Kev Posted March 10, 2003 Share Posted March 10, 2003 I have been seeing this girl for about 4.5 years and we are in love. I find myself not talking to her as much as we used to as it might be because we are both really busy with school and work most of the time. I met her in high school and now almost finished my university degree I have never been with another woman in my whole life. I think I should break up with her .. but I have never really done anything like this before and I don't know what to do to make it really bad. All my friends are her friends. I see her everyday breifly but not enough to enjoy a conversation. I also find myself wondering my eyes and wondering more and more what other people would be like. I don't want to sound like a pig but the relationship is drawing on and on. I am a very introverted person and I feel that breaking up is scariest thing in the world. I don't know what I would do or what she would think of me. Can anyone provide any advice and how I should approach her and tell her this? We don't fight that much and honestly have no real reason to break up. The only thing that is wrong is that we don't talk that much or do anything together. I know you can work on those things but I don't feel modivated enough anymore to do this with her. Any advice is appreciated. Thanks, Kevin Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted March 10, 2003 Share Posted March 10, 2003 Well Kevin, this is a really hard one. You've got a lady you really love, you've been with her for almost five years, you say you have no reason to break up with her, the minor problems the two of you have are easily correctible.....well...uh??? You don't have any problems. Your girlfriend has a serious one. She has a boyfriend who wants to break up with her for no reason. Probably the best way to do that would be to simply tell her she's wonderful, that you love her but that she's the only lady you've ever dated. Let her know that it's simply important to you to get out in the world and see what other ladies are like...to satisfy your curiosity. It's so much better for you to do that now than to do it after you're married. Cheating can cause really nasty problems. I just want you to know that when you start getting out there and falling for other women, that those initial fireworks don't always last forever. You will always have times when you think the person you're with may not be right for you...EXACTLY like now. That's why people make committments to each other. These feelings pass and things always get better if the two people love each other and work at it. But I know where you're coming from and you've got to do what you've got to do. And while I absolutely know what you're going through and that you absolutely must find out what's out there that you're missing out on, there is a good possiblity that you could regret breaking up with your sweety all the days of your life. Just keep that under your hat. Love isn't under every rock in the park and good people you are compatible with over the long haul aren't all that easy to find. Again, just be very truthful with your girl...and don't expect her to take you back. She's been dedicated to you for 4.5 years and she's going to be a little pissed...or at least confused herself. On the other hand, hearing you want out of the relationship may be music to her ears. After all, she hasn't seen what all else that is out there either...and she could very well find somebody lots more loyal and committed and who enjoys conversing and doing things with her. Link to post Share on other sites
Kev Posted March 10, 2003 Share Posted March 10, 2003 Thanks for the advice Tony. I'll mull over it for a few days and then decide what I am going to do. I'll let you guys know how it goes. Kevin Link to post Share on other sites
Folklore Posted March 13, 2003 Share Posted March 13, 2003 Kevin- Oh man, you are my savior. The possition you describe and the one I describe are nearly identical with the exception of a few years time. I have been with her for almost exactly a 1.5 years; she is in her first year of university and I begin in the fall. We have had extensive conversations about our future. I am scared over never being with anyone else, is she the one I want to be with for that long? She also has alot of insecurities that throw some very interesting things into the mix. Josh Link to post Share on other sites
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