just broke up

[m_R_mowjow]

Hi, I just felt like talking to someone(Im not bothering with my friends.. they're a bunch of insensitive jerks). My Girlfriend, or should i say ex, just broke it off with me last night... by messaging me on my cell phone. We were going out for almost 19 months and she didnt have the decency to atleast call me..even a letter would of been fine!!!! she was my first girlfriend and we even lost our virginity together. But thats not my problem. Im just wondering... how am i gonna get over this? I was thinking of giving back all her things(letters, books, gifts, etc.) and writing a letter that goes like this

 

Dear m.l.l

I dont think these things belong to me anymore.

 

Sincerely, MRH

 

PS. Dont bother with writing letters

 

Well.. i forgot to mention one thing... She broke up because she told me that she doesnt think she wants a boyfriend...well we have been going out for a year havent we?! i dont even know anymore.. and i seriously feel like garbage the way i was dumped.

[clia]

Do not contact her. If you don't want to keep her letters, gifts, etc., then throw them in the dumpster.

 

She broke up with you in a crap way (some people just have no class), so don't even give her the benefit of contacting her. That letter you want to write screams out "I AM BITTER! I WANT YOU BACK! YOU HURT ME!" Don't give her the ego boost. The best revenge is living well. And when you don't contact her, she is going to wonder what you are up to.

 

Just do your best to get over things (even though it'll be hard.) Don't contact her, and don't give people the time of day who treat you like this. This is HER problem, not yours! You did nothing wrong. She is the one with no sense of decency or class. You are lucky to be rid of her. Now you can find someone who wouldn't dream of treating you that way after 19 months of dating.

 

And post here when you need support! We're good for that!

[midori]

hi, I know how hard it is to be hit with a not-in-person break-up that comes from out of the blue. It sucks.

 

My advice would be, seriously, to lay low for a while. I know you're hurting, I know that you have a lot of unanswered questions. But the thing is, obviously this girl isn't able to answer your questions -- that's why she chose the coward's route in breaking up with you via text (really incredible by the way, I share your outrage).

 

You're seeking resolution, explanations, apologies, justifications. She can give you none of those things. So anything you say now will fall on deaf ears and will back up her resolve to avoid you.

 

If you can afford it time and money-wise, I suggest that you throw yourself into an activity you've always meant to do. I dunno -- take horseback-riding lessons or rock-climbing classes. Something that will distract and exhilerate you for the next couple of weeks.

 

My guess is that if she goes for a week without hearing a peep from you she'll come looking to see what's up. How you handle things then is up to you -- but you'll probably have a better idea if you've had a week or two to process things.

 

In your shoes (and I have been in your shoes) I would want to be vindicated, I would want revenge, I would want to be comforted. Look to other people and activities for comforting. Look to yourself for vindication -- sounds like the person with problems is her, not you. And as for revenge, well, when it comes to a broken romance I'd say that indifference is the best revenge.

 

It'll be tough but if you can stay strong during the first month you'll be well on your way. Good luck.

[Tony T]

Well, this happens to just about everybody. It sounds like your ex is confused. The best thing you can do is feel kindness and compassion for her as a fellow human being making her way through a very complicated world.

 

One thing about relationships, they either go on to marriage or they end in a break up. Even the marriages eventually end half the time. So a break up is a pretty normal part of things.

 

Don't give anything back unless she asks for it. Gathering things and giving it back is childish and immature. Those things were given for a good reason at the time and they were meant for you to keep. If there are unpleasants memories associated with any of the letters, books, gifts, etc., just put them up somewhere (maybe in the attic) where you won't see them.

 

Don't write the letter you have proposed. Just write her and let her know you spent some very nice time with her and you wish her well. Showing that kind of class will give her second thoughts about having split. Poop on her!