ShannonTurner Posted September 16, 2009 Share Posted September 16, 2009 Hi, I am wondering why an ex-boyfriend keeps "contacting" me through Facebook. He keeps adding me as a friend, and I keep ignoring him, but just recently he has added me for the 5th time. When I say he is contacting me, he never actually says anything to me, just adds me. I am getting frustrated because if he really wanted to talk wouldn't he just message me? Anyway, he was the one that technically broke up with me, he disappeared on me a lot (after we became long-distance) , would return into my life through e-mail every few months, and then finally I got fed up and just told him that if he was really interested in me he would have kept in contact. He said he would try to find a way to make things right, but instead he just disappeared again. This was like 3 years ago. PLease guys, I am not going to judge you for what you have to say, I am just need to understand the male mind a bit more! Why he does he keep adding me and not saying anything? Thanks you for your thoughts. Link to post Share on other sites
Maoky Posted September 16, 2009 Share Posted September 16, 2009 He's just being friendly. No need to over-analyse it, it's just facebook anyway. Link to post Share on other sites
Enema Posted September 16, 2009 Share Posted September 16, 2009 It's a lot of years since he last contacted you and we don't know anything about what's been happening in his life, so it's really hard to say. He might be newly single and looking up all his old ex's to reminisce. He might be on the prowl for a fwb and figures an old ex that he dumped was easy pickings. He might just want to be friends (least likely imo) As to him not actually saying anything, just adding you - I think he's not going to waste time on a message to you unless he knows you're responsive. You click "accept" to his friend request and he figures, game on! Link to post Share on other sites
Ilovecake Posted September 16, 2009 Share Posted September 16, 2009 You can block him from contacting you and seeing your page. if that doesn't send the message I don't know what will. Go into your privacy settings and put his name on your block list. I had to do that with my ex. Link to post Share on other sites
JP2009 Posted September 16, 2009 Share Posted September 16, 2009 From a guys perspective: I don't know him but I know I try to be civil with all my ex's no matter what. He honestly could just be adding you as a friend to see what you've been up to lately and creep your photos. He might not be interested. Just adding people that he knows. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ShannonTurner Posted September 17, 2009 Author Share Posted September 17, 2009 Thanks everyone, that's a lot of different opinions. I guess I can't be sure what his motive is. All I know is that 5 times is a lot of times to add your ex and keep getting rejected. Is it possible he doesn't know I am ignoring his friend requests since Facebook never notifies you that your request is being ignored? Link to post Share on other sites
EricaH329 Posted September 17, 2009 Share Posted September 17, 2009 My ex did that the first time we broke up. After about 3 weeks he would start friend requesting me on myspace, and every single time I would deny it. It eventually got to the point where he was trying to add me several times a day, almost as soon as I hit the deny button he would come back with another request. He got so fed up with it that I started getting e-mails like "STOP! Just f*cking add me!" I found it amusing. Who knows what his motive is. But if you don't want to keep in contact with him, then just keep ignoring him. If he has something important to say, then he'll e-mail you. Link to post Share on other sites
EricaH329 Posted September 17, 2009 Share Posted September 17, 2009 And yes, he does know that you are ignoring it. You can't send a friend request on myspace or facebook more than once if it's already been accepted. Also, you can't send a friend request if it's pending. Link to post Share on other sites
Unistudent Posted September 17, 2009 Share Posted September 17, 2009 He prob is trying to add you to 'creep' on your FB... I know I have done this to my X in the past... I'm not doing it anymore.... but thats why he is prob doing it. Why not add him and put him on limited so that he cant see certain things on your FB (ie. friends/photos). Then he might message you and say something you might find interesting. He may just want to catch up but doesn't want to initiate contact until he knows that you may want some sort of contact too (accepting his friend request). Just a thought. Link to post Share on other sites
Odyssey Posted September 17, 2009 Share Posted September 17, 2009 Facebook strikes again. (I'm glad i don't have it). There's too many reasons why he might be trying again. But that's a whole lotta ifs and i don't know enough about this guy - what is he like? (i know you'd only spent about 2 months together and then you called him out on it & he did a Houdini on you). What do you care anyways 'cause it's been 3yrs already, right? Link to post Share on other sites
