conehead Posted October 8, 2009 Share Posted October 8, 2009 I guess it's an ego thing. It's like I was dumped and I don't want the ex back, but I still want them to want me and come back and say they are sorry, they made a mistake and want me back, just so I can tell them 'no, you don't deserve me' Is anyone else like this? I really admire the ones who don't have this urge like I do and can overcome their ego. How can I make myself lose this immature thought I have. I get this almost every time after I get dumped. Maybe next time I should just dump him before he can dump me Link to post Share on other sites
Nikki Sahagin Posted October 8, 2009 Share Posted October 8, 2009 I feel this too! At the end of the day its nothing to be ashamed of. Its pride and ego, and these things drive us in many ways. Whether its being liked or respected, striving hard in school, exercising. We all strive to do things because or pride, ego and self-worth. I still want my ex to want me (especially when I want him...but even when I don't). Sometimes I kid myself he still does (after all I don't really know that he doesn't!) You never know, he MIGHT still want you. I guess just focus on who else would want you now that you're single Link to post Share on other sites
ecm Posted October 8, 2009 Share Posted October 8, 2009 I think many people feel this way. I'm one of those people too, but only with CERTAIN exes. So, what? People like to know they're wanted. So look hot and let him think twice. But, It's a lot like the need to have the last word. Lately, I've been realizing that NOT having the last word is sometimes more gratifying. It's probably not healthiest way to be, but I don't think it's HORRIBLY unnatural. "Maybe next time I should just dump him before he can dump me." This is not a good way to live. I understand the feeling. I've broken up with people for this very reason. IT'S A BAD WAY TO LIVE. I'm pretty untrusting, so it's hard. Sometimes you're wrong. Sometimes you dump someone that could have been very good for you. So, if I were you I'd try to get this thought out of your head AS SOON as you can Link to post Share on other sites
Ilovecake Posted October 13, 2009 Share Posted October 13, 2009 That's pretty much the only feeling I have left of my break up. I want him to come begging so I can say no. I want him to be as miserable as he made me. I want the ball in my court and I want all the power. The really weird thing is he’s tried to be friends with me post breakup a few times and even said he’s still having a hard time letting go, when he’s like that I look at pictures of him and think how extremely unattractive he is. Of course the friendship thing never works out because he doesn't fall on his knees asking me to take him back and I get pissed off si then we keep going NC. When that happens I look at the same pictures of him and he seems so attractive all of a sudden. The heart wants what it can’t have. Frustrating, isn't it? Link to post Share on other sites
angelface78 Posted October 13, 2009 Share Posted October 13, 2009 I too feel this way. I dont think i would take him back after everything he has done...but i still wish he would come crawling back. I would tell him "wheres your new girlfriend? No you dont deserve any more time from me. You wasted my time" Its like i just want some validation for all the years i spent with this jerk. It was 5 years. I want him to to say hes sorry for everything he put me through!! To know.. that he knows he lost a good thing!! Link to post Share on other sites
Nikki Sahagin Posted October 13, 2009 Share Posted October 13, 2009 Part of me wants his back...but that part of me is not realistic. Because there is too much between us now. Too much hurt and resentment on my part to be able to carry on a healthy relationship. The way he acted at the end of the relationship has tarnished so much of it in my mind. The only way it could work is if he came back and proved to me through actions he had changed, but even then I wonder, if the resentment would truly fade away, or if i'd go into martyr mode and constantly need him to make up for the past. I want him back for the potential of what we COULD have been once, early on. I know the feelings weren't fake. But we messed it up, and sometimes the damage is irreversible or it takes so much time to sort out it becomes exasperating and draining trying to fix it. I kinda wish we never let the poison get this far... I only want him to come back if we could make it work, not for me to reject him. (Only in my moments of cruelty do I want that) Link to post Share on other sites
Author conehead Posted October 13, 2009 Author Share Posted October 13, 2009 Ilovecake - I know what you mean! I feel like my feelings for my ex have faded to the point where I don't miss him or anything....and whenever I do think of him, it's just that feeling of 'ugh!' like I'm just mad that he had the last word. angelface - yes it's the validation that I want! I just want him to want me back just so I can tell him a big fat NO! But in the end, all I can really wish for is for these feelings of anger to go away...and hope that soon I won't even care for this validation I want, and not even care if he comes back or not.... Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted October 13, 2009 Share Posted October 13, 2009 I thank god they're gone. The more permanently, the better. Maybe to another planet or galaxy. This philosophy stems from my personal philosophy of relationships, one which defines them by how and what I give rather than how and what I get. Link to post Share on other sites
GrayClouds Posted October 13, 2009 Share Posted October 13, 2009 Angel - This one is for you... Link to post Share on other sites
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