calabrisella Posted May 7, 2003 Share Posted May 7, 2003 Well...I started dating this guy right before New Years...it got serious way to fast...however I was very skepitcal and questioned him in the beginning. He told me that he loved me and that he wasn't an ass and that he doesn't use that term loosely. He is an owner of a restaurant and he told me that he would never ever let the restaurant ruin our relationship. He went out of his way to to introduce me to his friends and sister, took me out all the time, to his hockey games ex. Something happened at his work that forced him to work day to night. However, he still try to make the effort to see me...giving his cousin money to watch the restaurant. He would talk about our parents meeting and all that stuff up until the last day we were together. He was really sincere and wrote me a card about wanting to spend more years with me and all that mushy stuff. Three days after we last saw eachother he told me he wanted space...that his feelings for me were still strong but right now his family and I are his second priority cause his restaurant is probably gonna be forced to shut down. Oh yeah he has been bankrupt once before. So I told him yes as long as I don't regret it at the end. He said that he wishes he is not the one who is gonna regret it. Three weeks later he tells me on msn that its over. He still loves me but can't handle the relationship right now. Telling me how much stress he is going through cause of the shut down. I kept telling him to call me and talk to me about it and he said that he couldn't handle it. That maybe one day we will get back together. One month later I called him to see how he's doing and he told me that things are still bad. When I asked if he still loves me he said no and that he feels we will never get back together again. I was shocked. When I asked him if it was all a lie he told me whatever he said to me he felt at the time. He told me he felt really badly and I could tell by his voice that he did Well i told him i wanted my stuff back and he said when he has a moment he will give it to me. Which it's been like a couple of months and still hasn't. I just don't understand why he can't face me Its been 1 months and no phone call. We talked on msn chat for 1 hour last night (very wierd) and he asked me about my sex/love life but then he said he was joking that i didn't have to answer him. Then he told me he was going to cuba cause the girls there are cheap... pretty much purposely acting like an ass. Well I don't know what to accomplish by writing this i just feel better. It so wierd...cause he wanted the relationship so badly and talked about our future...now he acts as if I never existed. We never fought....we always had the best times together...even if it was short .... (2 months) we were (past tence) crazy about eachother... I was deleting files on my computer the other night and I found files of pictures that he sent me of his family like 3 weeks before the saga happened. There were like 50...he was pretty much preparing me for when I meet them...Big Family. Why would he do that and then BAM say its over can someone give me some insight. There was no signs...and Im a great judge of character. Or at least I thought I was. I am a very strong person...always have my wall up .... this time i took a risk and i got burned...and he promised me he wouldn't let me regret that I let him in my heart. I still love him Link to post Share on other sites
Bill Posted May 7, 2003 Share Posted May 7, 2003 Forget about him. He has ditched you in a bad way and you should focus on forgetting about him. There may be something else besides his restaurant that was causing this breakup. There might have been someone else. Who knows? Just be sure to write him off. Link to post Share on other sites
jessicakicksbut Posted May 7, 2003 Share Posted May 7, 2003 In my opinion, I think it is a good thing that you lost this loser...to say that a business, or any job comes before family or a lover will lead one to believe he does not have his priorities in life straight. By putting work before those whom he supposedly love's. he's just showing that it is actually "him" who is #1, not his restaurant business. Be glad that you got away from him!! Link to post Share on other sites
Vladivar Posted May 7, 2003 Share Posted May 7, 2003 I am getting hints that perhaps this guy feels if he doesnt have a strong, secure job he does not deserve a girl at all. Alternatively there may have been someone else...... But the words I type above are irrelevent when he can come out with **** like "Then he told me he was going to cuba cause the girls there are cheap... ". I agree with the previous two replies... move on. Link to post Share on other sites
NEONINK Posted May 7, 2003 Share Posted May 7, 2003 I agree with all other posts. But, I'm like you.... How does someone proceed to wonderfully through the relationship, whether 2 months or 2 years, and then boom... they end it. Major life events, death, birth, bankruptcy could explain some, but unless everything was a total LIE, what gives? Why then did he spend his time and energy to send the darn family pics? But why ask why sometimes, at least you didn't spend a lifetime with the guy. Link to post Share on other sites
NEONINK Posted May 7, 2003 Share Posted May 7, 2003 Perhaps he sent the photo's out of vanity. In every relationship, I mostly knew what I was getting into the very instance I walked into it. One flirted and cheated, two I couldn't stand, and one was emotionally unavailable. Looking back on the first meeting, do you think there was any sign of this outcome? Link to post Share on other sites
Author calabrisella Posted May 7, 2003 Author Share Posted May 7, 2003 Another thing I forgot to include: 2 weeks before he told me he needed space...he drove me 1 hour to this beautiful city to show me a house he wanted to buy. He was holding my hand as we went inside...telling me how much he hoped that one day him and I would share a home like this together. He would say and do stuff like this...I don't know. I have a headache just thinking about it. What kills me is that I would question if him and I were to good to be true and he would tell me I was paranoid. I don't know. I think I'm gonna take a tylenol. Link to post Share on other sites
NEONINK Posted May 8, 2003 Share Posted May 8, 2003 Maybe he got cold feet or some sense. It was awfully premature for him to be showing you houses. If you like him, step back and take a nice long breather. Perhaps he'll be back with an explanation. Link to post Share on other sites
Author calabrisella Posted May 16, 2003 Author Share Posted May 16, 2003 Well...it's me again. Thanks for the replies...I have my good days and then my bad days. But getting better each day. However, I called him on Thursday to ask him for the 5th time for my stuff back. His excuse...sorry...things have been crazy. He said that by next week he will come by and drop them off. Now...if he didn't have the guts to break up with me face to face... what makes me think he is gonna knock on my door. COURAGE..I THINK NOT! It's been a week since I called him and still no stuff. I don't have the nerve to go his house to pick them up myself, anyways he is the one who always tells me he is going to drop them off at mine What do I do? This is the 5th time and still nothing Link to post Share on other sites
Author calabrisella Posted May 16, 2003 Author Share Posted May 16, 2003 He has forgot about me and is not even thinking about bring my stuff back. But seriously ...i have asked him 4 times and he tells me sorry...that next week i will come by and he never does. Whats with men? Link to post Share on other sites
NEONINK Posted May 20, 2003 Share Posted May 20, 2003 If your stuff means that much to you, go get it! You can even take somebody with you. Personally, I like getting my stuff back. I don't like to think I've left anything behind except a goodbye and the back of my ass as I walk out the door. Take your stuff and your power back. This guy shows he has no backbone and probably no heart. Better you know now! Just remember, Karma! What goes around always comes around. It will be okay. Link to post Share on other sites
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