Author ShannonTurner Posted September 17, 2009 Author Share Posted September 17, 2009 Thanks for all your responses! Erica, I am curious, did you eventually add him? Or ignore? Does he still try to contact you today? To describe his personality, well he was always described as a "good guy" by his peers. They always had good things to say about him. He was also pretty introverted, so I guess it's hard to imagine he could be such a jerk. If I do add him, I know that I would also be looking at his profile, which isn't great since I would like to date someone new and not hang on to someone whom it did not work out with. I just wish he would say something without me having to actually add him. Link to post Share on other sites
logitech Posted September 17, 2009 Share Posted September 17, 2009 I just wish he would say something without me having to actually add him. Exactly. If he wanted to actually say something he would find other ways to do so. I would say he wants access so he can see your pics etc and not much else. To keep you in check. Have you considered blocking him?? Link to post Share on other sites
Author ShannonTurner Posted September 18, 2009 Author Share Posted September 18, 2009 That's sort of heart breaking to hear - that he doesn't really want contact, just to look at my pictures Not the best news, considering what he did. Yeah I've considered blocking him, but then I feel mean doing it. Ugh. Link to post Share on other sites
Chrome Barracuda Posted September 18, 2009 Share Posted September 18, 2009 Hi, I am wondering why an ex-boyfriend keeps "contacting" me through Facebook. He keeps adding me as a friend, and I keep ignoring him, but just recently he has added me for the 5th time. When I say he is contacting me, he never actually says anything to me, just adds me. I am getting frustrated because if he really wanted to talk wouldn't he just message me? Anyway, he was the one that technically broke up with me, he disappeared on me a lot (after we became long-distance) , would return into my life through e-mail every few months, and then finally I got fed up and just told him that if he was really interested in me he would have kept in contact. He said he would try to find a way to make things right, but instead he just disappeared again. This was like 3 years ago. PLease guys, I am not going to judge you for what you have to say, I am just need to understand the male mind a bit more! Why he does he keep adding me and not saying anything? Thanks you for your thoughts. He's doing that to keep an eye on you through facebook. If anything just ignore his friend requests, also everytime he adds you just put ignore, also you can erase him and make your page private, it works like myspace right??? I dont have any of my exes on my page whatsoever, unless we're on good terms. which many of them are not! lol. Link to post Share on other sites
trueblue72ny Posted September 18, 2009 Share Posted September 18, 2009 i dont understand why he just doesn't say Hello. Link to post Share on other sites
fofiffs Posted September 18, 2009 Share Posted September 18, 2009 That's sort of heart breaking to hear - that he doesn't really want contact, just to look at my pictures Not the best news, considering what he did. Yeah I've considered blocking him, but then I feel mean doing it. Ugh. Just block him, its not mean at all to block someone who's screwing with your head. Do you wanna keep feeling heartbroken everytime he tries to add you and says nothing. He's just messing with you so don't let him Link to post Share on other sites
EricaH329 Posted September 18, 2009 Share Posted September 18, 2009 Thanks for all your responses! Erica, I am curious, did you eventually add him? Or ignore? Does he still try to contact you today? To describe his personality, well he was always described as a "good guy" by his peers. They always had good things to say about him. He was also pretty introverted, so I guess it's hard to imagine he could be such a jerk. If I do add him, I know that I would also be looking at his profile, which isn't great since I would like to date someone new and not hang on to someone whom it did not work out with. I just wish he would say something without me having to actually add him. Well... yes, after many e-mails of him trying to contact me and begging for me to talk to him, I finally accepted his request and began talking to him again. Which led to us getting back together again. Biggest mistake ever. Needless to say, we aren't together anymore, and I kick myself for ever taking him back. Anyway, if he truly wants to say something to you, he will say it. He will e-mail you or call you. Until then, it's safe to assume that he only wants to see what you have been up to. And, in that case, you need to decide whether or not you can accept only being 'friends' with him. I know I couldn't. I blocked my ex on myspace and facebook. I know that if I were to add him as a friend, I would be constantly checking on what he's doing and who he's talking to. Which is rediculous, and that's why i'm not going to put myself through that. If I were you, I would continue to move on. Being friends with an ex that you still have feelings for, definitely prolongs the process. Until you are fully and completely (and honestly) over him, I would have nothing to do with him. Link to post Share on other sites
Frankie80 Posted September 21, 2009 Share Posted September 21, 2009 I don't get what this guy is trying to do. Link to post Share on other sites
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