUST YOU and you can't have a relationship without trust. Moreover, you don't need a woman in your life who's going to be suspecting you without cause of cheating at every turn. Furthermore, it's pretty sick that she may be trying to "keep you around" in case she doesn't find somebody else. So you want to be a last resort reserve, who she doesn't trust. That's pretty crazy. Tell her if she doesn't come over within three days to get all her stuff, you will mail it and that you are moving on. Tell her exactly why. Nobody needs this kind of crap in their lives. I promise you, if you get back with a girl who doesn't trust you you will suffer all the days of your life. This relationship is OVER! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Camron Posted May 19, 2003 Author Share Posted May 19, 2003 ..Thanks for the replies, all. I do know that without trust, there is no relationship. But complicating things is that we were very good friends prior to us going out. We were going to get married, I had many doubts and issues about me that I projected on to the relationship, but I have sought help for those issues. She decided to stick with me while I worked on those issues, and except for one of her G/F constant interference, things were good. But I think that Tony is right...perhaps need to cut it off....now. Link to post Share on other sites
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